Great story

one question, how THE FUCK did you legally get away with this many references and cliches, also nice hellsing ultimate reference at the end.

Well, I'm sorry that it's up to me to tell you that your story did not, in fact, managed to reach the horridness of infamous My Immortal. You came close, yes, with your Mary Sue Harry but otherwise... well, let's just say that your grammar and spelling just aren't up to that standards-your story is-sadly-perfectly understandable even to people that do not have English as their first language and it also doesn't require previous knowledge of many goff bands...

Cool chapter. _

Wonderful. This was sooo much cliche, it was great again. Its like looking at an accident. You want to look away, you know it is not right, you know there happened something bad, but you just can not!

Wonderful!

Nice...

Oh.. My... Gosh...
My eyes are burning.

I applaud your work. XD hahahahaa

fcuk off u prep u canott be make awsum liek my imortel mi immoral wuz teh best an dis stroy dosent have ebony dark'ness dementia raven way only preps i meen like reely hary an fluer dat french bich waz like so prep like lady gaga an not kool goffs like merlin mason an gud charlote mcr rox foreva biches yea!

This is the most stupid, ridiculouse and funny story I've read so far. It was awesome!

There was even mentions of YouTubers! Its hilarious!

It is like if you fed a hot shit and 5 (my immortal) cliches smoothie to the twisted love child of the twisted love children of a Gary stue an fangirl mix and a Mary Sue and fanboy mix. I actually felt about 10 I.Q. Points crawl out my ears and run away screaming In pain. Mission accomplished. And very well played.

Well, it wasn't the new 'My Immortal', and for that, I'm thankful. It was bad enough to be hilarious, but not so much that I experienced physical, emotional, mental, etc. pain, so kudos for getting a good balance! Though if you wanted it to be at 'My Immortal' status of bad, or as close as possible, you would need horrible, horrible grammar and spelling throughout, not just in the last paragraph (though that last paragraph was at that level), and for it to make no freaking sense in and of itself, let alone within the Harry Potter universe. Oh, and paying obscene amounts of attention to details that no one gives a crap about, like where each piece of clothing the main characters are wearing was bought. Extending the agony for as long as possible.
Also, I absolutely loved the TFS Hellsing Abridged reference in the closing Author Note. Like a little cherry on top of a gloriously humorous sundae.

I must admit that the run on sentences—one sentence per paragraph—made reading it difficult. I gave up after perhaps 6 paragraphs. I suggest you ask someone to edit it.

Btw, sorry for my laziness to not sign in. DZAuthor.

... ROTFLMFAO!