This was absolutely fantastic. I've really gotten back into Threads of Fate lately, and Duke is a character I really enjoyed. Reading such a well put together backstory was a pleasure. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it. (Really enjoyed Kander too, nice OC. And was that a FF7 reference in there? Regardless, it was all gold.)

When I finally get around to playing this, I'm gonna be watching out for Duke. If I have to fight him in the game...Level-grinding shouldn't be too difficult. And he can fly?! Just because he read a book?! Well, I'm glad he's from a fictional world, because his confidence might shatter if he wasn't.

I liked how you did the training. Instead of just learning to fight, Duke learned other things too. It made me laugh when Kander kept changing Lesson Three.

Sorry for reviewing so late.

Oh this was just a barrel and a half of good times! It's great to see Duke's confidence grow, but even in the beginning when he's trying to figure out how he keeps getting beat up he's a likeable kid. There's a great dynamic between our two mains and they both have clearly defined personalitites. Especially early on in the training it is highly entertaining to see Duke try to figure out what Kander is getting at, i.e. hips are to distract bad guys? The lesson breakdown added a nice humorous flair especially with how many times the third lesson was revised.

I commend you on your fight scenes! There's energy and varied movement and you can understand what's going on. The progression is awesome as well. At the start, Duke can barely follow or explain how he's getting his keister handed to him, and by the end he's precisely naming techniques like an expositional side character! You also contain quite few tender moments along with the chuckle worthy ones, and it's just a rollicking adventure of character growth from start to finish. Way to make the power of positive thinking seem logical and achievable!

Hey CG,
Another fandom I need to research because my talented author friends make the characters come to life for me!
I really like the "lesson titles" dispersed throughout the story - lesson three in particular cracked me up.
"This is lesson three...no, wait! This is. Ugh, never mind, this one is lesson three." XD
I wouldn't say that you need to work on your climaxes, so much as the placement of said climaxes? I honestly couldn't tell if the climax was supposed to be when Duke started believing in himself, or when Duke and Kander fought to a standstill. But I did really appreciate the "Spreading Grand Wings" effect with Duke finally becoming an experienced fighter. Was that intentional on your part? :)
Final note - Kander is my favorite. I love how snarky she is.

"I'm going to take this week easy," he says, writing a 5K word entry. True, that's 3K words less, but...

...I seriously need to do something about my opening lines. Everyone else's are just packing so much punch! Huh, literally in your case...

"He reeled back [as] the fist connected with his face." (?) I mean, "at" works but seems a bit awkward in the flow...

"Sneezing up flakes of dried blood." What an awesome image! I definitely would have never thought of that one. Very excellent.

I'm really digging the lesson titles to separate the sequences. Especially the "revised" note on lesson three. Adds a great burst of humor into the mix.

Hm, the Lesson 8 transition feels a bit off. All the other sections seemed to flow into each other well, like a continuous scene. Sure, there's a sense of time skip with it, but I think Lesson 7 shows the passage of time well enough on its own. Maybe something with less commas, since those create pauses for the reader?

"...and watched spellbound [as] Kander mimicked the fluid movements..."

Good flow in this action, scene, CG. Even though you threw around a lot of attack names that I'm sure make much more sense to people who've played the game, it was easy to follow along with.

"My sister says [you're] a decent bodyguard..."

Ha, in the end, what matters most is that you can do it. Sounds very "I believe in the me that believes in myself!" Carry on that fighting spirit, Duke, I'm sure that it gets you far...

Again, another job well done, CG. You're making me want to push for higher word counts on these things, but I don't wanna inflate anything! Well, I haven't started my work on Week Three's prompt, so we'll see how that one goes. Maybe I'll try and mix things up a bit...?

In any event, you may be the third to post, but that just makes you the second to receive an Avi review! May this find you well, and I'll see you around in your endeavors,
-Avi

Hooray for Duke for not giving up on his dreams. ;)

Secondly, I thought the person Kander whom he met was actually Belle? You wrote up a great backstory. Maybe I'll keep an eye out for more of your stuff.