you keep writing 'lieutenant' wrong , maybe you should check this
but so far your story is pretty good
i m lookin forward to read the next chapters
sincerely
Yesse

Good, so there was more to Annabeth and Theseus than: new demigod comes out of the literal blue then charms Annabeth despite knowing her for literally less than a month. Solid reason too. This alone has improved the story greatly.

However Zoe still seems pretty OOC

Soooo Im going to be completely and honestly blunt here. This story so far is pretty bad. It would be "meh" but you're using a trope that has been used in this fandom thousand upon thousands of times. Normally this would be fine if it was written well but it isn't.

Annabeth and Theseus have met each other only recently. There is no way given what we know about Annabeth that she would leap this fast into a relationship with him unless you've drastically changed her character. Added onto that, what we've seen so far of their interactions don't really point to the direction you've taken them in. So far Theseus has the personality of untoasted white bread. Sure he seems like a decent demigod and all and he does his job well but he's not interesting at all.

Also, Zoe getting trapped by those las. giants is kind of unbelievable. She is a thousand year old huntress, the lieutenant of the them even! How the hell was she defeated by them? She just kind of gave up after seeing them. Having her just black out from an unseen attack would have been far more acceptable.

I'm typing this on a phone so this is all I'm willing to write for this review. This isn't a dumpster fire like some fics by any means. But there is a lot of room for improvement. I want you to succeed with this story, I really do. PerZoe fics are rare these days. So if you have any questions shoot me a pm. I'm can't claim to be an excellent writer by any means, but hopefully I can give some tips you find helpful and point you to some excellent authors whose stories you can learn from. Best of luck with this fic. I'll be following it to see the quality of your work improve (hopefully).

P.S if you decide to look through my fav/followed stories and authors I am aware that many of them are hot garbage and/or extremely mediocre, however I've been following them since I was in hs so it kind of feels somehow wrong to get rid of them. Like I'm discarding a piece of my history on this site lol.

"'Twilight. PerfectNo it is not

Oh thank the lord he's not the guardian. We don't need anymore martyr like actions from this character. Bear traps,animals trying to kill him etc. Very happy with what you did with percy. Hope to see more soon

Good chapter, very entertaining.

oh praise the lord an update

I liked it! Maybe a little fast paced for me, but I like it.

So Percy just kissed his grandfather. That will probably haunt his dreams for a while.
Anyways looking forward to the next chapter

Fuck what that Guest said about quotation marks, he dont get a say in this without an account. You do you and make good content as always homie

awsome chapter

For fucks sake "USE THE CORRECT QUOTATION MARKS" then the story would be great

This is new. And strange. Artemis' was the last person I'd expect to save him. And Apollo is bipolar it seems. he want from "bad shit is going down" to let's party in a couple of seconds

I had to reread some of the past chapters just now to understand what was happening, but this was cool.

This was a fantastic read well done