Dude below my review take a chill pill. The story is a great one. How about you send some kind words for once. If all you do is harp on the author you will discourage them and them you won't have a story to read. I personally enjoy the story quite a are doing a fantastic job Author hun

Again, you seem to miss a large majority of the capitalization of sentences and names, you really need to work on that. Again I recommend you fix the both this and the first chapter, put in the correct capitalization (as well as some missing punctuation) before you post your next chapter.

Needs work, you've missed most of the capitalization of names and a few of the necessary punctuation. I recommend working on that before posting the next chapter. That said, its still well written and interesting sounding.

very cute! I'd love to read more!