You're doing great. I'm really interested to see what you do with this. the only thing I would say is that sometimes when you're describing the thought processes of the characters you mention things that are already clear by what they're saying, and it sounds repetitive. But other than that, it's a fantastic story!

I absolutely loved reading your storyline for this! The title really fits the story and i like the length of this!

Very good AU you got so far. There is some things that need to be fixed, but the story is promising.