Review of Part One - Living Computer (Chapters 1-11)

Okay, it’s about time I checked out this fic. I was intrigued from the beginning because of the premise, since I can’t say I’ve ever read sci-fi PMD before, and had made art of Macro before as a request, so of course I was gonna get to it eventually. 11 chapters in, I’m really glad I did, because this fic is very entertaining so far.

First, I need to talk about the world. The way you described it from the very beginning had me hooked, as you describe all the bad smells and the muck and... Ooh, it’s so unpleasant to read about, yet leaves me wanting more of it. The different peeks we get into all the other cities Macro goes to for his jobs adds a lot of variety to the setting, as well as how technologically advanced it is, yet still recognizably Pokemon with how different species and types are used. The type-gun is an interesting-albeit convenient inclusion in Macro’s arsenal, plus, you don’t sugarcoat the whole Pokemon eating other Pokemon aspect, which leaves me wondering how such a thing would be resolved in the future.

Oh, and did I forget to mention space pirates? How awesome is that? As corrupt as the setting is, it’s also a place I really like escaping to, which puts it a step above a lot of dystopian settings where everything is dreary. It’s sort of a fun hell, in that regard, and reminds me a little bit of the settings of the Gentlemen Bastard series.

Speaking of space pirates, the main cast is also entertaining to read about, as the banter they have adds a lot of charm and humour to the story, and you do get a sense of camaraderie with all of them. While they don’t have much individual depth at the beginning, particularly during a moment in the story where the bigger plot threads had yet to be pulled together, they work well as a team, and that, coupled with the fun and creative action scenes, held the first few chapters together.

When Download Database gets introduced however, that’s where things get really bloody intriguing. I was invested in her character from the beginning, as the concept of a living mon being brainwashed and turned into a robot of sorts is really disturbing. I can’t blame Macro for feeling the way he did, getting all of the drives to dig dirt on Socket while simultaneously trying to better her life by giving back her personality. In terms of Macro’s character, I felt like this dynamic added a lot of depth to him where there might not’ve been before. We get to see a bit more of a compassionate side to him, as well as a reason for him to keep plodding along despite everything that’s stacked up against him.

In terms of story, her character also presents a bucketload of possibilities for the bigger plot to come. There’s not only the big hook of what will happen when all five disks are obtained, there are also the little questions that keep me guessing as well. Why did Socket choose her to become the vessel for encrypted secrets? What life was DL ripped apart from before she lost her memories? Are there more Living Computers out there? There are lots of directions you could go with this, and since this is a finished fic, that only means some of those promises will be fulfilled later on, which makes me eager to read more to find out what will happen.

I do have a few minor criticisms with this fic. They don't harm the story in the grand scheme of things, but I thought I'd point them out anyway. The episodic pacing in the first few chapters had me wondering where the story was going in the grand scheme of things, and while they were well written and action packed, I was starting to get burnt out with how similar those chapters were as Macro goes from job to job. There isn’t a lot of character development during that part either, and because of that, my investment started to waver a bit. That all changes, of course, when Macro steals Download Database, and the story greatly improves from there. In any case, the early chapters were solid enough that it wasn’t much of a problem.

Another thing is parts of the writing style. It's not bad. In fact, it's very good in places like the description of the various cities Macro visits and how grimy and unpleasant everything is. You feel how toxic the air he's breathing is. You really get a sense of how much urban decay there is. Sometimes though, especially when it comes to body language, it suffers from overwriting. Stuff like the furrowed brows, the frowns and all that, appear a bit too often and don't serve the dialogue that much, and could just be cut out to make for more efficient description. Less is more, after all.

I’m also on the fence about Surge’s character so far. She is interesting, and the on-again, off-again dynamic she has with Macro is fun to read about, especially with their mock dates. The nature of her mercenary job also makes for some interesting drama, as it brings up that paycheck vs personal interest dilemma, but the problem I have so far is determining which side she’s on. For siding with Macro about the living computer situation as well as the chemistry they have together, I thought they would’ve had more common ground, but as of chapter 11, nope. It seems like he’s just a means to an end again. I found it a bit odd that she came to that decision so quickly after accepting the job, but oh well. There’s still room for her to develop.

But overall, I’m having a blast with this fic. When I have a bit more time and have checked out more of the fics on my bucket list, I will come back to this one. Best of luck to you and all your future writing projects.

Finally got around to reading the ending.
The ending is really bittersweet seeing the awesome characters.
N0ize is working with the detectives now? I never thought he will end up in the that kind of work. Guess it make sense since Sockets tyrannical regime is over. Should he get along with Tracer and not look at the Delphox with contempt, as for Widget he always seemed to have a soft spot with that little Eevee.
Annie pulled a Switch and decided to stay after all with her new family. The same way Switch did as well finding a new life in this world. And lastly Switch made out of alive and recovered he is quite a tale to tell Macros ancestors from his own timeline.
And this leaves former pirate Macro and DL. And they fell in love with each other aww with a promising happy feature together after they been through.

There... finally made it the current chapter. I really enjoyed this story. Love the amazing world's you create and characters.

Oh snap.
It's gonna get messy!

Having the Ultra Beast around is so interesting to see!

If Yobi is trying to destroy all Ultra Beasts does that make him good now? I mean he's probably still angry over the entire DL thing. But could there be some protagonist in the Raichu?

A happy and sad chapter. so widget was deathly sick since the beginning of his life and his mother used all the money she had and then some to have him cured. Widget then tries to get enough money to help his mother get back on her feet. Widget gets mixed up in the wrong crowd and fails to save his mother. He partners up with Tracer. Really good chapter and love the way you write. Keep it up

That was a close one...

having read the AN, i often see that stories in the same verse, but not a sequel end up being quite good. it makes the world you create seem larger, many unrelated tales in one setting are my favorite!

A simple in and out job, Fate had other ideas. I wonder if there is anything else written on Socket's letter. I guess that if the Pichu ever finds macro again, Macro's heart will shatter. If the news ever got out the socket was the reason the bombs were in the apartment, she would become public enemy number one. So matrix and cookie were found in a scrapyard. Amazing chapter. I hope that arc 5 goes good. Have a good one!

Well this chapter will break a lot of hearts. Socket has no morals, heck she had the memory put in the location of here it all started. I wonder why there was a eletibuzz in the apartment complex on the night of the job, that can't be a coincidence. And this is one 1 of the 2 memories that will bring hurt, how much worse is the second one. It is hard to like the nice guy who inadvertently killed your parents. Keep up the great work!

The final line is what gets me, "Dry and Brittle. She'd always expected them to be soft". That says a lot about waveform. It also shows how surprisingly innocent Annie is. Love the conversation between them about the human cult thing. So Dl does not know any attacks ... yeah, that could be problematic. Have a good one.

A lovely chapter with some romance with a lombre stalker in the background. What is surge's plan in this, is she doing this out of spite or jealousy. Solegaleo probably predictied the future saying that the rest of DL'S memories would give them hardship. You really know how to make yobi the raichu likeable, the guy has a horrible job and probably hates what he did. I would live to see his conscience yell out at him to do the right thing and go through with it. have a great one.

When you decide to make a new Pokemon you will be targetted by a group of trolls who will falsely review your story. They go by the name "St Elmo's Fire", "Farla", "Reeds of Enki, "DLPxBeAsTxSnIpE", "Talarc", "thisispingas", "Act" and BeHopeful. It's best to block them before they become a problem for you. Do not talk to them either for as they will send your PM down over at their blog.

Why they do it is rather simple. They think they know better then everyone else. Better to block them. Also spread the word and warn others

They finally kissed! Yes!

Also Yobi is still one of my favorite characters in this story, the poor guy :(