In a sudden bout of nostalgia I reread the manga and felt compelled to read some fanfiction when by chance I stumbled upon this fic

So imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered a gold needle in a haystack after an hour of passively searching for stories

Despite the fact that this story on in 15 years old I just have to express my enjoyment! It has just the right balance of humour and tension causing the slow realization of Pluto's plan! And the foot notes! I've rarely seen them done well in fanfiction or actually published books, its a format that seems to be particularly difficult to do well in fiction. This fanfic completely nails it! The jokes in the footnotes made me snort far too much! Rather than just explain parts of the story they add to it and may be (along with Pluto's snark) my favourite part!

Now I know its likely that you'll never seen this but I just had to express how much I loved this fic, I've even bookmarked it in my browser to keep as a pick me up!

I loved this so much! I couldn't stop laughing and the ending was just perfect.

De verdad que magnífica historia tienes un talento extraordinario y un estilo de narrativa único que es un deleite nunca me he reído tanto en una historia de verdad que si mollejas hubiera salido en la serie hubiera sido el daimon más genial de toda la serie jejeje saludos!

I stumbled across this story and have not laughed so hard in ages. Thank you for writing this!

OH MY GOD, this is perfect. I just laughed for twenty minutes straight. :D

A few times you have Sailor Pluto using her Time Staff for decidedly not-senshi-duty-related stuff, like exhuming a canister of something and hacking through a rubber tyre. All in the service of the Greater Good, right? ;) I love your Setsuna! Also, thank you very much for addressing the feeling of "staring down the barrel of a thousand years of blissful togetherness" because it always sounded like a nightmare to me and I wondered why no one ever brought it up.

Part Fifteen - their first escape attempt - hilarious. Brain sloshing around in his skull. The spinning of a transformation sending them several metres into the air. The chaos of a double transformation in very close quarters.

Part Seventeen - the footnote about Rei getting the equivalent of late-night infomercials if she reads the fire at unimportant times is so funny, so precious. I think that you wring the most possible humour out of this universe, you truly explore its dramatic and humorous potential.

Part Eighteen - THE ORWELLIAN ASPECTS OF CHRISTMAS. OH MY GOD.

Part Twenty - I swear I cackled like a mad witch when I read your footnote. Presenting the whole convenient alleyway thing, in a universe populated with magical girls and caped crusaders, as a law of fiction is GENIUS. The cherry-on-top of this sundae of a fanfiction.

Part Twenty-Five - aka the sarcastic invocation of movie plot tradition. I am not quite sure what to say, except ... you put The Thing in words. That is all.

Part Twenty-Eight - Bonus points for comical yet fitting visuals: e.g. "the turkey continued its flaming arc across the Tokyo skyline." I like that things are falling into place, truly in Time Lord Style - namely, Sailor Pluto saving the world while preparing a Christmas dinner. All in a day's work for Sailor Pluto, eh? And oh. my. stars. Dramatic Irony is vanquished ... because Setsuna paid attention in literature class.

I effing love this story.

Post Script:
TURNS OUT THAT THE CREEPY OLD GUY NEXT DOOR *IS* THE SERIAL KILLER WANTED IN FIVE STATES! Just as you pre-ordained in the foreword of this story! Oh my stars, I was howling with laughter. And when Sailor Pluto pulls the turkey practically out of a top hat and every one just goes. dead silent. and ghastly pale. And the conversation that follows is one that can only happen in a group of magical heroes with varying personalities who just had a near-death experience with demonic poultry. And poor Setsuna bursts into tears! Poor lady, she DID pull everything off perfectly.

Let me reiterate: I. EFFING. LOVE. THIS. STORY.

The foreword ALONE was hilarious. You have a Dry Sense Of Humour which convinces me that five minutes spent in your company would be more than enough to brighten up the day. The way you described Christmas (and the *addition* tacked on to the end) were On Point and tickled just right.

Part One - Sailor Pluto's prologue - had me laughing out loud. It really did. I love the thought of her as a little mischievous, keeping her fingers crossed while making a promise and all, and the imagery of the 'cat's cradle' of silver threads was perfect. And then, The Golden Cord of Inevitability. The idea is GREAT, and her reaction to it is even better: "the last time she'd seen one the little bastards was right before the fall of Silver Millenium" - ahahahahaha. It's a very satisfying, though brief, glimpse into the point of view of someone eternal and eternally meddling like Sailor Pluto.

Part Two - "Rubicon has been crossed." "Although Rei was the only true psychic in the group, literary convention allows any or all major characters to receive vague presentiments of doom when things are about to start circling the drain." BAHAHAHAHA! Circling the drain. I don't care where you got that, your own head or somewhere else, it is so precious.

Part Six - oh my gosh, Makoto drawing a TRENCH with freaking BARBED WIRE because she will absolutely /not/ have the horrid orange gelatin dish at her culinary table, no sirree. And I actually BURST OUT LAUGHING when I read "what on earth could possibly go wrong?" and the author's note that if a 'prescient historian' would have been nearby, that sentence would have gone down in history just like the ill-fated Titanic one and the interrupted elephant sentence, which sent me into a fresh gale of laughter. Honestly, I love the way you narrate this - always with dry humour, like a world-weary person telling a half-funny half-tragic story at a bar, kind of like Lemony Snicket. And always portentous of doom - as in, "Pluto considered calling Minako and telling her not to pull the lever" being reminiscent of "don't push the big red button". You keep Doomsday on the back burner and never let us forget it's there.

Part Eight - I love Minako and the "guilty-as-hell quaver of her voice that chilled Makoto to the very depths of her soul" because GODDAMNIT MINAKO you're like a kid who blows up the house when ma and pa turn their backs! And your *addition* made me laugh, not surprisingly, how Sailor Pluto wished to avoid a future in which Usagi and Haruka found an empire of rap music.

Part Nine - the imagery of what Mamoru imagines the others thought of his childhood Christmases had me cackling. "Bull-dog faced matrons hurling bits of cabbage into a crowd of snarling feral children" - how do you come up with this golden stuff, I'd like to know? 3 3 And the jewelery bags shooting out of the turkey as if out of a cannon, and the SMUGGLING JEWELS (I see everything falling into place! You genius, you!), and their heroic poetic speeches interrupted. (Much more realistic than the anime, I think.) I once read a short story for English called "Lamb to Slaughter" or something in which a meek housewife kills her husband by hitting him over the head with a frozen leg of lamb. Coincidence?

In other words: you are a blessing to the fanfiction world. I have enjoyed this chapter very much. Also, the title of this story is utter perfection.

Absolutely hilarious :). And even though I'm reviewing this more than a decade later, I would love to read an AU where Haruka and Usagi run off to America (and maybe Setsuna trying once again to stop this from happening).

I died. This was hilarious and masterful,

My favorite SM fanfic. Hilarious, and everyone in character (more or less). Complete with hygiene lesson at the end. Should have more readers and reviews - some people are missing out!

This story... my God.

Alas, reviewing a story over a decade old would seem to be a touch late to the game. In this case however, the story is so genuinely, cleverly funny that it would be churlish to not drop a bottle into the ocean just in case the author fishes it out.

And it is very funny. The footnotes especially; there is a touch of Prachett about them, what with them referencing narrative conventions. Alas, for FF net's terrible formatting system! My favourite, if I might venture, had to be the explanation of Crystal Detroit. After that footnote the story was coloured by a lingering sadness that Setsuna wasn't keen on a future of fast cars, large hair, and inexplicable rap. Regardless, the plot smoothly flows from point to point, leaving the reader laughing as the carnage unfolds.

Technically, it is a tightly written work. I am unsure if other reviewers have commented on the way in which this story references the future, ties into the past, and then weaves into the chronological “as we read” present – but it does and the control is superb. Each section builds from or into other sections, with an economy of prose to be envied. Nothing is purple or overdone.

I have read this several times, and it remains one of my favourite short-stories in any genre. Thank you for writing this, and leaving it here for others to enjoy.

Ps. I bet that Turkey was ridiculously delicious.

Bravo to your imagination!
That here is one hell of a story!
Absolutely loved it!

So funny! That is beautiful. I adored the info message at the end! More practical then many of the real ones.

That was the most rediculous most hilarious most in character crack fic I have ever read. Bravo!