I like this!

*SCREAMS OF THE UNDEAD*

MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!

this story's amazing but you haven't posted in about a year. i know you said it isn't abandoned, but if it is at least make an ending :[

-my real account is canddyheartz but who needs phones when you got a 3ds

THIS STORY IS REALLY NEAT GOOD JOB AND THAN YOU

Love it

I love your story! Please update soon!

That poor female Null! Also...miiiiiight want to either bump the rating or put a content warning for that. Left me really unsettled.

I could barely stomach those video logs. Holy ****, that was horrifying.

Wonderful story. Extremely dark. Please update this and Don't Fear the Wolf soon. Plzzzzzz?

Love it

Hacia tanto que no iniciaba sesión

Well! I love your fanfic! I was really emotional all time i was reading and the feels are a big thing for me in a history. I like a lot your Style and your history, so please, keep going!

(Soy mejor leyendo que escribiendo en inglés, perdona si hay algo más xDuU)

I was too lazy to log in.

First, you know the island challenge starts at age 11, right? It's stated right in the game at least when the player and Hau visit Aether Paradise the first time. Wicke guesses their age is 11 because they're on their island challenge, and both options for the player as well as Hau's response confirm that. So how are Sun and Moon twins if she's only 10, but he's on his challenge?

It is also mentioned in the game that Gladion left Aether 2 years before the events of the game. If he left at age 10 like you have here, then he should only be 12 now, which is not yet a teenager as you called him.

And maybe it's creative license, but I'm fairly certain Hau was raised by his grandfather because his dad took off. He does mention somewhere in the game (perhaps near the end, but I'm not sure) that he wants to get stronger and then go look for his dad someday. That his dad didn't like being a kahuna's son or something and left. But if you want to go with a strange tradition idea, then never mind.

And Lusamine was in fact bad to Lillie too. Perhaps not to the extent she was to Gladion, but Lillie does say, and I quote, "She [Lusamine] was so bad after you left! If I hadn't had Wicke with me, I don't know what I'd have done." (This may not be word-for-word; I'm going from memory, but she does say Lusamine was bad and got worse after Gladion left).

I point out these things for the sake of accuracy. And your story has good potential, but you do a lot more telling than showing. You need to slow down and show at least some of these events as they happen instead of just telling about them after the fact. For example, instead of what you have for when Sun meets Gladion, actually show their meeting. Have some dialogue, describe their battle. Don't just be "this happened, then this, and he felt like this at the time...etc." is that making sense? And your characters need to know less. Sun just knows Gladion's been through some hellish trauma after 2 meetings? People can and tend to hide their pain better than that. And it's a bit boring for them to just guess that well. He could believably sense some big sadness in Gladion, but not guess trauma right from the start.

Please keep going. I merely wish to help you write, not discourage you from continuing. :)

Please update!

A shorter chapter! This was a pretty good one, and it really ironed out Gladion's mental state. Plumeria was FANTASTIC in this chapter as well. I see you've either heavily researched PTSD and anxiety, or you have hands-on experience with it, because everything was handled really well. The dialogue was a bit more organic than last chapter, so that's great!

The grammar problems from last chapter are also in this one. I hope we see more of Null soon, and Gladion's interactions with him! I wonder at the mystery of the redacted sections of his files.

Hey there! I'm really glad to see fics of Gladion and his Type: Null! I thought their bond was super under-explored and that there was so much potential there. Your grammar is pretty good, except for some dialogue issues that were covered by the lovely Elmo earlier (yikes). Gladion's feelings about his mother are genuinely heartbreaking. And wow, Guzma's a SAVAGE in this fic. Team Skull is genuinely scary here! And poor Null, all he knows is abuse and neglect. I'm really glad he and Gladion are back together.

A problem I've been noticing is that there's a substantial amount of infodumping, which can mess with the flow of your story. "Show, don't tell" is an excellent rule! Things tend to move along really quickly without stopping to describe what's going on, like how Gladion got through the Shady House to Guzma's room. I know we all played the game, but stopping to describe settings and senses really immerses your reader into what's going on. It'd make you feel right there in Gladion's head!

I noticed a lot of similarities to my own fic, when Gladion first got to the motel room . . . I'm not accusing you of anything, but some of the similarities are a little uncanny, like Null's helmet structure, and the feathers and hissing, and how Gladion tried to acclimatize Null to the room. Of course these things are all artistic license, and you could totally use them! But as I was reading I was like, "Man, this is familiar."

MOREEEEEEEEE