Gonna see how bad his struggles lol . Waiting the next by the way

Wow...this is absurdly good! I'm surprised!

Though, is this Death Flag a game or anime or light novel or a manga? I see that the reviewers said about volumes and chapter while you say game. Just confused.

Damn, I'm interested now. Please don't let us down!

good very good

Well, what an interesting plot that you got here. Is this a crossover or an alternate universe?. In certain aspect of the writing do emulate the typical RPG.

With it's non chalant european name for the character, very badly writen dialogue lines ( some might say it was written and thought off by a middle schooler), and of course the weird sound that the characters would make in example but no limited to, Ara Ara, fufufufu, hmmmm (very drawn out) and of course 'pouting' sound.

The characters (well the OC's I guess) is stiff and the way they talk is one dimensional at best and cringe worthy at worst. Have you ever read the Iliad or the Odyssey before? The character in those book have line that is very stiff as if they were reciting a report. But that is to be expected because the story is supposed to be told orally.

You on the other hand are not making an oral report but rather a normal fictitious story. Therefore why is it that the character sound like that they are reading out of a teleprompter rather than speaking normally?

Then there is the character name and on how they address one another. Is Hikigaya name in here Harold or is it the butler? It was so confusing until the end where you finally explain at the end of chapter 1.

The problem I could find with your characters is that you have an idea on how they should be but doesn't have the complete picture yet.

That's the end of my review, you should keep on writing and improve but all in all this story should be put under a folder name draft for it need to be reviewed and edited for a while.

Yo i tried doing a quick review yesterday but I fell asleep writing it, but basically what i wanted to write, this is really nice and i would definitely like to read more but for some reason I feel it should be better, I’m only basing it on how much I love Oregairu and Death Flag(currently at chapter 50) meaning to me it should be close to the original as possible. Since It seem to me that Harold(outside personality) isn’t Harold in the sense, he isn’t haughty, arrogant, and cruel enough. He also has his parents and they have a good relationship which takes away from the setting the death flag novel set up; the always been alone fighting against his death flags and the never having to rely on anyone due to his amazing talent, and overpowering abilities.

While I know your story is your own it’s just hard for me to read when I fell in love with the original story and his “As if I will second,” attitude. But apart from all that,
What advice I would give is think about story flow. You want it to go from one place to another without it being felt as if you suddenly made a left Turn without realizing it. Meaning don’t have a calm scene and then all the sudden make it into a hardcore battle without having a sentence or two to transition into the next scene. That’s pretty much it. Take care I’m looking forward to more.

Your writing is shit, and your plot is also shit. Why making this an oregairu fanfic? Such a nonsensical choice.

is it going to be different between the original and your storyand i hope he's OP AF )

you can add an oc characters you know

I don't think it's terrible so you did alright in my opinion. I like to think I'm picky and I have strong opinions of stories that I read so if I don't hate it to help them you're alright in my book!

Yay an update
Keep it up keu it up keep it up keep it up

it seems that I too can weite a review. fufufun

Sigh...
No Warlock of the Magus World for Hachiman

this looks so promising. please update soon

death flag is one of my fav
and i see you change the prologue

hope you finish this... hope

Sigh...
At least make him control the guy's tendency for his sharp tongue...
That something really gets out of hand.
And please...don't let him get into that position that he is in currently...
On second thought...I would rather like 8man to become...
LIGHTNING BLADE...!