awesome!

I know I shouldn't get all happy about a character getting that angry and upset, but Steve's reaction to Cath's injuries says so much about his love for her that it made me smile.

"Well that doesn't bode well for me" - I wasn't expecting to react to this like I did. If I'd been drinking water, I would have been in trouble. My reaction: Pfffffttt! GRIN.
I like Gabby :)

What am I saying, of course you did - hee hee. I just love those sarcastic, mouthy reactions that Danno has. You nailed the way he speaks.

Buying gabby new shoes - The fun just doesn't end. I love how Steve changed his mind when he found out how expensive those shoes are. You do a great job of keeping up the humor and pace, but you do it so that each character is still acting the way they always do. It's seriously just like an episode.

Ah, the glimpse of the soft Steve. Welcome to the McGarrett club, Gabby. mwahaha!
I was surprised at how deep and touching this conversation with Steve and Gabby was...well, I actually wasn't surprised, b/c it's you writing this, but you know what I mean ;) It really affirmed Catherine's character, and reinforced just how much Steve means to her. Not that we needed the reinforcement, but b/c we didn't need it, I think it made it that much more touching.

Chewy shoes - I actually let out a strange giggle/laugh. O.o Good thing I was alone. Oh, Danno.

I haven't had that much fun in years - this elicited a short laugh that was like the final relief that all truly is well (except for the final resolution). Everyone is safe, Catherine's hand has been looked at, Gabby's doing ok, Grace is going to be told about their safety, these bad guys have gotten what was coming to them, and now, we just need to take care of Albanese.

You do a great job choosing words in dialogue to make people sound like it's them. When Chin is explaining about the farm equipment being huge, the Florida guy being Albanese's former law partner ("and get this, he's a former...), it was so Chin's words that I heard his voice in my head. Of course, this is not the first time this has happened when I'm reading your stories. :)

Yep. Pants was crazy. But I'm glad you hinted at his unhinged mind earlier, otherwise, this would have felt forced.

Ah, the quote. That was unexpected but good. Very good.

I have to say, Sammy, you're a talented writer. I totally meant to read only a couple chapters today. Read all eight :P

It's all because of your talent. ;)

Thank you for the lovely read. I had a good time!

I have to admit. I kinda winced and groaned at the dislocated knuckles, but strong reactions in a reader are a sign of a great writer. ;)

Only you could make talk about throwing a shoe away fascinating to read. But it works. I could feel Gabby's emotion at what she had to do to Catherine through this conversation.
And Catherine's response about not throwing Jimmy Choo shoes unless she'd killed someone with it really radiates her background and training. I know it's not said, but I felt like talking like that was an innate result of her training. It probably calmed Gabby down and even distracted Catherine from her own pain.

I really like how you made Peter Fields' involvement more than just that of a coward. He had a personal issue, too, especially concerning his harvester invention. It makes the story so much deeper.

"Then I'll revive you and kill you again" - heeheehee. Oh, Danno. That was just an awesome line.

Pick a number. One to eight. - Oooh, Catherine is soooo cool. The show should have done something like this. They so missed out!

Grace - I have to admit that I like that her character is more grown up than a normal child. Some of the things she does is just so thoughtful and touching. I'm glad you made this scene have her calling Danno to comfort him. It's just so Grace. And yet, she still has that innocent faith in Auntie Cath's promise. Loved it.

The tension of Cath and Gabby escape was well paced. And the relief I felt when Steve and Danno finally walked through that door...it was like I had been kidnapped with Cath and Gabby.

Wince. Cath's hand...onwards to chapter 8! I wonder what Steve's reaction will be to what happened to her hand. And how will the whole Albanese problem wrap up?

I'm glad how you didn't make just finding out the bad guy the end. Now that we know who he is, you've upped the stakes, and two very important people are in danger now. Great storytelling!

Hmmm...Albanese seems very well-mannered. Is he really the killer? Or is there something else going on? Oh, wait...he's kinda creepy. Nevermind.

Ahh...the farm equipment. I see now. Revenge is a scary thing.

Death Report - Wow...I never thought the death report would be an essential part of this story. Great job planting it early on without letting us know how purposefully you planted that report.

Pants - Pwahahaha! I'm reading the serious monologue of the killer, and I can't stop grinning. Pfffftt! Hee hee.

I like how you put in the detail that once Albanese saw how good a curator Gabby was, he didn't want to have her witness the horror he's going to commit, so that she would still take the job. That slightly unhinged reasoning was so calmly and logically presented that it was perfect. Makes me see why he's a psycho.

Oh! Peter Fields! So he's not dead. It's great how you keep throwing stuff at me that makes me go, oooh, now what's happening? But you never throw anything that hasn't been planted previously in earlier chapters, so I'm never thrown so off that I get confused.

"You two are very strange, you know that? - Hahaha, I loved this. So hilarious!

Whoa - Ouch! Poor Catherine's hand! And poor Gabby. And what a way to end this chapter! Onwards!

Couldn't resist. Ended up reading the whole chapter before writing a single part of the review. :P

Peter Fields - I had almost forgotten about him! The plot thickens. I really like how you keep putting twists and turns so that even though I think I know, I still second guess myself. And things then you either prove me right or wrong :)

There was a part when I thought you might have mixed up the names of the Security companies (sorry for doubting you!). But then it was b/c the names Airtight Security and First Rate Security were both familiar to me and I didn't know why. It didn't hit me until later that First Rate had already been mentioned through Danno's problem (that email that the culprit sent to First Rate Security). Very well done!

Gabby! - All the scenes with Gabby now have a alert-mode heightening effect! Casually introducing Patricio Albanese in earlier chapters was a good move.

Now, that we know who the bad guy is, I want to know why. What was it about that case that made this guy go psycho? Can't wait find out.

On the next chapter!

Even though it's just the ride to the crime scene, the opening scene with Steve and Catherine in the same car is just full of emotion and tension. I haven't read the part where they've arrive just yet, but wow...I'm getting nervous just reading. You do such a good job!

Whew...craziness. Poor Eddie! But as a reader, I'm so into this story right now! The plot thickens! And I can understand the Denning's anger, but I have to admit, I kinda smiled when he tried to turn his scary governor stare at Steve and Danno. No effect on our Five-0 guys. :P

TMI...I hate you - Pwahaha! This feels exactly like an episode where the seriousness of a case takes a small side step with Steve and Danno's hilarious interactions. Love it!

Patricio Albanese - Uh oh. Uh oh! Patricio? Like Patsy? Am I over thinking things? Wait, why's this scene so short? Uh oh! Gaabbbbyy!

The Grace scene - very nicely done. Touching. And all of her concerns were expressed the way a girl her age would express them. And it matched the character I've seen on screen, too. It was especially a bit of heart jerker when she asked if Catherine was here to stay. I'm glad you had her bring this topic up, b/c her mom and Danno's divorce had to have some kind of effect on her. It good to see it play out here, and great to see Steve and Cath reassuring her that Auntie Cath won't be leaving.

"I guess it doesn't matter exactly how we're doing it..." - This was a great detail, and with the exhausted eyes looking at Kono, it really gave me the feel of how tired everyone is.

Told him you were feisty on the topic...very sweet thing to say - Hahaha! I just love how calling her feisty, not to mess with her, translates as sweet to Cath. Steve and Cath's relationship has these small unique things that make it THEIR relationship, their way of being together...love it.

Ending - Of course...Steve gets to say the great, romatic line. heh heh :)

You didn't miss a beat. The first scene of the chapter doesn't go off to a side scene or anything, but gets straight on the murder case and even mentions that Danny's problem is being addressed. At this point, that's what I feel like I needed as a reader. You left me hanging (in a good way) at the end of chapter 2, and I wanted to know in Chapter 3 that my cravings for info will be met. No disappointment there.

And Cammie loved Esther. - AWWWWW. My heart did a flip and warmed up. That warmth even traveled up to my face until I was blushing. Thank you!

teething...the baby not my wife - LOL. So far, I like this guy. He seems honest and straight forward. But of course, I'm going to keep him in my "seems clean but just in case he's actually a good liar" file.
Hmmm...he talks a lot. Probably not a liar. :P

Poor Danno. I liked how Steve offered money if Danno needed it. Danno's refusal was expected, but it was good that he said he might have to take that offer, just not now. I think that says a lot about their friendship. They trust each other, but I know that no matter how close you are with someone, it's hard to borrow money. Actually, it might be even more difficult if they're closer b/c you wouldn't want to trouble them.

Ooh...the farming thing came up again! :D Charity event!

Wow...my adrenaline just shot up when the pounding on the door revealed an ashen Danno. Your description is excellent!

Steve's thought process about being able to qualify for financing, putting up the house for Danno...it was a deep moment. That's what I call friendship. And Danno's greatest worry: losing custody of Grace, is so him. That is one of the core things that moves his world. Add Catherine to the mix, and here's a great portrayal of the family mentality all the members of Five-0 have for each other (I'm sure if it was Kono or Chin in this situation, the response would be the same).

Why won't you let me do the same? - Ha! Love it. Catherine's got a point, and the next description (Steve froze) shows just how true her words are.

Wahhh! Eddie! I did have the fleeting thought that Eddie having a meeting with a friend was a little worrisome, but then I brushed it aside! Oh, noo!

I was going to maybe stop after chapter 3 to take a break, but that is just NOT possible now. Onwards to Chapter 4!

Sorry for the choppy review. I wrote it as I was reading the chapter, so it kinda jumps from one section to another, although always in chronological order :P

The opening scene has me grinning like an idiot. Catherine and Steve's exchange is so natural and just watching the easy banter between them is wonderful. Here are some of the lines that made me smile:

But when she was feeling unusually happy, or on special occasions, she treated herself with some flavored cream - this is such a small detail, but I felt like it brought life to the scene. It's these little details about people that make them real.

We can make the monthly payments - (I couldn't get "We" to italicize :/) I just love this assurance Catherine makes. Even though both are secure in the relationship, it's these little affirmations that make it stronger. Loved it.

The dowry comment to Grandma Ang will protect me - Gotta love the whole exchange. So much fun. I can't wait to see how it plays out later in the Thanksgiving story you ladies will write.

Yay! Gabby! I really liked Gabby. But I am glad that you made her permanent return to Hawaii up in the air. Seems much more realistic than all of sudden having her come back.

"Manicures...pedicures...whatever it is you guys do when you go to one of those places that makes you take your clothes off and put on a robe." - Such good characterization of Danno! This is exactly something he would say!

Ooh...serial killer - I wonder what the connection is between the victims? Maybe something to do with farming? (Just throwing out a wild guess)
I love how input little details here and there to keep the suspense going. I'm not normally a mystery reader, but I think I could become one because of you. :)

I think this is the first time I've enjoyed reading about signing mortgage papers. :P

Putz, politician, same thing - LOL. Definitely chuckled at this one. But I have to say, I loved the complex way you showed Garza's character. He's not necessarily likeable, but I didn't find him unlikeable either. Rather, I could see where he was coming from. Nicely done.

Ooh...the tuition thing is a bigger problem than I thought. Is it connected to the case? Wah, I can't wait to find out!

Wow, I was reading only the first few lines of dialogue and description and already, I could hear Danno, Max, and Steve's voice in my ear. I could especially hear Max and Danno's voices. You nailed them down!

I will also say that you truly have a talent for drawing readers in. Until I got to the part where Gabby appears, I got too absorbed in the story and forgot to take mental notes for this review! :P (Note - I'm writing this review as I'm reading the chapter, so some of it will by my actual reactions I had while reading it.)

So far, I'm analyzing all the little tidbits of info I've received so far. I have to admit, I'm a little suspicious of Fields, but then again, it's still early in the game.
And I love how you put in little side problems and even set ups for later stories (i.e. - Grace's tuition problem, Mary and Joan coming for Thanksgiving, Gabby, etc). It makes this feel like I'm watching an episode, only in writing. :)

Steve has something to discuss with Catherine? Why so serious? Wahh! What is it, what is it? GASP! Adding her name to the deed? That's a big step!

Thirty years mutual debt - lol. For some reason this made me chuckle.

Wait, that's the end of chapter 1?! Whew! So glad the next chapter is one click away!

this chapter is so incredibly perfect it's hard to express exactly how much in words.

Catherine engineering their escape and willing to go to any lengths to get to Steve and warn him and Danny about the scum that is Pants, she's always been a hero and always will be but this highlights true heroism incredibly well.

her having to endure not only the dislocation of her own hand, but encouraging Gabby to dislocate it for her, shows exactly how strong a person Catherine is. You capture the emotion, tension, and fear perfectly in the little gestures like the deep breathing. Even the little bit of humor with the shoes is so incredibly well written. We can see the women's expressions as we read.

the escape. That perfectly crafted beautifully wordsmithed escape, is so spot on I could feel the trees slapping them as they ran and see them pounding on the door of the Food Mart.

wonderful continuity with the Food Mart from oblivious, thank you ;) and the relief and love when Steve realizes she's OK and when Catherine hears his voice and know she got to him in time, is palpable. The I love yous are not only realistic but completely in character for both. never over the top, just realistic with each relishing in the other being OK.

the simple joy in the four of them joking about the shoes "Danny will buy you new shoes" is just masterful. It was an honor to read this and I know I will read it many times again. Beautiful job, partner beautiful job! Bravo xo

Ah! I finally had time to sit down and finish this story. Man was it exciting! I LOVED, I mean L.O.V.E.D., the scene with the women escaping from the hideaway. The drama, the bravery, the pain, the crazy! What a scene. I was trying to figure out how on earth they were gonna get outta there. I loved also the way Cath was just so matter of fact, we're getting outta here to save our guys. Such a departure from Show's (and tv in general) usual female in harm's way. These chicks saved themselves and then their men. It fits Cath so, but I just am so in love with that.

I enjoyed the ending of the case too... poetic and fitting end to the creeper crook. And of course the final scene, lovely as always. Show (and some fan groups too) does a lot of breast-beating about Ohana, but clearly are only periodically really invested in the concept, as only some characters seem ever to be included in it. You guys, our McRoll queens, get Ohana, and your stories radiate it. It comes into play somewhere in every story and it is so satisfying. I end every story with a smile on my face.

Well done as always. Thank you for entertaining us and keeping this beloved couple front and center.

Awesomely detailed plot and great characters!

other permutations of Patrick/Patricia include Paddy, Rick, Tricia, Trish, Trick

Loved the story! Amazing last
chapter and very suspenseful!

OMG! I can't decide if this or the previous jumbo fic is better! I loved it super much! It was full of action family love heart breaking scenes mystery action and everything that a who,e story and an amazing episode should have! I can't believe your fic isn't an episode! Cause it's much better than one of his episodes! I so loved the moments that steve and at heroine shared from the very first chapter till the end! I loved how they feel the need to say out loud the I love yous and how they can't leave with out and of course how stevewas nervous to ask catherine to put her name in the mortgage and in the end how catherine made steve understand that it's their money cause its their house their love their life and they don't just shed theis love bodies mind and souls but everything that they come with!
It was a,asking how they were there for Danny all the way cause its a brother to them and how they feel the need to step in front and help him even when he says he doesn't want to!
I'm excited that Gabby is back in Danny's kide hopefully for good this time, and how strong she ended up when catherine needs her help to brake free!
Of course Catherine is amazing and I loved that she found a way to get free cause well she is more than amazing right?
And how she didn't want to brake free to save herself but to save steve? Steve is always one her mind and he always comes first of course! I just love their love so much!
I'm so happy I got to read this fic! Like I saud it was much better than a CBS episode and they should keep track on the real world to get the idea on how they are suppose to write and work!
Thanks for posting it and sharing it with us!
Can't wait for more stories to come and I hope that there will big another jumbo fic coming soon :D