A pity, but understandable with how you wrote this. I look forward to seeing how you handle FE14!

Noo! I was so excited when I saw the update!

In all honestly, out of all the SI fics I've seen, this is the one that felt the most realistic right from the get-go. Even out of the more popular ones we always praise for their writing style, we never see a proper reaction to things like their first kill on the battlefield or the trauma afterwards. I was very excited at the prospect of seeing them all slowly adjust to their new lifestyle.

Anyway, I hope your Fates story goes well! I'm interested to see what you'll do with Odin, Selena, and Laslow since it seemed like you were gonna go the no-future-kids route here.

Not a bad fight. I think you've got the best action scenes of you three

Question, what the fuck is chronology doing here? We did arena Ferox last chapter, and now we're at the Longfort? Have you guys just not been communicating, or what?

Nice take on the battle. I liked seeing it from an observer's perspective!

Careful with the Butterfly Effect business. Lots of people use that, and it gets old fast. Try and think of a consequence that is new and original!

Highlight of the chapter was Maya. She feels the most real out of the three protagonists, and the way she expressed her care for Matt was very lifelike

it's so difficult to find a FE: A story without the OC characters being OP and over prepared, plus alot of them follow the game script way to much and of course their ways of entering the FE world is usually lazy and uncreative. But this story takes a unique twist and I love it every part! I hope to see more soon.

Teaching Robin to sing, eh? That'll be interesting

Good, a canon change! Though I'm not sure what happened to Sumia, I'm glad you're changing things

This seems to be steering towards MattxOlivia

I take it you guys are fans of Singing in the Rain?

Big fight is right! Glad you did this now, since this chapter in game is boring as shit. This was much more exciting

Not much to say, since so much fighting! :D

Drink the cake!

Hmm, assassins. That'll be interesting. But poor Matt fighting without sleep.

That battle was much improved from the last one. Well done!

A... Chicken... Other people have wolfs, dragons or any other thing as a pet but you guys have a chicken... Yeah, I don't know how to answer to that. It's just funny.

I don't think the Shepherds would go and do a formal dinner to introduce the new members but it's a nice change to the formula where everyone just skip or just use the same one from the game. I don't know if Sumia was consider a foot soldier since she's a pegasus knight in-game but I may be wrong.

So far the story is good, it's a new spin to self inserts and it's telling the story with a few changes.

A pet chicken...that's a first for SIs I've read

So it's pretty clear who Maya wants to end up with, and they think Inigo and Jason will be a thing. So that just leaves Matt...

I like Vincent. It's a good name

Nice performance! Another thing that've seen for the first time. Well, maybe not the first time, but you did it the best.

What your SI has that many don't is a feeling pf comraderie between the inserted characters. Like that whistle bit. You three know each other deeply, and it shows

Chrom must have tons of bucks to blow. That piano, coming from an Anna had to be at least 10k gold

The correct way to spell it is 'Dammit'

I sympathize with Maya. I type quite slowly

RIP Virion's confidence. Maya was absolutely savage there. I did like that moment with her and Lissa at the end

I just had a thought. Since the three of you are theatre kids, do you plan to do any sort of acting in your story for tacticsl purposes, such as sneaking in, posing as someone and throwing open the gates to a city?

I like that ending line. Gives a chilling impression on me. Nice!

Try drawing out the fighting more. Just make things longer. Drop your sword, get hit in the arm, trip, I don't care. Just don't be stab to kill. Battle isn't a win or lose situation, it's a conversation—a debate

Okay, I friend of mine recommended me this fic and usually I'm the first to read SI/OC stories, I been busy for the last couple of months and to find your guys fic... it was a pleasant surprise and I'm glad there's still some creativity in the SI department, the characters set have a personality of their own rather than just being the same SI mary sue/gary stu that you find in this type of things.

The references to theatre are charming and I hope it becomes a thing(despite me not having to much knowledge about theatre)

I do think you guys introduction to the shepherds was a little bit rush and short"Hi, we are a group of singers that knows how to 'fight'" it's not bad and it helps to move the plot along but you guys could expand on that just a little bit.

Matt & Jason: Overall, I like it a lot. I like the theme of music and performance you guys are giving to the fic(Maybe can include things like the scenes of Aqua from FE Fates) MACBETHHHH!
Maya: Yes you do, we believe you.

Maya's author notes are the best.

More theatre references! I like those

Not bad action for a first fanfic. If you need help with writing an action scene, shoot me a PM.

Allow me to give you s little lesson on dialogue. I saw two errors that cropped up frequently, and I want to make sure that you guys can fix them!
You wrote:
"This is an example quote!", he said.
It should be:
"This is an example quote!" he said.

The other error was as follows:
"Do you like the pikachu, because I do." I said.
Correct way:
"Do you like the pikachu, because I do," I said.

If you need any help, ideas or writing, let me know!