This is really a review for the first 54 chapters. I came across your story and could not stop reading it. I really enjoy the detailed interaction and I am really impressed how well you flesh out such a large group of characters. Your characterization of Haer'Dalis is really well done. It makes him a really interesting character in a way I have not seen before. I also like the exploration of all the different schools of magic. Can't wait see how it ends!

"Have you spoken to him for any length of time?" :D

I love how Edwin's general jerk-ness is so readily apparent that Jaheira didn't even have to lie to convince Solaufein why they all hate him so much. I'm also glad Imoen's starting to come back into her own a little bit. I really enjoyed her interactions with Haer'Dalis and Valygar.

Great work, as always! :)

I like how you've found Elatharia and company a plausible way to get into Ust Natha. Something tells me an encounter with Adalon would not have ended well for them.

I also like how you've split up the group for their respective missions. I'm looking forward to seeing how Valygar particularly fits in with the rest since he's been more of a background character so far. Poor Jaheira, though. Something tells me this is going to be particularly trying for her. It's hard enough for her to deal with her concern for Imoen and her distrust of Elatharia without having to pretend to be one of the hated drow.

I just want to end by saying how much I LOVE your take on Viconia and Haer'Dalis. I'm not overly familiar with either character since I don't normally take them in my party, but their relationship is incredibly believable and complex, and I always look forward to their scenes together! I know I'm quite a bit behind, but I can't wait to finish this story someday (hopefully) soon!

I know I'm super late to the party here, but I just wanted to say that I'm slowly but surely catching up on this story. Extremely well-written, as always! I'm enjoying the relationship between Elatharia, Imoen, and Aerie a lot, and seeing Anomen get humiliated is always a plus in my book!

I see that you've finished writing; congratulations! Hopefully work will allow me enough free time to finish reading it soon! :)

"He does not even know what a courtly dance is," Viconia sighed, leaning forward and taking a bite from the confection she held as if that might hide the fixation of her gaze. "Oh. Perhaps he does." hehe! Viconia's not fooling anyone. Of course he couldn't get Viconia to dance; Imoen is a perfect second choice - how cute!

"Absolutely," Viconia fairly spat. Lol she's not even trying to fool anyone now.

"She's like that with everyone. /He's/ like that with everyone." xD how true! yet it's still hard not to feel jealous, aw...

Omg drunk Korgan at an elven party. O_o watch out!

"We are not in Thay." hehe cute. and fingers on her belt, naughty! ;O

Eee! He got Viconia to dance with him after all. I suppose the trick was letting her stew in jealousy for a few minutes. x)

'a great black shadow darker than the inky night sky which glittered with those countless stars' ooh pretty yet foreboding!

I love how you ended it, with Anomen joining Balthazar; that will make their trip to Amkethran so much more interesting - I'm really looking forward to it and all the unique twists you have added to the story; it will be a lot of fun if Memory of Sunlight is any indication. ;)

Congratulations on finishing this epic tale - or at least this section of it - by the way! Hope your ToB writing progresses smoothly.

"It wasn't a strong charm. Barely more than a persuasion." aww but I guess that is no surprise D:

ooh that is a cool and icky spell Elatharia uses there, withering the roots. 'The taint of death' aghh her next spell is even creepier 'gagging on the writhing mess inside her' yikesss that is scary stuff

'the passing of Imoen's door was an arrow to her heart' aww poor Jaheira. I'm glad Valygar found her before she left! I like the mention of Silvanus's power/nature aiding her as she escaped; it's nice to know she still has that.

Elatharia is having feelings again, woo! and around Edwin heh heh heh

'her sharp smile - some poor attempt to hide her /relief/' oh, Viconia xD

'Elatharia wondered why it made her feel so...sad. And tired.' looks like she's lost a lot of those negative feelings for Jaheira! But too little too late, aw.

Awesome dragon-embossed loot there! And Elatharia chooses to leave her face bare, that really feels like a wonderfully significant moment. :)

Oh-ho! Melissan saved them when they were little and gave them to Gorion? :O !

"They were surplus to my needs" hehe Edwin can't admit he was being generous /considerate

'She curled his fingers around the ribbon of her robe as she stepped back toward her room. The knot slid free.' that is a great way to end the scene implying a lot more happened ;)

'She muttered mutinous complaints when Irhan insisted she could not take her flail' xD

'it was Aerie who lingered out of place' aww all her 'good' buddies are gone! it's sad she feels that way but I suppose she never got close to any of the rest :(

great description of Ellesime there! In fact all the fancy dress descriptions are quite nice

'not the wild, loud cheering of humans, but a painful reminder that they were being /watched/' aww there definitely is the sense beneath their gratitude that they'll be glad when you're gone

I'm curious just what Amelyssan/Melissan is up to - are they really separate people? Either way is promising to be interesting, and making Amelyssan Elatharia's mother is such a great way to lead into ToB, nice!

Woo Korgan's still alive! Hooray, you write him so well hehe.

Nicely gruesome description of what's left of Elatharia, aw. I like that you pulled her and Imoen through with Irenicus; it really makes more sense than having the entire party tagging along. Plus I'm sure you will make it more interesting that way. :D

"you're the /strongest one here/" aww go Imoen!

Nice description of the surroundings! (sorry didn't copy the whole paragraph hehe but I liked it )

I like that you included details like the cough Viconia got from all that smoke; it's great realism. So is the group making do with whatever clothes they had on hand trying to blend in hehe. Looks like only Anomen was prepared to get fancy. xD

'A smile starting to show on his face to see... whatever expression she was betraying to him' aww Viconia

"Not grateful enough, I imagine" aww Haer'Dalis. They are so cute! "I am not a surfacer, my beloved Blackbird. You have nothing to prove or disprove to me" *hearts* That was a very sweet scene and it's sad to see Viconia still struggling to accept her feelings but Haer'Dalis is so understanding and supportive still.

'The silver buttons resisted from lack of use' nice detail! 'Perhaps Mother had become insane in the end' ooho just drop that juicy detail in there :O I am excited to read about his backstory in ToB! :D

'Suldanessellar was all but silent...leaving the elves to their skeleton of a city' powerful image, once again doing a great job bringing the city to life ;)

Ooh Melissan in disguise! Or, wait, maybe the first one was the illusion. xD
'It was with a creeping feeling of unease that Edwin watched the woman touch Elatharia, who lay so senseless and /unprotected/.' Don't let her - attack ATTACK XD

aww I like how Edwin just takes a seat beside her to wait; that's really sweet (shush don't tell him)

Wow, wasn't expecting to see Irenicus falling apart! Really interesting way to go with it; I love the creepy description of him 'His scarred skin was fraying and from the hollow shell of his body Elatharia could see her soul oozing through the cracks' and then how the 'strands of light seep into her skin' and add to her strength really sets the fatality of the confrontation up well. and wow having his eyes melt from Bhaal's power. :O

'She had never before realized that she was /visibly/ shorter than her sister' xD Cool to see the eight left of them in statues; it's a nice way to help set up ToB.

'The arrival of the druids brought with it great change' aww that is a really nice detail to have. I'm going to have to reread your story to get inspired when I get to Suldanessellar because you do such a great job making it feel real. Also the Underdark. And the sahaugin. Okay, you just do settings really well in general. _

"though the queen offers her rewards with pained duty" aww. The stiffness between Anomen and Aerie is so painfully awkward once again; I felt so bad for them.

ohh how cool, you're sending Anomen along to meet up with in ToB :D

I had wondered how the rivalry between Jaheira and Elatharia would end up, but I definitely wasn't expecting her to get mind-controlled into it! What an awesome way to tie in Melissan's plans; it really makes the most sense to kill her while she's insensate, too.

'Elatharia's eyes opened and the room filled with the golden power of Bhaal' DUN DUN DUN fantastic way to end the chapter - and a pity I have to go to bed now because that's a great cliffhanger. :D

Ooh that is some lovely carnage description hehe 'littered with the blood and skin and innards of the dragon. Splinters of its bones jutted from the churned ground'

Wow, every one of the elves dead but Elhan, that must be terrible for him D:

and aww I like how you describe the moments leading up to Imoen's realization, how she knows something is wrong but not yet what; the tension comes through really well

Melissan showing up, ooh! she certainly cuts a mysterious figure - really interesting to introduce her into Aerie's POV

Aerie's reaction to seeing Mazzy was really sweet and sad 'almost as if she was reaching, and Aerie made automatically to follow even as her eyes blurred, her throat caught. Her voice cracked on nothing. "M-Mazzy?" she asked, as if that might wake her friend.' T_T

'grim-faced and grimy' I like that :D

the reminder that they're so high up is nice; the game never really got that feeling across. 'Don't look down. The very thought made her dizzy.' 'Her knees still wanted to buckle at the knowledge of such height.'

'His lips met hers as if he had expected it, and the slow heat of it pushed aside the panic for just a precious moment.' aww *heart*

'"He sounds like just the man I want to fight," Coran disagreed' what a guy!

ooh bleh nice description of the icky maggot thingys. "ye didn't need to gimme a reason" Korgan lol

'There were few things in the planes that called up the blood-boiling wrath of his demonic ancestry like the devilish pit fiends' cool to have Haer'Dalis's POV for that, perfect! Having that surge of excitement/inspiration for battle really grounds the scene nicely.

'armor leaving sparks and a trail of singed bark in its wake' very vivid description!

'But he was a demon too. And the Blood wars sang their heavy, battering song in his soul' oof it's cool that he's still hanging in there because of his demon blood, even if that was as far as he made it. 'He did not have the strength to leap aside as the pit fiend toppled' D:

Cool that you split the party up like that so you could have some simultaneous battling. I have to say I'm sorrier than Haer'Dalis to see Korgan go, but he put up a good fight of course!

'all about her the ground was black, deadened, wisps of rotting air rising up to choke her' ack what a terrible spell!

aww the tree saved Elatharia, awesome! but oh no it's Edwin vs Irenicus eeeeeep

I love how the battle came together with Jaheira at last getting a hit in and Imoen's backstabbing and even the tree cooperating! And those moments where Elatharia can feel/talk to her soul are quite cool, up till it pulls her 'headlong into the void' uhoh :O

One more epic battle coming up! :D

'the flare of flame at the northern end of the line told Imoen where her companions most likely were. Few wizards flung flame as relentlessly as Edwin' ha-ha!

Ooh, you do such a great job making this feel like the full-scale battle it is, with the golden-armored elves like something out of LotR (since that's the only giant inspiring battle with elves I've seen, I suppose xD).

'the shine of Bhaal's stolen power pulsing across the dark sky' ooh *shivers*

If I were Imoen, I'd want to be saving my spells, too. D:

poor Elatharia dealing with the barbed devils, aww, though it's fitting in a wonderfully disturing way that their pain is placating her

I like the roots being so 'alive' again - nice to see it through Elatharia's eyes this time - and it is so cool that they took part in the battle, 'catching on the wrists and ankles and necks of the demons and devils' though awww 'Every root which it turned to the fight shrivelled and withered away when its task was done' oh that's so sad and beautiful!

hehe dropping demons 'to die amongst the roots of the Tree' fine idea

'pushing through the resistance of his protections. They sparked before permitting her grasping fingers through to tangle in his sleeve' heh that's funny to think of normal touch being thwarted that way, I like the image!

'the look she gave him ought to have withered Korgan's very soul' xD

I like that description of barkskin, 'every movement crackled'

Elatharia's turn to order the gelugons around, nice! seems like that would come in quite handy :D

very cool to work in Viconia's problems with light to her distaste of the temple 'the bright white of them had her squinting'

'she was quick to glance away before Edwin could see her treacherous expression change' aww Viconia's treacherous heart! 'no, he had not yet smiled'

It's nice to see things from Viconia's POV; I think you picked the best character to show here, since she's so uncomfortable and so ready to be judged 'Viconia made a point of looking away' it's a great reminder of what being a drow really means in a place like that. I like how she was afraid of stepping over the glyphs, and then it turned out to only affect Elatharia, aw.

'Anomen avoided her gaze entirely and that only sped the flow of her tears' d'aww!

'All she saw was the golden light of Bhaal, behind her eyes and ahead of them, shining brighter than the early morning sun from the vast boughs of the Tree' I love all the reminders of the golden light; it's a cool theme to carry through

'That... that shaking is the /dragon/?" EEP!

'He had reapplied his warpaint, though it hardly seemed that the dragon would care' haha

'it set the chimeflowers unique to this reason jangling with painful dissonance - nice description!

Oof, I don't remember if the game had traps there or not but great detail, yikes O_O there's so many things set up against them that it's no wonder that they're all terrified - I like how you describe the effort it takes Elatharia to cast a spell

ooh cool idea to use the dimension door to fire arrows into position! :O and even cooler idea to zone in the planar sphere woowwwow that battle was not looking good at all - poor Mazzy! it makes sense that they'd have so many casualties; that acid breath was really something D:

I love the idea of an infiltration! It's a nice way to add tension and raise the stakes plus it's always fun when the groups split up since you have the chance to spotlight different characters. And Haer'Dalis and Imoen and their skin-itching discomfort around each other make quite the interesting pair! :D

I like that Jan's quasit-self is reassuring to Haer'Dalis there; that's really cute, especially with that scary devil shadowing behind them, eep.

'it felt as though the roots hummed beneath his footsteps' aw that is a great image, of the tree being relieved to have someone who isn't a terrible monster arrive

I knew 'Gehenna' couldn't have meant anything good but that was really interesting; I'm curious to know just what sort of power she has over them! :O

"it is a constant reminder that they are safe from their frozen Blood War only under the summoner's discretion" ooh that is cool-and sad D:

I like how all their enchanted rings clacked together. :D 'no purpose came to mind thereafter. Thus Edwin refrained' agh haha of course he needs a 'purpose', the silly man!

I like that Jan stayed the longest in his disguise lol; it fits him so well somehow :) flying erratically and cursing in Gnomish haha...

Wow, you do an excellent job describing all the freaky devils and demons running around; it really seems so impossible that they would have been able to fight their way in. Agh and walls exploding in the chase! Yiiiikes

Ooh great descriptions of colliding with the locked door and then how the 'itching crawling feeling...came over her in a flood' and 'the demons now leaping for her with bared teeth met with Death' - nicely dramatic :O and smart to use a dimension door considering they would have been dog-piled on otherwise; I was worried about how they'd get out of that!

A lovely description of the boughs of the Tree there in Elatharia's dream. I also like 'she understood herself to be most certainly /not/ awakened'; it does seem to have such a nice dreamlike quality - especially nice contrast after everything they've been going through

I really like the way you've written Ellesime; she comes across as a lot more, well, likeable hehe. Everything from her dirty feet to the 'perhaps I deserve his wrath, but not Suldanessellar' makes her seem like a vulnerable and much less haughty queen which I think fits really well

oh deaaaar "your features are lost in layers of past damage" D: that's really interesting to think about, how she must appear there then, aw

The wards are down, woo! You really made them work for it, nice job! :D

That is some great description in the opening paragraph; I really like the contrast from 'black wasteland' and 'red hot roots' to 'crisp white snow and snaking glaciers' - it evokes just the right images/feelings there!

That's an interesting parallel for the 'towering and branching architecture' of Ust Natha to be reminiscent of the 'woven walls and cradling roots of Suldanessellar' and it's a lovely image.

Ooh, I love the fact there's 'demons prowling' out there; it really sets the scene and makes it feel scary in a natural way (especially compared to how the game sets it up xD). The 'endless dull beating' being the 'patrolling feet of the golems' - whoa, nice ambience there.

'they had been quite happy to send Mazzy and the others out instead of their own' aww *winces* I guess that's about what I would expect from the snotty elves, not that I can blame them...

'so softly that it hurt worse than a shout' aww I can really feel Aerie's awkwardness here. D:

'in the comforting gloom' ooh nice reminder of Viconia's background as well as the faerie fire 'marking them out for Mazzy's lesser surfacer eyes' and her 'squinting irritably' stepping into the firelight

cool detail for Haer'Dalis to remark on the Blood War and how Irenicus's summoned demons and devils aren't made for mixing x)

'that ached at the back of her thoughts' aw I love that phrasing

'though his chin was perhaps a little stronger than was average' haha nice nod to the game portrait of him as a human xD cool idea for him to show up on the elves' side there - another thing you did more interestingly than the game! ;) And you put him to such great use giving Imoen a chance to emote a bit.

aww Imoen struggling to remember him and having her memories take on a distant dreamlike quality :(

'She spoke the words through gritted teeth, ignoring the rush of /something/ that warred within her' D: !

ack the way she stops when he touches her 'it was not a grip, merely a suggestion' is still so sad 'everything in her sinking as she turned to face him' I wanted to growl at him not to touch her heh /

whoa, all these details about his demon troops and the spell protections and everything really make it feel like they have a nearly insurmountable task ahead of them! :O I like that they're keeping the group in the dark about Irenicus since they don't seem so much the chatty type. O_o

I like their exchange about the golems, Elhan being his usual uptight self hehe; it's cool that Elatharia knows about the control source. And what a plan for them to come up with! Infiltration is a lot more fun than a frontal assault. :D

'She would have to transmute her own sister into the form of a barbed devil' Eee!

"It's not so flattering like that" xD Jan is the only one who can summon up words staring at that, ha. And woo Jan-as-a-quasit! What an excellent idea.

Aw, great use of that line of Jaheira's emptying the city. (I was like oh yay Valygar and Jaheira scene! x) and oh yay I love it!) '"How logical you are," Jaheira laughed, a little more genuinely now, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand with the roughness of one who is ashamed' - aw such a great image of her. Really liked their exchange here. When he puts his hand on hers 'and for a moment alarm shot through him' *tries not to cackle gleefully*

Looking forward to the infiltration and the big showdown :O

Wow, it's been a long time since I've had the chance to read this, but I really enjoyed your take on the sahuagin city. They're certainly much more threatening here! And I'm so glad Imoen's got herself a bow again. But poor Boo! I really hope this isn't the last we've seen of him... :/

“Hey. It’s Haer’Dalis and Imoen. They’re flirty with everyone.” Still, Viconia scowls.

And of course you’ve got to do that stopover in Watcher’s Keep. Every player does. And I like how Anomen seems to be being set up as an antagonist in the sequel, along with *possibly* Jaheira.

So, overall review:

Again: it’s sad to see this fic coming to an end, but I just want to say that it’s been a fantastic read. One minor critique I had, early on, is that your writing has this tendency of keeping up with where all the characters are and what they’re doing, when it’s not always necessary to put that in the text. *But* that, and your writing in general, got improved on a lot in the later chapters of this fic, so urm…yeah, there’s really nothing to critique anymore.

And, as I’ve mentioned a few times, your vivid environmental descriptions and tendency to give the characters really interesting and elaborate costumes is just a joy to read. The final battle with Irenicus was also extremely well-written. That’s a difficult battle to do well, with how much he gets built up, but you pulled it off perfectly. And another moment that will always stand out for me: the scene at sea when the Githyanki ship appears. That was amazing and vivid.

A fantastic fic, and congratulations on finishing it!

Awww. It’s sad to see this wonderful fic come to an end. It’s been such a joy to read.

You’ve really developed a great style when it comes to actiony-sequences. There was a great sense of verisimilitude throughout Jaheira and Elatharia’s confrontation. And hm. Wonder what sort of spell that was that got put on Jaheira? It almost seems like some sort of curse. And I’m guessing we’ll find out more in the sequel.

Ha! That’s a funny thought: that glowing magic eyes could help you find your way in the dark, kind of like a magic flashlight. Seems quite dizzying, having feelings again. And I also like the sense of vertigo that comes with realizing ‘Oh, I’m in some crazy elven treetop city.” And again: I love the depiction of soulessness vs. having one’s soul restored. Elatharia suddenly acting like a kid with a giant crush around Edwin was a great way of portraying that too.

Chimeflowers, mosaics, and elaborate ironwork everywhere. I really like the beautiful descriptions of elven architecture. ‘It was too much for one as impatient as Edwin.’ Ha! He’s a good character to have around, to keep things moving along.

Hm. So Elatharia got a ‘haircut’ from nearly being killed by one of Irenicus’ spells. That’s an interesting detail. And of course Imoen tries to make her presentable later. And everyone gets a spiffy new outfit too! And d’aww…Elatharia and Edwin make a great couple. They’ve got such a great ‘partners in crime’ thing going now.

One of my favorite things about your writing, by the way, is all the wonderfully vivid descriptions of costumery. I’m glad you managed to work a big instance of that in here, with everyone being gifted with new outfits by the elves (and Edwin sneaking in the gift of the belt.)

Looking forward to the inevitable twists with Melasan. In the games she kind of shows up out of nowhere, so working her into the overall narrative (from the very beginning, in fact) was a great idea. In my own BG1 fic I’m pondering giving her a cameo at the end of the story. A good villain needs some buildup.

I loved the sequel-provoking resolution with Jaheira at last, and with Imoen set up at odds with Elatharia but in a loving and friendly way. The conclusion of the Edwin/Elatharia relationship continued on with the relationship's excellence-while-not-being-overbearing and I liked the multiple scenes with Elatharia coming to terms with her own emotions.

I also think it's /fantastic/ that Elatharia and Edwin keep ending up driving away anyone-but-Viconia who has a high wisdom score, and don't bring Viconia to important meetings, and therefore are unable to reach the highly logical conclusion that Melissan is very obviously Elatharia's mother XD and one and the same with Amelyssan the Blackhearted XD.

"I sense no transmutation' Well duh Edwin, maybe she just does her hair different XD XD XD !