Ooh drama. I love it. Severus' apology is so genuine and honest and Evelyn not totally forgiving him is understandable. Sirius coming onto her a little and her rejecting him again makes sense. Her undying love for Severus despite what he'd done was a beautiful thing to see. Well done.

I like the character of Evelyn. I think Severus would act like this in this situation and I love the way you've written him. Hes very reassuring to Evelyn that this is alright, and makes sure she's alright with it as well. It's certainly not an ideal setting for a wedding, but it works. Well done.

Something you may want to watch is that not everyone has read Unwanted Affections, so they might be missing out on something. You may want to keep an eye on that in the future.
That said, I'm a little biased as I don't usually like or read OCs, but as far as those go Evelyn has one of those voices that stick with you. The ceremony here seems natural, not overly fluffy, and I like how Severus is softening.
However, this is a bit cliche, so you might want to work on getting the story across in a more refreshing tone.
You also had a couple of SPaG errors, but nothing major.
Reviewed for the Caesar's Palace Reviewathon.

This was so sweet. It might be a tad clichéd, but I never saw it done with a Severus pairing. And I can totally imagine him being a bit softer even he always had someone firmly in his corner.
I loved the explanation he gave to be allowed into Evelyn's parents' room, and how he forced out the 'please' even though it was the last thing he wanted to say.
And of course she's a fan of romantic gestures. Who isn't?
Overall, this was so sweet, even though the moment was ruined by him being summoned by Voldemort. But considering he's a spy, it was also very realistic.
Great job.

I have to admit that I was skeptical. I usually avoid reading stories about OCs; they just don't interest me, and since I haven't read Unwanted Affections, I feel like I might be at a disadvantage.
Even so, I found myself pleasantly surprised. Evelyn had a clear voice. You showed her emotions well, and made all of the characters, even Sirius somewhat sympathetic.
There were a few typos, but it wasn't anything too detracting.
And you explained pretty much everything, so I wasn't too lost despite not reading the original story.
It was also a great wedding, and a great way to tie up the story.

There were a few typos, but they do not overshadow your work. Evelyn is well developed for an OC. Severus surprising her was sweet and the urgency was well supported. The ceremony was natural, not fluffy. I think your characterization of Severus works. In this story, Lily is not his motivation. He feels indebted to Evelyn for his mistreatment of her and they were there for one another when they had no one else.

Wow, this was really heart-wrenching but I can really see James being like this about her being with Severus. He's a teensy bit OOC, but I understand it's hard to write canon-OC interactions, so it's perfectly okay. Just watch that in the future.
This also doesn't seem like a stand-alone one-shot. Maybe keep an eye on endings before submitting a chapter to a fanfave.
Overall, I wasn't really a fan of this, but I just think it needs a little work.

I like your OC, and I kind of want to punch James in the face. I don't actually think he would disown his sister though, in all honesty.
That aside, this is well written. I will say that I'm not sure this is a stand-alone one shot, so maybe watch for that in the future for the fanfaves :)

Again, I'm amazed at how you write Evelyn. I'll repeat myself saying it's one of the best OCs I've read.
That said, James felt quite a bit OoC. He might have troubles with Snape, but he's a loyal friend who would never leave his family like that. It's weird to see him in this light.

I felt sorry for Evelyn here, having been treated like that by her own brother especially once she's pregnant. I like the way you've portrayed her emotions throughout this fic and the way her thoughts are expressed. She seems to handle the situation as someone would. (My attempt at saying her characterisation is good).

I have to say that James is loyal to his friends and family so I can't see him going from being the overly protective big brother, to disowning her so easily over a choice his sister made. Especially since she's pregnant. If anything, I believe he'd be more protective in case he was right about Snape.

I remember reading a story from this collection before (last month perhaps? Or a Hogwarts challenge?) and I like how you've tied this story in with the previous because Lily went with her to get checked out and that's when she found out. You've been consistent through thes couple I've read with Evelyn's personality.

This was sad! I like how Evelyn defended Severus, even if she knew her brother would never approve. It shows she really loves Severus and would do anything for him.

I think you’ve created a good OC, she’s interesting and isn’t stereotypical.

Though your OC is perfect, I find James was a bit out of character. He is a really loyal person and though he definitely would be mad, I don’t think he would ever say to Evelyn that she isn’t his sister anymore.

This was so sad how James disowned his sister! I could see how much Evelyn was in love with Snape by the way she defended him, and I liked the details that she let James in on.

This was an interesting fic. The bond between siblings was shown nicely here, especially how James is protective of his sister. You also captured the rivalry and bitterness between James and Severus. I don't think they would ever be able to be cordial to one another.

I feel like James overreacted by saying Evelyn is no longer his sister. He is shown in canon to be fiercely loyal to those he cares about, so this felt highly OOC to me.

Another note is capitalization. Death Eater and You-Know-Who need to be capitalized.

All things aside, this is interesting. I'd really like to read more because you broke my heart here, and I need closure. :p

Hmm... Well, this sounds interesting. She repaired her relationship with her brother, yet her and Snape are still on bad terms? At least she has the good sense to acknowledge he's done bad stuff but she still loves him. And lol, Sirius, that poonhound. Not at all surprised at his slutiness.

This was a very sweet piece, actually. Seeing James freak out like this over the 'perfect' ring was adorable, and I loved how simple yet poignant Evie's advice was. I can see why he'd want it to be special, but I am a bit curious about the ring heir mother offered. Was it some sort of family heirloom? Because if yes, he's a bit of a prick for turning it down XD I also liked how out of place she felt among the Muggles, even though they probably couldn't tell at all that she and James were any different.

It's a bit on the short side, thought, so not much to dissect here. I just like the exposition and how it was weaved through the story, just a bit at a time, giving the reader just enough for context but not in a chunky, bogged-down paragraph, and yet being vague enough to pique interest.

SPaG:
[running his happiness in her fact]

I spent WAY too long trying to figure out what this means, but I think you wanted to say 'rubbing his happiness in her face' XD

[just Alohamora it]

It's 'Alohomora', actually.

This was cute. I know in your summary it mentions this ties into another fic, but the hints to things, especially to whatever went down with Severus feels like they could have been expanded upon and explained a bit more. Or, perhaps, taken out. It's not really all that relevant to finding Lily an engagement ring after all. I liked the end of this especially, though. James settling on the emerald ring for Lily after Evelyn points out how it's uniqueness and the gold will make her love it was sweet.