Hope u continue if not can u..like send out some kind of message.
m really a fan of DTB and would love to read more of this crossover.
Thanks for reading.

Will you be continuing this story? It was off to a promising start.

I get that Hei doesnt want to kill poeple, but this fight scene was pretty pathetic. He had multiple opportunities to just knock them out and because you had a different end goal in mind, you didn't make that happen and the writing suffered for it. Ten times out of ten, Hei should be able to kill or incapacitate Adam and Blake in a 2v1 fight. No question. So it not happening here, especially when there were multiple, natural, times it could have happened makes this feel like a ham fisted mess. Especially once he realized he was on a new world, his motive should have been getting information from them, not just utter indifference to their continued attack.

And he clearly heard Blake mention that she didn't want to blow up the train. You wrote Hei acknowledging it. And then he goes and says "hey if you leave me alone you can just continue doing what you came here to do". So, what. He refuses to kill them because he wants to stop killing people in general, but he's fine with them blowing up a train?

Just wondering but, Isn't Yang's mom Raven, not Summer

Welp, amazing character interactions on the whole. I greatly enjoyed seeing Hei interact with the various cast members of RWBY using the different personalities he has it his disposal both real and fake. But whatever original plot and characters you’re building... ew. Seriously, ew. I’m not inherently against purely original content in fanfiction but experience has taught me to be very suspicious and yours... well let’s just say alarms had started to go off. Mysterious characters that have the canon cast shitting bricks are quite possibly the worst way to make a first impression. No one reads fanfiction to see the canon cast play second fiddle to an OC.

Welp... your introduction of whatever the fuck Lucia is just absolutely murdered any and all hopeful expectations I have for the plot of this fic. Shame, really. Of all the worlds begging for a good OC villain or force... RWBY’s isn’t it. Especially not when in doing so you’ve mangled Raven so thoroughly. Oh, and go make it worse you have a memory loss plot. I’ve still yet to see a single author or hell, writer period ever craft a genuinely good plot from memory loss. Fuck me, I guess chapters two and three really set my expectations if I’m this disappointed.

Super fun concept even with the atrocity that was thb second season of DTB. This first chapter was interesting - I didn’t expect to see him dropped into the Black Trailer but I greatly enjoyed the fight. My only (rather major) concern is that you’ll bastardize Hei’s character under the extremely subjective words of Yin to try and be “human”. If he’s suddenly some upstanding moralist he won’t be Hei, he’ll be your OC with a vague resemblance to Hei.

Hei x Yang Xiao Long x Neo x Blake x Winter

this is really cool and I cant wait to see what happens next! 3

Pfft… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ruby actually mistook Hei for Qrow?! ROFLMAOTD! That is hilarious, please update soon!

I hate powers in the shadows.

I only love powers in the shadows if the MC is one, or is overpowered and can destroy/make a fool of said powers.

Loved the chapter! It’s getting close to Beacon now, I can’t wait to see what happens next!

So quick question, I haven’t caught up on RWBY since the end of season 3 I think? I have to ask, is what’s going on with Raven here canon or something you came up with yourself?

I love it!
My critique would be to work on your use in quotations and apostrophes. Remember, some words will require apostrophes to show possession . And, try to be accurate on where to put quotations.
My one pet peeve would be for you to try and not implement too many OCs, it’ll start to ruin the flow of the story and would add too many factors. Factors you clearly won’t be able to deal with and would have to make them near irrelevant or just kill them off. That and OCs start to bore after a while.

Love the story and how you manage to fit in him in RWBY and the way you show his struggle to be "human".
Hope you continue this story. :)