Author don’t listen to dawnscarlet19010 your story is amazing and the fact that you actually made something and put so much effort into it is awesome I’ve read this story before and I’m reading it again and can I just say that I love it sooooo much.

The vampire conversation at the beginning of this chapter utterly ruined this story for me. I'm sorry, but just no. Why would you even add that? The Cullens would not take that well, and Ella's entire opinion on the matter was clearly you just setting the stage, again in a ridiculously dramatic and unnecessary way. Peace out.

Edward's really into classical music. Fight Song is not his style at all. Not to mention the song only came out way after Twilight, which takes place 15 years ago in 2005-2006. I was expecting her to play Clair de Lune or something, not a pop song. Honestly.

Ella was actually quite mean with her responses to Jessica, Lauren and Mike. If she were really the bigger person, she'd have just brushed them off. I honestly dislike the drama aspect you have going on. Turning Jessica and Lauren into villains when they'd been nothing but petty girls in canon. Too many fics overdo this. Ella didn't seem strong for standing up to them, she seemed weak for letting them get such a long and heartfelt response out of her, in my opinion. Also, Jessica, Lauren and Mike in canon would NEVER have the guts to approach the Cullen table and declare that they would be better friends than someone and start a confrontation like that. I enjoy parts of your story, but other things not so much. Your OC lacks true depth. You go to a lot of effort to make her look deep, which the art, music and troubled past, but the inner monologue is very surface.

you don't need to apologise for posting late. it's your story and you have your own life and things going on. we can wait a little longer. try not to worry about it.

92. 92. Torn ' then The Phoenix coven I KILLED Them aall ate blod as all of both then assaninatd then Took their lives tiurned with the Berst friends feding good Ella Dawn yelled to the Inthe days of the Holy Bible then Killijg her drinking her blod was with child good Ella you are Dead Dawn BITE Her then My screams then Venom was spreading then too late KKilling her with them then too late then too soon then Became a Vampire Slayer then too late RAeached to my heart stoppd then then the Crowd Aro Curify Curfiy her! Killed as all good then too late Elenaor guity of crimes death then screamig then Assaulted then by abusing ten then thenin a feeding frezy then then too late Mauled to death then then then the venom was spreading then then the Seer had a vision of my death was transtioning into one was too late was changed then too late then Caused one of the Guards to kidnap her my sister Feeding her too much wholliest then then turned with them Maulled too late then Drained of blood then us twins with best frien new one we serve you urgh my head so they then too late Blacking out then then my now Falkor's red eyes so hers with theirs Were paler then Motionles wasin fact hybrids were newborns Torn freely good they now serve us then too late Then was too late our minds were gone soulless like therirs then it was too late mermeories were erased What we do We join Bind us lead on Dawn to lives then then then Wewelcome them with ourselves they are turned then too Smashed were with them them then were With violent pasts and histories of the change then linked too late then were Immortal then too late he Eight pleaded they are bound to her then Popped with us/them then then Lost from use the corpses then us/they fled them lost from from here the Carnivorous selves with his's corpses nuked with us/they good they are deceased with three then myself suffered bitter immortality with her without memories hairs grew back were Anmesiac Paler smashed then lost from here with hers without mercy Alice who did to her the crowd drained from her/then oh my god then too late chained then the trial started Purplish flames then brought them myself struggled of thirst so herself with themselves Wiped out then lost from here then was unwell with her oh my god they are dying good Executed then then then brought there then lost the ablity to age then or to die then was suffering first death then Pierced from here had implanted kids were hurting us wit theirs bitten freely followed then With both with both siblings smashed brought them then never was human brought there then were destroyed now they declared us/they were not fit to live then Motionless caused a chain reaction the cause of death natural causes delivered to Volterra, Italy then then were destroyed now the relearning the training after death and slaying Alice Bella is a hybrid so they what we do Split from Forks Wiped freely then brought there then lost from here hair was grown back then us/they were Immortal myself was not human so herself so they were Immortal it was too late the damages to our lives and health Pierced Freely then torn from here then Cursed to be Cold Ones into true death brought them good no longer alive they are dead then too late Extinct now we were unable to be killed off from too much many mostly as all of animals very far as all feeding too far much hen caused us/they to nuke then then too late bodies Bloated then Brought there then skinned them then us/they were unable be elderly anymore then Alice they were ill with child oh my god they lost from here No thank you we are not mortal it was too late Frozen solid then Crunched freely then a Alien increase of strength and speed and beyond fast better as before then blew freely then both were extinct then caused us to be eternal now never changed or die as well with them now now bloated corpses As all of guards stolen blew freely stole the looks bound here by now they used the three then were more no longer alive blew of Fairy blood was deadliest mixed with Vampire venom able to live longer too late were Immortal God heed thy prayer We are Shadowhunters please mark us with this then a mark appeared then suddenly my own hand glowing Spreading holographic wings from the bodysuit with a Glorious but more radiant whirling Halos from homes packed books/Lap tops onto backpacks Held a Sword so herself with them Alice they been marked by who him the most high created us we are Neplim are Immortal good god your wings are monstrous yikes we are with Holy Angel Blood can you see them too late too late newspapers raged of us were in fact powerful beings my voice echoed since the dawn of creation we were sent from Heaven to hunt Downworlders Smashed then lost from brought there good then Extinct from here myself praying forgiveness and so my sister was religious so they were blessed with courage good heavens they never age no they were not mortal now it was 2019-2383.

I loved this story. But after Ella’s tragic “which weren’t so tragic” she turned into a Band not the good kind, if there is such a thing as good Kind.
I understand that she is meant to be stronger, overcome the test and tribulations, but come on. She is just plain rude, conceded and nasty.

Haven't commented on this at all but I love it and I think my favorite part is how much character you gave to Jasper. In the movies and the books he didn't have much personality. He had a little bit but it was never enough so thank you.

I really liked this first chapter and I can't stop picturing Ella as Lily James!

Just a weird thought I always had when reading the Twilight book series...if I was Bella, I would of been extremely self conscious about "going to the bathroom" around Edward and the Cullens, lol. Sorry, I know this comment has nothing to do with the story, but I wonder if Ella feels the same way?

Aww they’re engaged!

& ughhh who cares if he’s OOC. I feel like that’s the point of FanFiction sometimes taking characters and making them who you want them to be. FanFiction would be boring if everything just stayed the same. Ignore the haters!

I think what the reviewer from chapter eighty-seven meant when she/he said that Edward was acting out of character is that he wasn't acting like the Edward we all know when dealing with that Rachel girl. He is a mind reader, so he would of known of her intentions towards him. It just didn't seem to be something book Edward would do.

Way to go, Edward Congrats Edward and Ella, keep up the good work.

Glad you made it realistic. And showed that they struggle but are better because of it!

I like your story so far. The characters are believable and I like how you made Tyler a deeper character than he was in the books. Your explanation of Renee having PTSD doesn’t make any sense unless it was a seriously traumatic birth. It’s more likely that she has untreated postpartum depression, whose symptoms can include anger and a difficulty in bonding with the baby. Just a thought, it might make more sense if you change Renee’s condition unless you have a believable reason for using PTSD.