Huh, here comes exalt, the annoying motherfuckers

This is a Spoiler Free review of the entire XCOM trillogy, so The Hades Contingency, The Atlas Protocol and The Advent Directive. (at the time when there are 65 chapters of the Advent Directive , up to Wills of Steel, Hearts of stone).

The trilogy, like Xabiar wrote on his bio is indeed a drastic and more deep representation of the conflict of humanity against the alien menace. But it is more than that. Also, in this review I will refer to the entire series as XT (Xabiar' Trilogy). The XT covers not only the military aspect of the conflict, but also the political, cultural aspects of the war as well as much much more. What I really liked is that the story got rid of many of the gamy-ish aspects of XCOM, like protecting satellites or XCOM being stuck with a single Skyranger. Additionally, the number of perspectives from the alien side of things explained why the aliens were so inept in the handling of the war.

Over the course of the series, it is well shown how the war is never pristine and that it means getting your hands dirty. I do expect that people who believe that you can win a war with your honor intact, won't be able to appreciate it fully, but oh well. What I will also say, is that while the XT is full of conflicting mindsets and beliefs, the series doesn't shove the “correct” ones at the readers' throats, even when it implies which are more efficient (because objectively they are)

A clear merit of XT is that every single of the characters is likeable, interesting and understandable in that we can see why they made the decisions they made. And truly this goes for members of the Internal Council, soldiers, aliens and supporting characters. This has been especially evident in the latest chapters and reflects the growing experience of the author.

As for the aliens, each species, race and culture is unique with their history, political situation often directly influencing decisions and events taking place. People who played ME trilogy will probably catch on some things rather quickly, but I assure you that it’s far from a blatant rip-off, more of a creative adaptation.

One of the more debatable things XT does is that Psions in it are much more powerful than in the games (I dislike making across universe comparisons, but I will say that even weaker Ethereals would give Sheev a run for his money). I say debatable, because I see why the decision was necessary (Explaining it here would be a significant spoiler, therefore it will go to the 2nd part of the review), however sometimes I feel as if it’s a bit too much. That's just a personal feeling though, as the psionic sequences are very finely written, and are one of the strong points of the series. Generally speaking, it’s not a flaw but any means.

Another virtue of the series is that it is fully consistent internally. If a certain piece of technology exists but is not used, there is an explanation (sometimes revealed after a while) why it is not being used. This works the other way around. The readers are aware what projects are requested, what weapons and technologies researched, and technology “appears” only after it was shown that it is in development.

One thing the series lacks, is a significant focus on the air combat aspect of the war, although I can understand why, it is the case. Generally, it’s better not to describe something you don’t know much about, than to do it wrongly, with a mistake in one of every three sentences. Additionally it would needlessly strain the already long chapters. Due to this, I don’t see it as a flaw.

What occasionally bothered me, in the Hades Contingency, was the slight ignorance on the politics in the Old World, typically displayed by the americans. This issue however, has disappeared over time. Talking about this topic though, I truly love how accurate the totally not Prime Minister Trudeau was shown.

The final thing I will touch upon is that the descriptions of battles are engaging and allow you to feel the chaos, the destruction and desperation of warfare. At least for me they allowed for the complete visualisation of the terrain positions occupied by both sides and the scale of the conflict. Additionally, events are supplemented by well placed and well dosed situational humour. The story can surprise you with numerous well executed plot twists and some …escalations

Were I to give the XT a general score, it would be a strong 9/10. Were I to compare it to a different works, I would say this is the Song of Ice and Fire of XCOM or even Soft Sci-Fi.

Overall, GREAT chapter. This was a good "down-time" scene; some quiet before the next storm, if you will. Really enjoyed how you've been getting more into the character details, which makes me feel good since that was one of my big suggestions.

The main thing I'd tweak is just "oomphing" some of the character details:
- Giving Bradford a bit more personality (if not in this chapter, then down the line)
- Vahlen analyzing the Commander's rationale more in their discussion in the Mess Hall
- Making full use of Luke's unique background to give him a more insightful, characterized background when talking to Mira.
- ...Love Shawn. He's great. 99.999% no complaints there.

...Yeah, that's kind it. Good character moments, solid writing, nice addition of political talk. ...Kudos. :)

I don't have too much to say on this chapter besides...I like it. I like Shawn A LOT for his sense of humor...which probably means he's going to die a horrible death. :/ Ugh...

I appreciate how Myra's really insensitive Israeli comment is getting appropriately addressed. (Bad move, Myra, bad move), but I will say that I think her actual POINTS are getting overshadowed a bit. It makes sense that people respond seriously and heatedly against the racism (yeah, go do that), but even a quick comment from Shawn like "Yeah, you have some good points. But you're not winning anyone over with your methods." would've been a nice way of making both arguments feel more validated.

As for Mira...I don't think she's getting challenged nearly as much as she should, but I also understand her very PRESENCE and background EXUDES a "Don't f*ck with me" aura that no one without nerves of steel would want to get close to. :P I do enjoy how her perspective impacts how we view the plot, and appreciate that the Commander has a more nuanced point of view than hers. Good contrasts and foils all around!

I am curious about Luke and Mira's dynamic. (Unless I'm getting my characters mixed up...which I might be...) we know Luke's background, and we can get a few implications why he might be sympathetic to Mira, but I am curious why he seems very naturally inclined towards her. Like, if he was just very angry with how insensitive Myra was, thus he feels like he owes Mira to listen more; if he is just the type to listen and learn rather than throw his opinions all around; or if he genuinely sympathizes with her (and if so, why?). All of these would be acceptable, but it's not quite clear yet WHICH it is. We may not have to know now, and that's fine, but if you wanted this to be clearer in the story, then you might want to make his reasoning a bit clearer. Again, IF that's what you intended.

Otherwise...solid chapter, and well done. :)

Wow…. This chapter….

Unlike my past train-of-thought reviews, I figured this one deserved a post-read review to synthesize everything.

When I first started reading this chapter (pre-Commander revelation), I thought there were a lot of “golden” criminals, in that Zhang, Luke, and the Commander all had some sort of criminal past, but they all had a code that kept them from being TOO risky. They’re not chaotic, wanton anti-villains (the antagonists), but more like anti-heroes (since we still root for them).

To be honest, I was getting a little disappointed by how “gentlemanly” our criminals were. Where’s the Blackwall from Dragon Age: Inquisition that really makes me question the idea of a second chance and redemption? Or the well-written!Thanos who does something terrible but for a good (depending on who you ask…) reason? It felt like we didn’t know enough about these people to really judge them. Yes, we heard they’ve done terrible things, but it seemed kind of glossed over, and the characters we get now seem pretty…reasonable.

AND THEN YOU DROPPED THE BOMB.

Ooooh, boy, the Commander. SOOOO glad you delivered! Had a good, long conversation about the Commander. And I’ll admit, there wasn’t really a right answer to his conflict with the Caliphates. No one was taking the problem seriously or even doing anything effective about it (which isn’t new to us in real life—look at North Korea). The Commander at least did SOMETHING effective—which is what his reputation is all about.

I can throw tons of stones at this, like how going about such atrocious methods would make people get riled up against the Commander, not the Caliphates, potentially make the Caliphates sympathizers and martyrs, and push away any moderates who might’ve helped if he’d gone about through more peaceful means. BUT while I can throw as many stones as I want, that’s not really valid if I can’t think of a better solution.

I could easily say that he shouldn’t kill innocent people or FREAKING CRUCIFY CHILDREN. But he wasn’t fighting to beat the Caliphates, he was fighting to MAKE SURE THEY NEVER FOUGHT AGAIN. Direct combat would’ve been dragged out as the resistance just kept rising up and rebuilding.

I could say that he could’ve blocked all their resources and starved them out. But terrorists usually use guerilla warfare, and they would’ve just stolen from the innocent people who DID have supplies, causing lots of causalities.

I could say that he could’ve gone through more diplomatic means. But clearly, that wasn’t efficient since nothing was getting done through all the politics and talking before. There was all talk, no bite.

And I HATE and LOVE how complicated this argument is, for all these reasons. There ISN’T an easy answer. Ideally, the Commander could’ve treated the root of the problem rather than the symptoms. People convert to terrorism because of bigoted beliefs, desperation for resources and power, yada yada, so instead he could’ve provided protection and resources for innocent people before they reach that point so there’s no need to convert to terrorism, and the terrorist organizations could die out. Of course, this potential is a lot slower and people will still die, and it’s far easier to propose a better solution after the fact than in the moment.

In any case, this is all to say that I appreciate your thought-provoking argument! I was hoping for it, and you delivered!

Onto other matters:

Zhang: Right now, I think he’s more a…symbol than a character. In my mind, he represents the Commander’s belief/conflict right now of whether a tried and true war criminal could still be trusted if they genuinely defect. I was thinking that besides some light background stuff, we don’t really know him yet. We know he did some terrible crimes and a few were listed, but we don’t really have the context or information to judge him: what drove him to make the decisions he made, if they were for good reasons or not, and if he has his own code of honor that keeps him at least a little more redeemable like the Commander. We don’t have HIS story, or what type of person he really is. Which, in this case, is actually a good thing. I was wondering if more information about him should’ve been given so we can understand where he’s coming from, but…I don’t think so, actually. We’re right along with the Commander and his gang, questioning if we can really trust him (or anyone like him—ala, why he’s more a symbol than a character right now) with the limited information we have.

Based on his conversation with Abby, I’m willing to bet that Zhang is one of the first to catch onto who the Commander really is.

Mira and Myra’s scene: I’ll admit, I get Mira’s point that the Commander at least did something…but she’s also very hypocritical. She’s (rightly) destroyed by the fact her friends and family were brutally killed…but when other innocents were killed—oh, but that’s for the greater good, of course, and it’s not like anyone has suffered as much pain as she has. I think she’s at the point where she’s in so much pain she can’t imagine the pain of others anymore; just hate and anger. I understand it and it makes her a realistic character, but uggggggghhhhhhh, that mindset….

(Also, I feel like there’s a joke there about the Myra/Mira name similarities and their vastly different opinions.)

And getting some shippy vibes from Vahlen. Where’d those come from?

This was great. Seriously, that was comparable to Tom Clancy. The only thing, besides spelling, that I thought you could improve on was the character of the silent sniper, whom I felt should have remained separate from the commander; I saw the reveal from a mile away, and wanted the mystique of smiley to remain intact. If you wanted to stick with your present reveal, then I think you both should have lead into it over a longer period of time more slowly, and not shown your hand by having the commander comment mentally on how great of a sniper he was in front of Shen. I further want to commend you on how awesome your character deaths were handled - mature and kept me on my toes, I only saw Luke and a rookie or two coming - but I wish Van Doorn was fleshed out a tad more and didn't join the five man band; his character is so tied to NATO that I personally would have him remain in that capacity as a recruiter, european care commander, or military support provider, in addition to his tactical role, and thus he could be in the story almost as much, while staying more true to his character and more tied to the council, opening up the narrative in that direction. All it would take is a little creative writing, e.j. he could be in charge of the perimeter around the battleship.

(Too lazy to log in)
Not a lot of deep analysis in this review; just some thoughts. :)

“He was clearly of Chinese origin.” This is more me being amused than an actual edit, but being Asian myself, I’m not sure I could tell someone who’s Chinese from any other Asian ethnicity, unless they’re wearing the traditional attire or something.

Huh, well-played, Speaker. Turning around and making Zhang face justice is unexpected, but much appreciated. Smart. (Now let’s see if they actually follow up on that…) I do find it odd that the Commander thinks “Using someone like that and then betraying them was incredibly cold and more in line with something he would do rather than the Council,” only to then outline why he wouldn’t betray someone who is helping him. Although, I suppose “using” doesn’t necessarily mean they’re “helping” you voluntarily...

That aside, I’m curious about the Commander’s decision. His decisions about Zhang seems absolute: if he has the device keep him; if he doesn’t, to the Council he goes. But I think the more moderated response would be if he has the device AND continues to prove useful and not a threat. But that might be implied.

Huh, I wonder why Simon’s so easy to forget. It is a well-known name, but come to think of it, I haven’t actually met any Simons in real life…

Also, the way the Commander suddenly interjects during conversations reminds me of Big Brother…

Something cool I noticed about your writing is you use an implied “I” a lot with your character perspectives. For example, instead of saying “Abby thought one day she’d be able to keep her balance…” you jumped straight into “One day she’d be able to keep her balance…”. Using the implied “I” helps tighten your writing and make your charater’s POV more immersive. So…thumbs up! Nice writing technique!

I’m curious about this Zhang fellow. If he’s like the Commander—a criminal with a code—or is less “refined” than that.

I’ve only finished one playthrough of XCOM 2 with a friend, but I liked how this battle especially felt like it could’ve come straight from the game. As far as I know, you have all the mechanics and enemy/soldier characteristics in there, so it’s a nice touch. It feels like you really know the game, even though your story is your own.

Mecca is 100% a military target mhm

Didn’t have a lot to say in the last chapter except…you’re going to kill all the nice characters I like, won’t you? :P Well done, friend, well done.

That aside, I liked the Commander’s thought experiment of how he’d imagine the aliens taking over the world. Makes sense to me. Realllllly glad he’s on our side…technically.

Welp…Patricia’s reaction to Paige’s is a gut-punch. Dang, three deaths right in a row. Mira has some good points that Patricia handled herself well after the deaths, though. It is interesting to see Patricia fight back a little on Mira’s point that friends are a weakness, since she was just thinking that it might not be worth to have friends if had to go through this pain every time one dies. …But I’m not sure how long that mindset will last. I wonder if Patricia will be one of the soldiers who undergo XCOM’s bio-modifications.

I was wondering if we’d see Patricia and the Commander interact one-on-one again. Glad you delivered. The scene itself is just…good, too. Feels real and human. Also appreciate that talking through what you’re feeling was a validated treatment for grief. It’s also interesting to see how the other soldier’s death hit her in a different way than Paige’s, and thus she has to deal with it differently.

I feel like there’s a little inconsistency with this rather…soft and light Commander we see with Patricia and his normally stern and utilitarian self, but I think that’s because you’re showing his professional side vs. his personal side. It makes sense; he must compartmentalize as the leader, and not every death will affect him because it’s not personal to him the way that Patricia losing her best friend is to her. That, and he knew this was a time that Patricia needed some help. He’s a good, nuanced character. He’s still a stern, strong leader, but he doesn’t always have a stick up his rear. What he said about friendships is…surprisingly wholesome coming from a character like him, and nuanced in how he said he understands why Mira believes what she does, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he agrees with her. Glad you looked at both sides on the whole friendship-problem. I feel like there’s a twinge of manipulatives, though, since as soon as he’s back by himself he’s calculating how Patricia will recover and build up their forces more, but…again, leader. He’s a complicated character, and that’s appreciated. Not fully good, but not really bad, either.

(And I’ll admit, hearing Patricia talk about Paige in past-tense…ugh, that hurts, a little. Good for her healing process, but still…ugh, the feels).

Ha, that’s neat. If the aliens are genetic clones to each other, than a single disease could wipe them out. Likely too simple to work perfectly as a panacea, but the idea is neat. Trouble is making sure it doesn’t backfire…

The Speaker is an interesting side character…. Wonder what his take is on everything…

(Too lazy to log in)

Reading this over the week again, so apologies if this is scattered.

I like that the Commander is taking that green goop stuff seriously. Continuity! Gotta love those little details.

Luke with the Commander was a good scene. Very tense. Luke clearly has a past, but it’s interesting to see the perspective it’s given him, like how he sized up the Commander. I do like how he was taken aback by the brutal honesty the Commander had given regarding Abe’s death. Luke also got a lot more depth in this scene. After reading this chapter and the next, I think he might’ve come on a little strong in the pre-mission scene, but after that and this scene with the Commander showed more nuance. I appreciate that he wasn’t all vengeance-gung-ho, but truthful and pretty mature about it all. I also appreciated that you kept the mystery about his background going long enough for it to be an interesting aspect, but didn’t drag it out unnecessarily. I know there’s more to say here, but….I just liked that scene a lot. Strong, tight dialogue, good characterization, well-written. Just… good. I do find Luke’s unusual criminal sentence a little odd, though. 30 years in prison or 1 year with XCOM with a death sentence. I’m not overly surprised since that seems like something that could happen for a bigger criminal, but…it still seems a bit much for one guy and one murder. But again: China, Chinese ambassador’s son, and an “idio-FLAWED justice system”-(Ha, nice line.)—and the absurdity is the point. I’m more curious how China pulled off that unusual sentence.

Just as a side note, but the Commander’s belief about people who don’t fear death don’t live long is interesting to me. This is more a thought experiment than a comment on your story, but I get that as a military guy who’s seen a lot of soldiers like Abe (still in the “immortality of youth” phase) that would be true, but I feel like some people also come to terms with death and aren’t afraid of dying, and just make the most of the life they have. (Truth be told, I’m not one of those people, but I’ve heard from others). Again, not really a comment on the story, just a thought experiment it inspired.

Just a smidge proud that I recognized the Greek deities. Thank you, Percy Jackson.

Also neat to note how early you started on your supplementary materials.

Luke, Patricia, and the Commander… While I like each character enough individually, and they have the skill to back up their talk, it is getting on my nerves that a lot of the writing takes on the perspectives of people who think they’re better than everyone else, pretty much explicitly stated:

Luke: [He smiled underneath the helmet. People with her outlook amused him. “Most people talk too much. You tend to learn more by listening before opening your mouth.”]

Patricia: [She raised her eyebrow. Well, well, an intelligent human.] (Plus, her introduction how many chapters back when she was complaining to Paige about how not enough people used their brains.)

The Commander: [Uninformed, idealistic, civilians.]

I know that these characters likely come from backgrounds that warrant these points of views, and they seem reasonable when you look at the small picture. The Commander is a war criminal who is known for being cut-throat and logical, Patricia is as high-ranking as she is for a reason…don’t know enough about Luke’s background yet since this is his intro chapter, I believe, but judging on his ability to keep a level head during that fight, I’m assuming he can back up his talk. Again, these characters are good individually and I enjoy reading about them, but the fact that three major POV characters in two chapters alone (that I’m citing right now; I also sensed this in the past chapters, but I haven’t read those in awhile) all emit a holier-than-thou air suggests a trend. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want them to NOT be assertive or have no opinions or anything (again, they are good characters), but I think a bit more subtlety would be appreciated. I am not too bothered by this since I know that this is an earlier chapter and Ash told me it gets better, but thought I’d point that out for future reference.

Now for the fun side, that was an interesting battle. Reading that from Luke’s perspective really felt unnerving as he played a sitting duck while his life is in someone else’s hands. The suspense! It also did a good job showing his character, too. He’s calm and brave, but as he pointed out, in the way that someone who’s on death’s door would be. His story makes me curious to find out more.

Dear Abe…this is why you DON’T MESS WITH OVERWATCH. (I’m suddenly glad I didn’t add him to my character guide…)

Neat after-action report. Very nice official touch.

I’ve been reading this over the span of several days, so my apologies if my review comes off like one rambling train of thought…because it somewhat is…

The Commander is interesting. I still think he’s a little over-done in trying to appear as a “cool” character, but it still works. I do like him as a character, since he is direct and level-headed, and treats the people under him very well. I get his strategies, even if I don’t always agree. I find it interesting that The Commander in the stories doesn't look at politicians very favorably. Fair, a lot of people don't, and often for good reason, but I’m curious on what the tone will be on politicians in general throughout the series (rhetorical question; I’ll read to find out.)

Although…I really hope Bradford doesn’t die. I like him… … (which totally means he’s going to die….)

I appreciate how you analyze both sides of an argument, whether it’s The Commander and Bradford deciding where to put a satellite or Shen and Vahlen debating what to build. You don’t use strong-arm arguments; they’re fairly reasonable and well-balanced, showing that you’ve given both sides thought. Appreciated.

It might be me just reading this wrong, but I feel like Bradford and Shen’s stances on violence and drastic measures get flip-flopped a bit. For instance, Bradford is against risking individual soldiers for the long-term plan of finding out more about the aliens while Shen agrees with it, but then Shen disagrees with The Commander’s worst-case contingencies while Bradford says that’s standard in the military…but he was just against risking individual soldiers for the long-term plan? To be fair, Bradford does imply in the next line that he’ll be happy to mitigate the Commander’s uber-extreme plans via the Internal Council, so his acquiescence sounds more reasonable in this conversation.

That ending with Patricia...priceless...

In general, I’m impressed with the quality of your writing. It’s very direct, reads easily, captures what you want to, and doesn’t have much wasted space. Outside of a few really minor typos, the only thing I’d suggest is that some of the writing could be tightened by omitting a few times you “tell” more than you necessarily need. For example, in the paragraph: “She shook her head. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t leaving until she could barely stand” you could probably omit the last sentence “All her emotions of guilt, sadness and anger would stay bottled up and she knew that if she kept them, she would snap” since we’ve already gotten the gist that her work-out sessions are her emotional outlets. Really like your battle/action scenes, though! They’re described vividly, and are very…precise in their actions. I have to write a lot of battles for my own stories…but am honestly not very good at them…so I admire writers who are.

Also, if you haven’t already, you really should read World War Z… I think you'd like the strategies, characterization, and worldbuilding involved.

Mira "No Skin Off My Nose" Vauner

N.

To be honest, I would think top secret force against fighting aliens would draw on proven professionals that know how to fight far better than you or I ever could conceive. Marksmanship would be drilled into soldiers so much that they would be capable of taking shots through muscle memory alone. However I’m at the start of this fanfic, plus, in-game...the soldiers leave a lot to be desired.