Bloody Update mate please this is the only story that i actually find myself caring about for Shiki

Idk why but I a am getting Sasuke vibes

Zd

This is okay but the previous one was better it showed better and you also helped nao in the other story

I like the concept and your grammar and spelling are solid, but to be honest the writing leaves a bit to be desired.

The changed perspective flashback chapter came to mind immediately. It was seemingly supposed to add weight and understanding to megumi's death and sora's feelings, but it was a bit flawed. For starts the majority of it was literally the same scene. There was internal dialogue, but there was hardly enough to justify the space and time taken up. In addition this while it did help characterize two characters that should have happened way sooner. In fact you should have included the internal dialogue in the original.

I'm a fan of megumi and rooted for her until she was torn to pieces, but writing her as an annoying asshole, but saying shes just lonely does not make her likeable. I have a friend irl thats like that and everyone in my group of friends including myself dislikes them, but still tolerates them because we understand. Sora while a bit too friendly imo does the same and thats good from a writing perspective. The thing thats not good is that we don't really get anything from the other side of the coin. Sora may understand and like her, but it takes a bit more for the reader to. The villagers making comments was great, but it would have been even better to see the comments get to her separate from Sora.

Speaking of Sora I'm not a big fan of him as a character. He's an upset teen who has gotten stepped on by life and lashes out at the world! But he's taken the teen angst a but too far to the point of being samey and uninteresting. So many chances for him to develop as a character and through it all he has come out the same. Life looking up for him finally with a girlfriend who he is growing attached to, losing said girlfriend, finding out hes dead, being forced to kill, finding out his girlfriend is not dead.

Theres been a few times when he had seemingly displayed character growth like when he was seemingly enjoying yoshie's company and with megumi back maybe things would be looking up for him. Going to the doctor to explain things had such promise for him to calm down and talk things out and yet he did not.

Now do I think the story is offensively bad? No of course not I just read through it all and wrote a giant essay on my issues with it. In fact I enjoyed it.

Sora's relationship with megumi is well written albeit one sided in the readers understanding of the emotions involved and their dynamic could get much more interesting given their current state of being. The friendship with yoshie could add some moral conflict for Sora when he must overcome his hatred towards the shiki and trust that they truly do want to be a family, or give into his hatred and have to go against yoshie.

I think the story has potential and I hope you continue it.

I finished reading it and it really good but can you continue making more chapters.

Veri n1c32DAst0riIw

it's good but the previous one was better it showed better

hay man pleas update and could you check out my story its called megumis new love and tell me what you thank peace out

Love it man it is a amazing story and do you think you could get your friend to continue the story the giver please and keep up the go work you a amazing writer shiki is my favorite anime next to Tokyo ghoul ,Attck on Titan and Wolf's rain so writing this I love it and I believe in you thank you and check out my YouTube channel it's called husband of megumi shimizu 2000

That was amazing please keep writing this story you are a great writer I haven't seen a story this good since alpha and omega Humphrey and his life so keep it up

this story so far is freaking amazing just finish watching shiki again and everytime i finish watching i end up back to this story. i loved that sora didnt just fall in love with megumi just by looking at her but instead found her annoying in the beginning then slowly started to see the reason why she acts the way she acts and starts to fall for her. i cant wait for more of sora and megumi moments in the future. you know after watching shiki for the fifth time i just cant be mad at neither the humans or the shiki. both sides just trying to survive and live. update soon

Sorry to post this again but my login tapped out before posting this under my own identity

I've got to say, beautiful work! You did a great job establishing the chemistry between Sora and Megumi.

Early this week I finished watching Shiki (minus the two OVA interquels) and it left me deeply depressed and enlightened on a higher level at how humans can easily cave into violent insanity en masse like a pack of rabid dogs when somebody stirs the pot and next to no one has the moral high-ground, only survival of the fittest. But what really tore my heart out was the excessively cruel death of Megumi Shimizu, my favorite character.

Like Stephen King's "Carrie," Megumi is proof of how the teenage soul is an unstable typhoon of emotions as much as it is fragile to verbal bullying, making physical wounds look redundant. Megumi like any teenager wants to be loved and accepted for who she is by the in-crowd, but the callous, town hicks (dare I say dicks) are so content being in a culturally stagnant, time zone, they give her nothing but flak for her out of place style that is way past their time. Its ironic and poignant when you realize that Megumi would be more at home in a an urban high school strutting down the hallways, stealing all the attention from the male population, and earning jealous glares from the girls.

The fact that you went in depth at how hurt Megumi is by the the yokels making fun of her gothic lolita fashion more than the anime let on shows just why she is my favorite character, if not the most well-written and realistic. Megumi is an emotional teenager suffering from rejection and ridicule not from her peers but by adults who are more gossip-happy and empathy-deficient than their teenage counterparts. After being turned into a Shiki her life is much worse with her having to suck up to her vampire masters (pun not intended) and It explains why she did what she did post-vampirism. What better catharsis than paying back the people who mocked you indiscriminately. It also made her easy to get played like a flute by Tatsumi. Once the Shiki are all but overthrown she finally decides too late to make her getaway. In the end she died a bitter, tortured soul, literally and emotionally crushed like her dreams.

I'm ever grateful to you for helping bandage the wounds I felt from watching Shiki.
All those Megumi haters who can't understand or relate to her situation from their teen years can stake themselves in shame for all I care.

Beautiful work! You did a great job establishing the chemistry between Sora and Megumi.

Early this week I finished watching Shiki (minus the two OVA interquels) and it left me deeply depressed and enlightened on a higher level at how humans can easily cave into violent insanity en masse like a pack of rabid dogs when somebody stirs the pot and next to no one has the moral high-ground, only survival of the fittest. But what really tore my heart out was the excessively cruel death of Megumi Shimizu, my favorite character.

Like Stephen King's "Carrie," Megumi is proof of how the teenage soul is an unstable typhoon of emotions as much as it is fragile to verbal bullying, making physical wounds look redundant. Megumi like any teenager wants to be loved and accepted for who she is by the in-crowd, but the callous, town hicks (dare I say dicks) are so content being in a culturally stagnant, time zone, they give her nothing but flak for her out of place style that is way past their time. Its ironic and poignant when you realize that Megumi would be more at home in a an urban high school strutting down the hallways, stealing all the attention from the male population, and earning jealous glares from the girls.

The fact that you went in depth at how hurt Megumi is by the the yokels making fun of her gothic lolita fashion more than the anime let on shows just why she is my favorite character, if not the most well-written and realistic. Megumi is an emotional teenager suffering from rejection and ridicule not from her peers but by adults who are more gossip-happy and empathy-deficient than their teenage counterparts. After being turned into a Shiki her life is much worse with her having to suck up to her vampire masters (pun not intended) and It explains why she did what she did post-vampirism. What better catharsis than paying back the people who mocked you indiscriminately. It also made her easy to get played like a flute by Tatsumi. Once the Shiki are all but overthrown she finally decides too late to make her getaway. In the end she died a bitter, tortured soul, literally and emotionally crushed like her dreams.

I'm ever grateful to you for helping bandage the wounds I felt from watching Shiki.
All those Megumi haters who can't understand or relate to her situation from their teen years can stake themselves in shame for all I care.

Here I was hoping he would come to support the idea of the vampire settlement