Where's Ben Tennyson?

you have a great story but your grammar needs work and you are repeating said to much there are other words you could have used there are even some sentences that you could have used to show the point of view or who may have been speaking through thought make a pause for them to respond

AGAIN: Straight punch FROM VILGAX NOT SURVIVABLE UNLESS you include Gwens

Anodite heritage, Please? It started plain bad BUT I do see SOME DEFINITE

improvements as you continue to develop the story HOWEVER

her knowing AND using KI energy should've taken MUCH longer then just

RIGHT OFF THE BAT!?

Do you at-least have an editor, Someone look over and correct ANY possible mistakes

including grammar errors?

If your doing this solo however then you WILL need to double check possibly even TRIPLE check

your chapter's BEFORE posting them 5% improvement with this one chapter

but you'll need 10 - 15% to get on my radar.

Hmmm...

Shouldn't it be (MANA) and (NOT KI)...at-least for Gwen,

and a literal punch to the face BY VILGAX...WOULD NOT BE SURVIVABLE AT ALL

unless he held back which he NEVER DOES although with Gwens anodite half...

I'm not entirely sure.

Absolute shit, SHIT

No mother with half a mind would let two teenagers stay in the same room

Great as usual.

HECK YEAH1 Bout time got Vegeta got knocked down a peg by a female. And to think,Bra isn't born yet.

Great as usual. So happy that DBZ is getting a female fighter. AS much as I love it as I said,it's pretty much a sausage-fest.

Great start. The DBZ universe could use a strong female role,since as much as I love it,it is pretty much a sausage-fest,as they say.