good story

A great start to this story! Looking forward to reading more!

Great start! Please post more soon!

xxx Kudos xxx : )

Wow, this is the first time i read a Harry confronting Sirius at this time.
And the memory collective is ingenius, and i love how Harry is absorbing knowledge.

Great debut !

Interesting thus far, keep up the good work, bye

besides the switching back and forth between first and third person, this is a very good read. that got better towards the end, so great job. Thanks for feeding my addiction.

I scrolled this out of curiousity from the beta post and... before I go on and on about writing I want to say if this is your first few sincere foray into creative writing- your diction is probably on the higher end, and it is fairly good. Description of things is good- just not of what characters are doing and feeling. Plot wise- I'd be interested to see where you take it. In terms of connecting to the reader- your style didn't connect with me after the prologue. It wasn't compelling enough for me to care for what happens. You can take my comments and apply it or not. I just thought I would leave a review.
Honestly the main difference between formal writing and creative writing tends to be drama and emotion. Style wise- you need to have more dialogue to make it seem more natural. Formal writing tends to be all passive- this happened to x i.e. There was a boom heard in the the other room and she saw fire spread into her room. - rather then active voice- x responded/reacted to y i.e. She sprang up from bed as her bedroom wall shook and the boom caused her to cover her ears as she felt her room heat up as fire spread.
In the Passive/Active- it depends on the situation and setting. If it was actually *normal* or you wanted to understate then you would use the passive. If you wanted to dramatize it- and they were panicked you would use the active.
Creative writing uses both.
An often repeated advice is show, don't tell. You need to learn how to show what you mean- then know when to TELL things, or outright avoid things.
Overall- the diction is quite high- but I honestly don't 'feel' what you mean. The majority of the chapter was this happened and harry observed it. Then the next thing happened.
Pacing is off for me. You wrote a summary and information dumps for me then your pacing seems too fast for me. It depends on what you want but... you need to make your readers wait- or give time to build it up IF the point is important. Don't make them wait too long, or short. It's like gifts- give birthday gift six months before and you don't get a good pay out, and give it six months after and you waited too long.
Finally, Endings. In my opinion there are only two sorts of ends: ones that works and ones that don't. If you end a chapter, you need to end it on an interesting note. For the prologue it is okay to end it in a conclusion- but when possible try to end it on a cliff hanger OR an interesting note. You almost had an interesting end- but if you cut out the last sentence then it would have been a decent ending in my eyes. I pictured him looking around in awe- ... while ending it with apparently- basically felt mid thought it was mid thought.