nice

OH GOD IT WAS WORSE THEN I THOUGHT OH GOD WHY

still a good story tho

now she's sad about the teacher-sex comment

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

still a great story tho

cant get clean enough... dark marks on the arm... depressed... always being held my cinder...

IS RUBY BEING RAPED!?

i swear to hek you better not have

something with ruby and cinder dont add up

great chapter, i really like this so far

This was an excellent story. Probably the only complaint I have with it is you went a little too heavy on the "Ruby's being abused by Cinder" foreshadowing - it was pretty obvious that it was coming from the chapter that had Cinder's first lines. Even with the attempted Red Herring of Mercury and Emerald bullying her, it didn't write work.

I do get the feeling that you set out to write a Freezerburn story and then the plot bunnies grabbed you and ran, turning it into the Ladybug and Ruby focused story that it became.

Oh, and that Ruby/Cinder reveal scene? Very well written, and you got the right feel across.

Huh, I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this story. I'm fine with this story covering rape and neglect and all that, because it covers it in a very odd light, making me a little uncomfortable with it's message.

For one: it's a little curious how much of this story is told in Yang and Weiss' POV. Normally in this type of story they would just be side character's, Ruby's issue being the forefront. Granted it was for a time, but only when the story was coming to a close. This starts to become a bit of a problem when Yang starts to do some very negilgen, unsympathetic things. The reader is supposed to empathize with her and her strugglez yet her being a raging bitch to both Ruby and Weiss' runs contrary to that sympathy.

And then neither of the two relationships are at all healthy. One was born on what was, in effect, bullying, and Yang has already proven herself to be emotionally abusive. The other comes at the tail end of a rape. Seriously, it was two weeks after Ruby and Blake killed Cinder and Ruby's already talking about possibly being in a relationship with Blake? She must've healed quickly. I'm just waiting for the house of cards to crumble in both relationships.

Then there are things in here just for the sake of drama. The other students being horrible to an unrealistic degree. Cinder somehow being the first one to find Ruby before anyone else even though the police were privvy to the information way before her, etc.

So yeah, this story is very odd for me to effectively critique.

Yang yelling at Ruby like that? Sorry, I'm out. That's not true to her character in the slightest. Ruby is also WAY too glumly and Weiss is way more of a bitch than she should be. Sorry, but when none of the main characters are likeable, you've lost me.

this was a very interesting story, i greatly enjoyed how different it was from anything i've read in recent memory
bravo to you for finishing it!

i wanna keep going but its 1AM
this story has a very VERY different tone than pretty much every rwby fic i've read
the character interactions are all sorts of different and foreign to me yet i'm engaged. got halfway through the story in one go so i hope to finish it tomorrow. its really good!

ouch that got too real there. i really really feel bad for rubes. like. oof. my heart.

i do enjoy these takes on the characters, the scenario that they're all in for this situation and like i said, i'm in it for the long haul but damn i was not expecting that in the least. shout outs for unpredictability i guess

it hurts me that poor little Rubes is being ignored as such
i'm sure the others don't mean to do it but its clear there are some issues going on. i can't wait to see that addressed.
Blake. give the clothes back pls.

welp that was quite the first chapter, i'm interested in where this is going
gotta say, reading them eating food got me peckish. its 11pm i shouldn't be wanting a sloppy joe haha XD

This was a very well done story. I found myself highly invested in each of the character's struggles, and I was on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. I'm definitely interested in reading more, should the sequel ever come out of hiatus. Good job and keep up the good work

OH MY GOD I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOUR BIKE IT SOUNDS AMAZING