Interesting and very introspective what-if. I like it! :)

Keep narrating,
Ranma-sensei

This was fantastic. It took the character's stories into a different direction without losing sight of what makes them who they are. Its the ending for Asuka and Shinji that everyone wanted, but without drowning in cheesy romance and bullshit. It gives them their happy ending with the sad and depressed tone that evangelion is. I loved it and I bookmarked it to read again later, I loved it so much. The dialogue was so that I could actually head and see it all happening in the anime itself. You really did a fantastic job with this. A bit of criticism however. Pay attention to comma placement and other minor grammar bits. The only reason I bring it up is it ruins the flow of the story when you consistently leave out commas. And one more praise: I LOVED how the very first line begins off ambiguous but then unravels Asuka's true intentions.

Hey, you know that was pretty good. I could see the two of them having that interaction. Short, but nicely done!

I like. I like a lot.

Your story explores an interesting scenario: What if Shinji had looked for his missing and obviously in great need roommate instead of being solely focused on his troubles? What if he would have found her?

You have captured very well the degree of despair they felt at the point in time. Asuka is very in-character. She is completely shattered and she tries to drive Shinji away not because she is spiteful or uncaring... but because she is very afraid of him. She is also resentful because she wanted him helping her but he did not do, so she feels it is too late now.

And yet, despite of being unable to connect or even having a civil conversation, and having hurt each other and been hurt by each other, they keep trying to reach each other out. They desperately need to connect because they know deep-down that nobody else can understand their pain.

Asuka feeling regret and that feeling pushing her to open up at last was also well done. She lowered her mask, showed Shinji as she regards herself, and he does not run away (even if it because there is no one else he can go to). And maybe now they can slowly help each other and heal.

I quite liked that, they both were in character, and that ending was really sweet. I think the dialogue for Asuka was really spot on, especially with her venomous attempts to get Shinji off her back.

If there was a chance of a 2nd chapter I wouldr love to read it, but this is good enough on its own as well.