Such an amazing and promising story. Truly one of my favourite fics. Hope you'll come back to it one day.

Shame this seems to have fizzled out. Was really pumped when I first saw this.

A good writer with good ideas, and massive potential. I hope, even if you’re not planning to update, you can give us a sign haha. As this is really good.

First three chapters are very well done and I enjoyed them thoroughly.

Накатал целую простыню про раскрытие истории, и не продвинулся дальше 100к. Стыдно должно быть, молодой человек. Начало занятное, подписался, жду, чего-бы-то-ни-было. Удачи, автор.

This is excellent so far. It’s a nice deviation from the typical WBWL stories and I feel like you’ve got a lot of backstory to explore with the characters that will make them unique and interesting. Looking forward to reading more!

You should really get rid of the AN in second chapter, it does a very good job at destroying any interest a reader might have in the story, otherwise the story itself isn't bad. P.S. All "original" secret societies in fanfiction, without exception, suck ass, and yours would be no different I'm afraid, don't even try to make it interesting, it wouldn't work.

Amazing, amazing story. Only criticism I have is that it's a little slow moving, but every word in every sentence is made excellent use of and none of it seems wasteful. You've got a lot to say, and all of it great. Just a little sad on us readers' ends waiting for updates.

Keep up the phenomenal work!

Amazing, amazing story. Only criticism I have is that it's a little slow moving, but every word in every sentence is made excellent use of and none of it seems wasteful. You've got a lot to say, and all of it great. Just a little sad on us readers' ends waiting for updates.

Keep up the phenomenal work!

This is incredible. 3 chapters and its already one of my favourite stories.
I only hope you finish. Some new and obscure origanal magics won't be bad if you are diverting this much from cannon.
I can't wait to read more. It would be cool if you have a update schedule though.

This is an awesome and interesting idea; I like where it's going!

Also so glad Voldemort isn’t something a toddler or anyone outside of the incredibly unimaginatively backwards Britain could defeat. Seriously if you’re going to make everyone where your story is set an idiot and the main antagonist unprecedentally incompetent and the magic premise irrelevant with how limited magic is why write a fantasy story at all? Never understood why those types of stories caught on so much in the fandom.

Balrog? Cool, is that a hint to a greater Lotr tie in?

Err locket…!? If it’s that locket how’d he end up with it? Sure he was in the area… No I guess you didn’t have a more reasonable way for him to discover the Horcruxes huh? Makes sense and I wonder if Malfoy will be anywhere near as stupid to hand out the diary especially with Tom active.

Harry’s fourteen? Why’d I think fifteen? Ok went back to check and only Amelia mentioned him being fifteen so no need to change it since she doesn’t exactly have to know Harry's exact age.

This early on I’d be careful of having the locket drown out too much of Harry’s personality if it indeed is doing anything of the sort. You haven’t established Harry’s character for us yet and for us to get to know him when he’s being influenced or essentially not himself isn’t a good initial representation of the story. Not to mention angsty/angry characters are pretty boring and possession plot points are pretty dramatic also.
It was nice to see some levity in the story with Susan and Hannah and then with Harry and Tonks, it helped balance things.

I wonder if the hallows are present in your story and how they might come into play with Dumbledore already defeated.

So Harry’s 14?

Is there another reason why Podmore is so insistent on investigating immediately even without a guardian for Harry present? Cover up evidence?

I’ll be honest and I’ve read some really incredible stories that have a harem pairing, those stories even on their own are just ridiculously good. This is written so well already that I really actually want you to write a harem pairing in this story because I think you’d do an good job of it. Also for a reserved character like Harry it’d give him more character interaction that isn’t purely business and people to trust/rely on.

Ah but James cast his final spell wandlessly so if it was illegal… Still what can Harry learn from it?

15 then. In stories written with more focus on characterisation (the impression I get of this story since it’s been done well) I can imagine that the tri-wizard tournament hasn’t actually happened and may not happen but with the willingness to think more outside the box like the harem pairing make me think that you aren’t going to be so quick to throw away the potentially awesome opportunities the tournament can provide and it’s just around the corner.

I find it sorta amusing that Susan and Hannah talk more like a guy, heck they sorta talk like Ron in the books! I wonder if that’s intentional especially what with them possibly having quite the familiarity with those that work for Amerlia and if that’s influenced their development.

So far you’ve been skirting Harry’s POV. You had a bit earlier but it was very short and by himself.

Dark Magic? Wonder for what purpose.

I wonder by killing James if Tom marked Harry as his equal in regards to the strength of his resolve.

Wandless abilities huh? Very curious.

Ok tri-wiazard tournament confirmed! Incidentally I agree about authors notes but the worst thing is when authors reply to numerous reviews as that takes up the time they could be getting stuff done to free up time and write more!

I’m not a fan of the secret society thing since it once ruined a very good story with its sudden introduction and the numerous powerful OC’s who became the main antagonists.

Ah ok the polygamy route is generally where harem stories seem to seek to end up anyway.

If someone claims that Harry is too good when he seems to already have sacrificed his life and incredible amounts of effort and talent to achieve something several years ahead of his time but still not enough to face Tom then I’d say he’s already earned his level.

Well since you’re aware of both canon and fanon along with noting you intend to have your own deviations is reassuring especially in the HP series. It’s just that in fanon HP magic is often made to seem as if its absolute limits set it at a worse level than current consumer technology. Seems really implausible that a society could sustain itself with such a weak and transient craft so with the thought you seem to have put into this story and the world along with the magic we’ve already seen I’m hoping for a more fantasy magic.

In dark times it’s often best not to open doors, that and in highly populated or poorer inhabitations.

With the pairing as it is I wonder if the cliche about virginity will play a role. I mean if that's something that can be sacrificed I wonder if Harry could use rituals to help close the gap between him and Tom or to keep his family safe.

Harry or James?

James cast that potronus but how soon will backup arrive? At the very least Tom might be found out.

It’s so unusual to read a version of James Potter who isn’t bashed for not be Severus Snape. Weird as hell since at the very least Severus spent several years tormenting Harry and Nevile whilst being the one who had eagerly sent Tom and the death eaters after their families and that’s at the very least.
Though I can certainly see how James Potter could end up the way you wrote him, he was already talented and quite proactive if his marauder reputation is of any indication. Take away Lily, who I think in canon it was mentioned he sought after since meeting her at eleven? Well either way murdering his partner, mother of his child, would see him very resolved towards vengeance. As for being a man of conviction, he did go to save Severus at Hogwarts and did join the order to face Voldemort despite being pureblood soon after Hogwarts when he was fairly young. Those factors do hint to the possibility of his character traits.

Awesome chapter, haven’t read a HP fanfiction like this in a long time so thanks for writing this.

As for the “Harem?” part of your summary, it’s best to decide on that sort of thing early on so you can plan it well. Personally I’d prefer that to having to read a character switching between relationships as that just gets annoying and directs too much of the stories focus on vapid drama for my liking. Having the commitment of the characters in the relationship gives it enough stability where you can focus the story elsewhere and there’s less to plan for. As it is romance isn’t something I particularly care for so I don’t really mind what you decide though if you do write slash/yaoi, a warning please.

I forgot how excited I was to find this to be honest. Read it all again and the excitement is very much multiplied. You do a fantastic job of hooking the reader and I can't wait for more. Although (and I'm fully aware it's wayyyy too early to say this) I will cry like a bitch if it does END with Honks

Good idea, horrible and cringy execution. "Green Emeralds", "Green Orbs" and the like being used to describe someone's eyes, especially in darkness (where you can't see someone's eye colour because eyes don't glow in the dark) just creates this air that the author is just restating the obvious in terms of appearances.