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NEED AN EPILOUGE

it was a good one shot

Aw~. That was a nice story, but too short. Ever wonder a sequel? It’s too cute for just a one-shot.

Oh man just makes you think about what the other potions would affect the other girls lol. Good

Oh my, this was quite interesting.

And, no, Megumin is NOT going to be happy when she hears about this.

even the word 'nice story' couldn't describe this story but, NICE LEMON STORY.

That fic was pretty sweet. Very descriptive, if not a little hentai-cliche. The pairing Is also good, I like wiz..

I'd love to see a continuation with everyone's reaction to what Kazuma did and maybe the use of the drug with his party members. It was a fun story hopefully you write at least one more chapter.

Yay! I love crazy fics like this. Would love to read more like these :D

A number of issues with this

One, your prologue was a short, blunt piece of exposition. Yes, everything is done, and everybody unrelated is inexplicably elsewhere. CONVENIENT.

Give some reasoning for the preoccupied parties, and rather than just bluntly state it try to make it seem like a normal line of thought. Seriously, do you think about what all your friends and family are doing each time you wake up?

Which brings me to the narrative- much of it is blunt exposition. It almost works with the smut parts, but it comes off so stilted it's hard to involve oneself at all with what's happening.

It seems like you wanted to keep momentum, but when your characters climax less than half a page down from the start of the action, you're gonna need to reassess your writing process. People do in fact jack it to adult fan fiction- that's why there's a whole damn site for it CALLED that.

As an aside, I'd like to mention that vivid PWP, trite or not, gets deleted from any time it gets flagged. You risk getting banned for it like this. Do what you want, though.

If you're going to endeavor to post on AFF sites, I'd recommend you brush up on what I've mentioned. People take their smut pretty seriously...

With all that out of the way, I wanted to commend your efforts. They were brief, flashy, and ultimately told a halfway promising story. Aphrodisiac/mind control stories are the bread and butter of adult fantasy works- goid for your first attempt, really pretty hackneyed otherwise. Everybody does it, seriously.

With all that in mind, do take care and I hope to see more from you in future. Keep up the good work!

Well done. I wish to see Meg's reaction