(Finally getting round to reviewing old fanfaves... only two years late, oops xD)

Oh my god I loved it! Second person is such a hard thing to do, and you've done it so well. I can really feel Draco's every emotion, and it's almost agonising to read.

You've managed to capture the moment from Draco's POV perfectly, and with so much more raw emotion that I'd ever imagined it. I've read this scene from his POV a couple of times, but yours is the one that's going to stick with me the most.

I love that you keep cycling back to Draco's want to feel, to test things to see if it'll make him feel. It adds something so real to it that really enhanced the story—I know when I've been at my lowest I've clung onto one specific thing.

Like the story I reviewed earlier, there are quite a few SPaG errors, but I expect they've already been pointed out in other reviews (that you received at the time you were meant to).

Great job :)

That was quite packed with emotions, which I find all the more impressive considering you wrote it in second person pov. I think you've given us a good insight into Draco's mental situation at that scene and I like the mention of him becoming friends with Myrtle and how Draco thought Snape was there to guide him to hell.

This was certainly a unique look at that particular canon scene. It's not one of my favorites, but the way you delved deeper to give Draco's reason for being there really added to it. And it gave a look into his possible mindset at the time. The sneering remarks he made about himself, along with his self loathing worked well to pull the piece together.

There were a couple things with SPaG, but I liked it.

This is great :) You captured Draco's character wonderfully, and seriously, the feels you induce with this fic are intense.
I love the second person. I find it so difficult but you wrote it really well. There are a few spag issues with this, but I'm sure a read through would capture them all, and they don't detract from reading.

Hey

Second Person, huh? That's an unusual type of story to find on ffnet, especially since it's one of those story types that isn't allowed in this site as per the rules and guidelines. (Might one to fix that aspect of the story in case they go on one of their purges)

Ah, here it is.

Entries not allowed:
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.
-Quoted: Rules and Guidelines

Now, I like this story and would hate for it to be pulled because of a mere technicality (If you don't want to edit this into either first or third person, I recommend posting it on AO3, which is more lenient)

Now, onto the main review for the story itself:

I like that in this story you focus on Draco's struggle during the war -so many people do it wrong but you're one of those people who've done it right, which is awesome- I like the manner in which he's reflecting on how he's crumbling under the pressure, unable to keep up the fight, so to speak.

I think HBP was a real turning point for Draco's character and this story really does him justice.

-Ciao Mate

Okay, so I'm super picky about the use of second person. It's a POV that takes all power away from the reader; it makes us feel like we have no control, because the story is literally telling us how we're reacting without giving us a choice. There are people who use this tense just because they think it's edgy or it sounds cool, and that drives me nuts.

You use it flawlessly.

Using second person totally conveys how powerless Draco is in this scene - really, in his entire life. Someone else is always telling Draco what to do and how to act, and the way the text throws around "You do this" and "You do that" similarly takes free will away from the reader. Like Draco being escorted from the bathroom, we can't "do anything other than be guided along." I know that's a really small detail to dwell on like this, but it really enhanced the story, and I don't think it would have been as powerful if you'd gone third/first person.

This is one of my favorite scenes from the book, because we get to see that good and evil aren't black and white, and I'm glad I've gotten to read it through Draco's eyes. It's not often I have sympathy for him, but his self-loathing and exhaustion and desperation all come across beautifully in your writing, and I couldn't help wanting to hug the poor baby :( That last line, about wanting to fall, really got to me.

Other reviewers have pointed out spelling/grammar mistakes, but honestly I was so caught up in the story that I barely noticed them and didn't really care. You pulled this off amazingly.

Wow, this story is amazing. I love the insight into Draco's mind and his thoughts about everything he's doing and has to do. Showing the pressure on him and the effect it's having.
How he can't stop the tears, but his pride gets in the way when he sees Harry. How he feels like he has to fight and the part of him that wants it all to end.

I think you captured the scene perfectly here!

OMG I want to reach out to him and hold him close. I think you captured Draco's feelings and thoughts during this canon moment very well. I liked the mention of crying being for the weak and the failures, but since he feels like a failure, then why shouldn't he cry?
Then you make him cast the Crucio, not from memory but from personal experience at its hands. And when he's hit by the Sectumsempra, his body is still so numb he can't feel it. Maybe he wanted to die then. It would have saved him from Voldy's wrath.
This was great. I loved it, though there were a bunch of typos and spelling errors:
'rather' instead of 'whether'
'shots' instead of 'shoots'
'bloke' instead of 'block'
'you're' instead of 'your'
'than' instead of 'then'
'person' instead of 'personal'
'lose' instead of 'loss'

Second person! I always find people who write in second person interesting because it's so tricky for me. I like how you introduce Draco's mindset, and his disbelief at the person he sees in the mirror. I like how we see his deterioration from his point of view.

Myrtle! I love that you've added her trying to help because the Draco/Myrtle relationship, I think, is one that's often really glossed over. I like the comparison between Harry and Draco and his feelings of inadequacy because I feel like that's probably pretty genuine. i do feel, though, that in a couple places it gets almost repetitive with the angst.

[You're pretty sure he's just an illusion brought on by blood lose] - Should be blood loss. I really like this sentence and the one that follows it, though. It's very interesting reading this scene from Draco's point of view, and I like the conclusion he comes to that Snape is an illusion there to cart him off to Hell. I think it's a really powerful statement.

I liked this little glimpse into Draco's mind!

SPaG:
[your legs are so wobbling] - I think 'wobbly' would make more sense here.
[The curse shots from your wand] - Should be shoots.
[You bloke his spells] - Should be block

The second person in this was great! It really suited the story in my opinion. It gave us a greater insight into Draco's thoughts and feelings compared to if it had been written in third. That was what really stood out to me.

I enjoyed reading this scene from Draco's POV in general, too. It's probably out there, but I haven't read one before, and I like trying new things.

I guess I wasn't really in the mood for self-pity today, because I was becoming a bit frustrated with Draco, but that's my mood today. Another day and I would have been okay.

Again, a few typos, but less than last time.

Over all, a nicely written story with lots of emotion in it. Well done.

And this one is brilliant, too. I love hearing scenes we all know and love from the other perspective, so to speak, and you've captured Draco's mindset in this book brilliantly. In some ways, I think his story is more emotional and heartbreaking than Harry's during the books. Again, there are a few SPaG errors, but the overall power of your writing outweighs them by far. I love the metaphor you've used about falling, too.

That was a good story. It is always interesting to hear these scenes rom a different point of view. there were just a few points that troubled me.
*1. There were a few misspellings. It was minor things
* were grammatical errors. You wording could have been better.
*3. The story did not always flow as it should have in some places.
Remember though, it was still a good story!

Brilliant insight of the bathroom fight scene. I like especially the fact you didn't use the first person pov; the second person pov gives this a nice edge. :) I think I was holding my breath for the most of the time because I had to concentrate on reading and now I'm out of breath. You made me feel so sorry for Draco.