it was going pretty good. I liked it. But it stopped faster extremely abruptly.

This is amazing I really enjoyed it and it’s not everyday that I enjoy something really great job

Max deserves happiness.

This started off well . . . until I got to the speech. Do you know how to write paragraphs properly?
I had a quick flick through the other chapters to see if it was the same before coming back here and commenting.

I don't think I'm the only reader who will skip a story because of bad paragraphing and grammar. It's just too annoying to read and keep up with.
Remember, you need a new paragraph everytime a; person, place, time or topic, changes.

e.g.
"She wasn't aware of this," Cameron told him clearly.
"Then she should have been made aware." Stephen crossed his arms in a huff of annoyance.

This way, we understand when who is speaking. The first line was said by Cameron, the second line of dialogue was said by Stephan because there was a new paragraph, so we knew there was a new speaker, who was introduced after the dialogue tag.

You'll find your stories arent skipped if you do this, and while it makes your writing look longer, it actually makes it easier to follow for the reader. English narratives are written this way, so english readers will be used to reading this way.

Good luck!

Omg this is absolutely, positively, brilliant! Please update! I’d die to see more of this fabulous story and your magnificent writing!

Is this going to be continued?

To be honest. I was expecting self harm.

Okay so after chapter 3,there are typos here and there BUT the story so far is great. Maybe a little less cursing with Max?He would curse but I'm sure with what's happening, he would be more vulnerable towards David. ANYWAYS! Don't let my opinion stop u from writing! Just take in what readers say and learn from it. It's the best thing to do trust me!will be looking forward to more!

Chapter 1 is a good start! Like the others said, some double spacing whenever someone new starts to talk would be great. Gives it a better feel when reading.

Story's very good, but you might want to space the paragraphs better so its not just a wall of text.

The pacing isn't bad but you need to remember to double-space your letters so that they don't stick together when FF publishes your work.

I LIKE THIS! Please update this soon!
Only thing... paragraphs? It's kinda hard to read it, to be honest...
That's pretty much my only criticism (please don't hate me!)

You have me hooked :)
I'm loving the story so far!
Lol Max I love that child.
Only thing I would suggest is spacing if you can manage. Just to make it easier to read, but other than that I like the way you write.

Yesssss! Caring David gives me life!
Just a quick thing- you posted chapter one and chapter two in chapter two. You might want to change that so that people don't think your update is a mistake.
Great job so far! Can't wait for more!

Oml please more!