please come back someday! i need it.

she a ho.

"How can she be a Weasley?"
Easy, just look at her temper, the traits are there.

Nice scene at the beginning with Clara and her father. You did a nice job of showing how she both wants to be close to her dad but still has a lot of unresolved issues with him. Total Dad line thinking that Seamus was Sampson! :) While Ron is very overprotective of Clara, he kind of needs to be. I felt bad for Clara when the guilt of hurting Seamus got to her; that’s realistic given that she’s a good person. How fun (kind of ) to see Umbridge! Will she play a role in the story?! Finally, romantic scene with Draco. He’s so cocky, but you’ve made it seem like he really does love her. Of course he’s a bad boy- alcohol and all- but this romance is certainly blossoming quickly!

Oooh! The mystery continues. What does the elf know? Why is Clara’s mom pushing her towards Draco— is it innocent or are there other forces at play? Sad scene about Cedric- he was always a good guy. You did a nice job bringing in the new age of darkness and juxtaposing the POV of Clara with that of Draco. Clara certainly told Seamus how she felt and I hope he will respect her wishes. I wonder why he turned on Harry, other than the fact that everyone seems to be turning on him now, except for Ron and Hermoine. It’s great how your storyline parallels the timeline in the novels! I wonder how this romance with Draco will flourish or even if it should flourish. A lot to think about!

Huh. I wonder what Clara’s Mom knows. I’m conflicted if she genuinely wants Clara to loved Dtaco and follow her heart or if she’s trying to set Clara up. I don’t know enough about her yet. I also wonder about that “headache.” Was Clara really having one or was it a spell or something more? Way to incorporate Cedric now. I’m hoping that he’s a true friend to Clara and he won’t be immersed in this love... triangle?! I also hope that he won’t betray her secrets (and that Lavendar also won’t). Interesting ending with Draco’s POV again. I don’t think he will give up, though! I feel bad for him in the sense that he feels the constant criticism from his dad. I think the line here that stood out is that Draco is not capable of love. Yes- that might be it. No matter how badly he thinks he can love, maybe he’s just incapable of it.

Another great chapter! I am so enjoying this. Ron and Lavendar were cute, but I’m glad that Ron went to talk to Harry when the chips were down. Seamus is kind of adorable, and just when things started looking good... you have that really hot scene with Draco- wow! You show Clara’s conflict so well. She is kind of in love with two men... or in like... or in lust. I don’t even think she knows! It’s always fun to see things as well from Draco’s POV. He’s so bad but there IS something there that makes him vulnerable. I hope wearing the jacket doesn’t come back to haunt her and that her roommate is trustworthy...

I read your note at the start of the chapter, and for what it’s worth, I think you didn’t need to clarify the relationship. Your writing is great and I think the fact that the relationship is ambiguous and nuanced is crystal clear. The chemistry with Draco is totally there, and I love how you show his vulnerability. He almost can’t get past his personality and background (even his flirting is obnoxious! Haha) but he wants to play Quiditch and be in love, even if he doesn’t know how to escape the expectations placed upon him or to examine what love really is or if he’s capable of it. Excellent, complicated romance here. Clearly, Clara is trying to fight it. Poor Seamus I fear will end up hurt, though I enjoyed how you left the possibility open that it could work, if even with the slow embers... :) Who saw Draco and Clara almost kiss?! What will Draco do now that he knows about Clara having a boyfriend? What will the effect of the letter to Clara’s Mom have? I have a feeling that could be important! :)

Nice job as usual here. Seamus seems like a really good, genuine guy. I’m glad that Clara could confide in him, though you portrayed her hesitation to do so quite well. Ah— I wanted to see if sparks would fly if they kissed as well. Darn that Snape! I can’t help but to wonder if he knew exactly why he should break it up. I felt her when Clara noted that things with Seamus might be over before they had a chance to start. For some reason, the line about Draco having to do something drastic- which for him was a simple “I’m sorry”- struck me as both comical and sad. I cannot figure Draco out, so kudos to you on that. Like Rowling, you make the characters grow into who they really are, and Draco, while- bad- does have a few seeds of redemption growing in him. What’s going on with Clara’s mother? Nice way to weave that element into the story as well!

I enjoyed the POV switch here and you were right- it did work! Ron is so protective of Clara. I can imagine how embarrassed she would be about the rumors with Draco... and yet she still likes him. That’s very realistic. Loved the little scene in the room with Moaning Myrtle. There is definite chemistry with Draco and yet I love how Clara’s sass comes right back and the anger rears its head again. Pansy is jealous! Love how Clara can so clearly see that. At the same time, though you’re making Draco sympathetic for me, I wish he wasn’t such a bad guy. Despite this, you’ve shown personal growth on his part. It’s not a softness but the slightest bit of humility and vulnerability which is great. It wouldn’t make sense for Draco to be all innocent and give up him natire so quickly. I’m so darned curious where you will take this romance! Well done!

Great chapter again! The details about Clara’s Mom were so realistic and yet unexpected. I don’t blame Clara for not trusting her mom, but I am glad that everything (seemingly) is out in the open with them now. I love that Draco is jealous of Seamus. Your diction conveys who is is deep down (like wanting to FORCE Clara to talk to him). Yet, you show Draco is very layered, admitting to his cowardice in speaking with her. Again, good nod to the events of the HP novels in so many areas, and I enjoy how even though this is a story about Clara and Draco, you portray the other relationships so clearly. Your descriptions of Ron amen Harry’s relationship are great!

Another great, well detailed chapter! You so well incorporate the canon characters and situations with your own original twist. I love Draco being jealous— and Clara being jealous, too, despite dreamy Cedric’s interest in her! I also enjoyed the start of the chapter with references to Clara’s Mom and how she both corresponds with her and keeps her at a distance. That’s smart. Hermoine makes me laugh- you show her just like she is in the books! This whole romance and Clara’s feelings are well drawn out. What a fun story this is — you’ve immersed me in the world you’ve created here!

Honestly...you’re a really good writer. How this story did not get more reviews is beyond me, and I’m just on chapter 4. You incorporate the characters and incidents from the books so effortlessly. I feel like I’m revisiting old favorite scenes. I mean, I was laughing out loud with the Harry turning his aunt into a balloon memory! Plus, Hermoine with her homework and Ron with his travels all made this so good. You put a fresh spin on things with this Clara’s perspective and it’s engaging. The scene on the train when she and Draco almost kissed was awesome- you froze that moment in time. Then the follow up line, where “I became Clara Weasley and he became Draco Malfoy” was simply put but spoke volumes. You express her hopes and fears and uncertainties so well. When it was noted
that Draco never made fun of her directly, you captured Clara being both embarrassed and pleased so well. Nice break into Draco’s POV as well. Again, good transition into the next chapter.

I saw your author’s note too and I’m sorry for your loss.

Looking forward to making time to read some more!

I really hope you keep writing. Fantastic job.

You are a really good writer and I liked how you wrote Draco. I still think he's a git ;-) but I'm honestly enjoying this story. I hope you keep writing.