It's the dark doctor. ;)

HA!
Nice twist and love their banter!

Haha I love that you tied it in with another story! I don't know if it is just my phone, or what, but it looks lik you posted the chapter twice :P

that made no sense whatsoever

ha! I instantly got which story this was from! And I love that the Doctor let River deal with being outside... though I wouldn't have blamed her at all if she'd strangled him with his scarf.

I had a suspicion, but the way you wrote the victim, I thought surely I was wrong. But no!

Haha! That was hilarious!