For what it's worth I'm glad you didn't drop it. Yeah there were moments that I felt you jumped the shark but I honestly have no regrets that I read this story. I'm also glad to have found a JackxOc story since there aren't very many, there's barely any Jack stories to begin with which is a shame. So yeah if you plan on continuing this story in a sequel I will read it with a smile on my face.

Sorry, nope. Just nope. I would maybe accept this if you laid some sort of foundation, but this? This is ... a comedy? Sorry again, but this definitly isn't something for me to read.

What the fuck?

Umm... Jack actually has a low ranked Surgical Procedure skill that can be used to heal, or at least, keep someone alive. When her 'original' Master was trying to summon "Jack the Ripper", it didn't work the first time, so he tried to recreate the circumstances when 'his' knives had been used, and had stabbed Reika multiple times. After Jack was summoned and decided Reika was her 'mother'/master, rather than her actual master, she used this skill to stitch her up and save her life. I think it was also used to transfer the Command Spells, as well, but that might be wrong.

Surgical Procedure, E:
"Despite the technique being 120 years old, and somewhat unreliable by visual appearance alone, the procedures manage to attain their intended effect, boosted somewhat with application of Magical Energy. (The victims of Jack the Ripper were found with their organs removed in such a way as to require anatomical knowledge or skill with dissection.)" (typemoon wikia) (interestingly, I've read that the coroner who examined Jack the Ripper's 'canonical victims' concluded the killer DIDN'T have legitiment scientific or anatomic knowledge, but then, Legends don't necessarily have to be 'true' in nasuverse)

It's supposed to look rather crude, as if the wounds aren't even closed properly, but all bleeding and pain will have completely stopped.

OK, ignoring that a human, magus or not, attacking a Servant is pretty much suicide, pretty sure the only way Jack would oneshot Atalanta would be her Noble Phantasm, especially as (I'm assuming, not sure what time this is going down) all three conditions were met, making it an instant death curse. I kinda think you were implying something like this, but seeing as it wasn't stated, it leaves one wondering.

... you had a magus and an assasin class servant fight an Archer class in straight up combat and win... first off Archers arrow would have gone right through his arm normally, secondly no magus can fight a servant and have a hope of victory. Thirdly, Jack is a powerful servant yes, but only when she can hide. Going from the starting position of a long distance away, in a direct line of sight of an Archer class... she would never manage to hide. It would be a slaughter. Shit, Atalanta was powerful enough to last against beserker in close combat. While he kept regenerating. A young, partially trained magus and an assassin class servant would be butchered.

Yes indeed, Asiko is powerful. Way too powerful! What's next, a fucking REALITY MARBLE?! You're overdoing it!

Alright, explain to me why this kid is so stupidly powerful! If he is that strong, why did his master get ripped apart like this?!

...May I just comment? At first, I thought the fanfic presented an interesting idea to take on Fate/Apocrypha's characters, but I find that significant characterization is being thrown to the wind, and characters such as the Servants of the Red Faction are really OOC, especially the Karna you are depicting in this chapter. As a result, I can't help but wonder if you've actually read source material or are trying to keep characters faithful to canon?

Is this brat really 13?

cool

yesssss

interesting.

It has assassin of black, I like it.

I have no idea why you expected hate! This is very good! Sure, the story is a bit short and you could go a bit deeper into detail (like Asiko meeting Reika, interacting with them, etc) but the idea itself is very original, kudos to you!