I love this; I love this so much!
Keep up the amazing work.

Wow that was incredible. I look forward to following your work.

I am enjoying this so far and hope to see more. Your writting is just fine, I wouldn't worry about it so much.

Nice take on Cole! Interested to see where you're going with this :D

She needs him; hell, I need him! I love the way you write Cole...

I don't think it's wrong at all. I think you're doing very well; he isn't an easy character to channel, after all. But the more you do it, the simpler it will become. You'll get to know him better- get to know *your* Cole better -and it will flow, like music. Natural and pure. Trust yourself. Don't get discouraged. Remember his heart, his motives, and the words will come. You'll know his reactions like your own, you will feel his essence, and you will capture it, glistening like a gem caught in amber, a cell in stasis, a moment- simple and true -frozen in the crystal-clear ice of time.

We are eagerly awaiting your updates, so don't let any lingering doubts hold you back! I have every faith in your abilities. )

Hm I'm not sure if I can see anything "wrong" with how you've written Cole, he seems pretty in character to me. I guess if anything he talks more? I dunno, it just seems that he tends to say people's thoughts out loud quite often, even if he's talking to himself. That's the only thing I can think of to make your characterization more accurate (in my opinion). I really like how you've had Cole describe the minds and feelings of others so far, especially the Inquisitor's! She sounds like a very nice and motherly kind of lady, soft but also capable of being stern and a real force to be recond with. I can't wait to read more, your writing is lovely so far! :D

You write him beautifully, my dear. I hear his voice and see his actions through your written words. I love the way you've captured him. I'm unsure if you've finished Inquisition or read any of the books featuring Cole, but should you learn something new of him you are always more than welcome to edit as you see fit. At this rate, if you edit this 100 times but still keep Cole as himself then I'll read it again and again. Wonderful job!

He feels too self assured. In the game he feels more lost, confused at first, searching, seeking, but here his confidence feels more secure. He feels more like he does after receiving the amulet. Other than that, I'm enjoying this! - Unikorn

I think you're doing well so far. Maybe use more alliteration? It seems fine to me :o

I like it so far. I think maybe the only "off" is your confidence in writing a character like Cole. :)

LOVE it! I can tell this is going to be a deep and moving story with a poetic style! Day of the Wolf greatly approves!

Interesting, looking forward to reading more.

High hopes for this! :D Your style is wonderful, and you seem to write Cole well. I cant wait to see more.

This looks very promising thus far. Often people fail to strike a balance between a style of smooth descriptive writing and Cole's unique train of thoughts, but I think you're handling it well right now.

There were some minor typos here and there, but that was to be expected: after writing a piece, authors unintentionally memorise it. Unless they detach themselves from it for a long time, they're going to read it with their brains and not their eyes.

Do not be disheartened by a low amount of review; it doesn't mean the quality of your writing is poor. It's just that people are usually more inclined to press a follow/favourite button to show their encouragement, rather than write a comment. :)

Keep up the good work.