haha

LOL! This was so cute and funny! I think that its pretty good for your first short story... There were a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but if you read the story again I'm sure you will find them. Anyway, loved the story! 3

You want an honest review, I am laughing so hard. Well, the fact that I am actually laughing and not just laughing in my head is a big thing for me when it comes to fan fiction.
Constructive criticism, watch your tenses. I don't know if it's just a minor pet hate of mine or something but personally I prefer when someone writes in past tense. When you have a word with -ed at the end, it normally States past tense but you have both. Don't know if I'm just being picky but hey, still loved it!