GG Nate! I don't have anything else to say. Thanks for giving these characters life.

Nate's so... Pathetic...

I'm in this story, and I don't like it. You will be hearing from my lawyers shortly.

Loved the story, loved the lemons. Hope that the sequel's just as hot and just as fun to read.

My favorite part of this fic was chapter four where Nate and Hana are just clowning around the apartment - teasing one another, playing jokes and casually pleasuring each other in the hot tub. It's just two teens goofing around and testing the boundaries of their relationship but it provided such a fun intimacy that I thought was even steamier than the actual bedroom scenes.

Characterization is okay. Nate is your standard blank slate romantic lead with no defining characteristics or traits besides his obsession with DVa. I get the sense his passion is supposed to be played for laughs in the opening chapters - wall to wall DVa merchandise, the outlandish bot-schemes he concocts to game the system - but I found him way too obsessive to brush off as a "good-natured fan". I would have enjoyed learning more about Nate as a person, or at least seeing him interact with family, friends or fellow DVa fans. Having a sense of how he comes across to others would reassure me that he is "normal" and "pure-hearted" in his idolizing of DVa. For example, how does he react when chat members get rude or lewd towards his precious DVa? Does he shout them down? Report them? What do other members of the DVa fan-community think of Nate and his twelve-hour stream watches? Is he weird and abnormal or a positive community leader?

Anyway, in the end this is a sexy wish-fulfillment fic and it delivers on that end with lots of juicy scenes between Hana and Nate. You do have a talent for physical descriptions and it would be neat to see this skill applied to more detailed characters. Kudos!

standing ovation "clap clap clap clap clap"

Good ending, but fidget spinners would've made it one hundred percent better.

nice, but add fidget spinners

Loved the dialogue, it all flowed very naturally, I really felt like I was watching a movie instead of just reading a story. The intimacy displayed between Nate and Hana, regardless of scale, was very well-written and worked very well with the context of what was happening around them and the world beyond their bedroom. Lastly, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, I couldn't imagine a better ending to Nate & Hana's story. Great work, I'm curious to see if you have anything else written.

Interesting... very interesting. You kind of pulled me in and then lost me in the middle but the smut brought it back and the ending... huh. It's odd, because I genuinely like this story, but I'm not sure how to FEEL about it, ya know?
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to write this!

I just had a thought: what would have done if a girl had won?

fucking unbelievable, this was a great story!

I loved this story for a few reasons. Let's be brutally honest for a moment. Most of the people who filter by M and Romance aren't looking for a Twilight-esque fanfic. We're here for some...inspiration. However, a fanfic consisting of no story at all is hard to follow and is unappealing, at least to me. This story has enough story to draw me in without using so much that I'm bored, as well as being plausible enough for me to believe it. You gave characters personality so that I could connect with them and wrapped it up nicely.

Fantastic job, and keep it up!

I liked this story, My only qualm is that he used bots. I do not know why that tickled me in a funny way. Nonetheless it was a great one!

pretty good story, wouldnt mind a sequal

On behalf of the Red vs Blue community, I have but one thing to say.

Tucker: I know of a joystick she can play with. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!

Tex: Tucker she's only nineteen. you sick perv.

Tucker: Age is just a number baby.

Tex: And your grave would be just a hole in the ground.