Excellent story. Was glued to it till the last chapter. Hope you will update soon.

You fold the follies and inconsistencies of canon (Mrs. B’s sending Jane to Netherfield, E walking there by foot) into the masterplan of the Watchmen.

I like the underlying theme of this fiction, as a response to canon: Nothing is ever as it seems (the silly Mrs. Bennet, the dysfunctional relationship between E and her mother, the tense interactions between Mrs. B and Darcy).

The dialogue shows Caro consistently misunderstanding Darcy and E, Darcy with impossibly high standards that are also surprisingly unconventional, and E as a quick and rather deep thinker.

Thank you for the chapter!

Loved the dialogue in this chapter. Caroline’s lines were perfection: snobby, conventional thinking.

You rework canon lines and descriptions, and make the language your own. Yet it still sounds fetchingly period-esque, and retains Austen’s archness, sprightliness and cleverness.

Wonderful images in the last paragraph, Darcy writing by candlelight, “in precise detail”! as a way to gain control over the mystery which is Elizabeth. Good luck sir, better learn to live with a little mystery!

“Having heard repeatedly that she had a quickness of mind to a greater degree than many, she felt assured that her opinions and impressions were most probably correct.”
Ah, you answered my earlier question, about when E’s flaws would come into play. I was concerned she would be too perfect! In this chapter, you show that she has quite a lot of vanity for her quickness of mind; that vanity intensifies her prejudicial thinking. You also increase the occasions on which E’s prejudices against Darcy grow and fester. I rather like this move, having E hear everything Darcy says about her to his friends, not just the Assembly insult.

You have captured E’s poise, humor, and propensity to laugh when others cry, cower, or lash out. I’m wondering about her temper and anger. She seems more mature here, with cool-headed, than in canon.
“His certainty was more troubling than droll.” Yes, in combat and in courtship, assuming E is his for the asking.
“Suppositions could, indeed, cause grievous harm to a person…” These are E’s thoughts on Darcy. Does E have harmful suppositions of her own? So far, I can’t see them.
Your E smiles while physically conquering her opponent. Just as she smiles in canon while verbally conquering them.
“Mr Darcy was in the habits of authority.” Yes. Thank you for not masking his unattractive manners.
Hmmm, Darcy prefers to speak to Mr. Bennet, and bypass the impertinent women. I’m feeling the feminist undertones of this story.
“She had somehow turned his own self against him…” Some really lovely, intelligent, and incisive lines throughout.

Love Mrs. B’s setdown of Darcy. Thank you for amplifying the little daily acts (how one treats one’s friends, judges strangers, acts at a ball) as indicators of character. It is easy to make Darcy really dark to dramatize his road to “reform.” But even against the dramatic backdrop of “watchmen”, you are working here with Austen’s finely grained palette, where words, looks, gestures in the drawing room reveal character and have ethical implications.
“The great man sat, unthinking and still.” Perfect.
I’m curious that Mr. B is such a silent figure so far.
Yay, they fight!

Smart writing, I particularly liked the first sentence, very Austenesque
Mrs. B’ seeming callousness to her least favorite daughter is a cover for choosing that daughter to be a key member of her watchmen. I like this, because canon Mrs. B’s behavior toward Elizabeth has always been hard for me to read.
Yikes, Mr. Peale stabbed…by the watchmen?
I agree with Elizabeth here: Darcy’s condescending attitude toward Bingley, and toward his friends in general, seems to reveal a lot about his vanity, pride, and selfishness.
Adore Mrs. B and the powerful women in this story.

I love your intelligent, witty prose that moves quickly. I know you said you are not a comedic writer. By comedy, I mean more that you don't write in an overly sentimental, overly melodramatic way; there seems to be a lightness to describing even serious events. We will see, very curious where you are taking this. Love the intelligent women, Elizabeth, Charlotte, and Mrs. B. You took Mrs. B's canon characteristics (gossip, silliness, boy-craziness) as a cover for her vigilante activities. Elizabeth, in this first chapter, is as pitch perfect as I have ever seen in canon: clever, making fun of herself and others, brave, humorous, quicker than everyone.

A very intriguing story. I am looking forward to reading more of it :)

Why would anyone kidnap Maria Lucas?! She has little to call attention to herself, her parents are not rich or connected, the Lodge us not a big property... Puzzled.

The wait is unbearable !

Absolutely brilliant! So glad to reading this story again!

Oohhh... So Rosings has been a den of iniquity for long years... What will they find there?! Something horrible, no doubt.

This would be such a fun place to be visiting, as a child. Not so much gun as an adult looking for someone.
Your story is getting exciting!
Thank you for sharing!

oh my, things are getting interesting, very interesting!