Whoa that was an amazing plot twist. Arya has blood on her hands now and the characters are all given a few more sides and honestly? I'm super excited to see what happens next. Maybe Jun was the one who was nervous and killed Cantibel. :0

Wonder who Lazward is talking about. Arya using a bow? Gotta admit I'm surprised by that. She's also given a reason to want to fight the Hosidans. Will wait for the next one.

I had to restrain myself from laughing the whole time because Jun's and Ayra's sass is priceless. I particularly like the comments about Subaki having pants from Jun.
I'm really feeling the Marx-Ayra ship vibe.
I sense drama once Jun and Ayra meet up, and also, don't kill off Elise! She's so precious and cute...
This is still a great story and Jun's addition just made it greater.
Ah, Leo, the adorable insecure husband

This is simply amazing. Your writing style is great and it just draws you in. You can picture the scenes vividly in your mind and the details aren't too much. You just feel Erin's personality with each sentence, and I look forward to seeing more. Also, what's Garon playing at?
Oo, how about Xander and Erin? ;)

Hmm, given that there are two "Corrins" (for simplicity, I'm just going to use that name when speaking of the game generically or the character in general in terms of the game), *and* two SIs all on opposite sides, I'm going to assume that you're probably going to be taking this little tale off into its own fourth path, as it were, (that I'm going to assume will have more than a few similarities to Revelation, like both sides eventually putting aside the conflict and working together to stop the *true* threat) that will be taking elements from Conquest, Birthright, and Revelation. You've got a pretty good start so far, I'm looking forward to seeing more :D

Curious and curious. This story is getting interesting the more I read it. Thought I'm curious what route you are doing. Thought it was Conquest, now I ain't so sure. Curious how those supports go. All I know about Aqua and Lazward's support is she turns him down for "tea" Though Solei with Aqua's mother is hilarous. And how am I not surprised that's who your shipping with Luna. Also the fact with the children, gotta admit that would make sense. From a story point they don't really make sense.

Ooooooooh. I really like this idea. I'm eager to see more, though I think I'll hold off on pairings for a bit, till I get a sense of "Arya's" personality.

Hey this is awesome...
Subaki x Selene please...Its a beautiful ship

its nice to see a out-of-norm SI fic u
don't find many of those and the
ones u do are bad quality the good
ones are usually dropped hope u
don't do the same

I don't often read self-insert fanfictions. I find that they're not my cup of tea. But I was admittedly curious about this one. The summary drew me in, and I was not disappointed. I'm rather pleased with this entire chapter.

The beginning of the chapter starts off with your character's narrative. Your character is witty, sarcastic, with a brutal temper, and fluctuating luck. She has no problem with mouthing off and almost getting herself caught multiple times. But she's daring, as proven when she mouths off to the guards who are chasing her, and when she calls Xander an asshole, which admittedly had me giggling. She doesn't take crap from anyone, but she's also flawed, making her balanced. I like that in a character, and you've conveyed her personality really well, without even needing to give us a direct description.

She's also kind of good at making split-second choices, as shown when she tells Garon that she can see into the future. She took a risk, purely because there was nothing else that she could really do, and it seemed to have paid of.

The confrontation between Hoshido and Nohr, and the two siblings, was actually quite emotional. It seemed to focus more on Kamui, and the Nohrian siblings. There was no "right" option for Corrin or Kamui to chose. It was one family over the other. No matter who they chose, they would end up being dissatisfied. Which isn't really a problem. I hope to see more of the Hoshidans in the future. But for now, we're getting a Nohrian description. I particularly liked how you described the scenery in the beginning of the chapter, describing it as dark and dreary, as though it's always nighttime.

I really love the last scene of this chapter. Because it's kind of hilarious. You're able to write all of the canon characters really well, and you manage to capture how irritating Garon's smugness can be. Arya loses her temper quite often, it appears. She has an element of badassery to her that's believable purely because of how you balance her out with her personality flaws. She's so utterly DONE with everything happening around her.

At the very same time, I'm wondering what Garon is actually up to. He had been toying with her before, using the guards. And now he seems to act as though he believes her story. I'm honestly quite scared for her. Even the siblings walk on eggshells around Garon, and I'm not sure if Alva can actually do that with Garon, because of how quickly she snaps at others. That being said, I'm kind of eager to see how she acts around other characters. Her frank attitude is really amusing, so I wonder how she'll react if Lazward asks her out for tea or something.

Your spelling and grammar is really up to snuff. I didn't really see any notable, glaring mistakes that need to be addressed. Overall, this has a lot of promise and I am really attached to the main character already, because she's so well-written. Keep on writing!

Arya wonder where you got from? Delphi, are you going Greek for this one. L

Gotta wonder if you are mixing japanese names for all of them or just the two Kamuis. Will says this seems interesting, I'm wondering where it will go here.

YOOOOO TWO OF MY FAV AUTHORS ARE DOING FATES FICS? HOLY SHIT YESSSSSS!