i loved it! so awesome! keep up the awesome work!

WARNING! This story has been reported for the following breach:

Entries not allowed:
Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc.

(FanFiction Content Guidelines: Version: 11-20-2008)

Please be aware that your story is now known to staff and is at risk of deletion.

Recommended actions:

Remove or alter the rule-breaking chapter.

Failure to comply with the recommended actions may result in the deletion of your story. Please correct the issues if possible, and please fully read the Rules & Guidelines of this website, which you are instructed to read before uploading each new story.

Have a nice day.

Right. I’m going to level with you. I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to write this, because it’s not easy to sit down and write a story, and you take time out of your life to do it for free for the people of this site. Regardless, there is something that you should know for the sake of your readers who may be affected by what you’ve written.

I just want you to know that you’ve misunderstood the idea of consent. When Trisha died at the age of 26, yes, she had been married to a 450-year-old man, but she was an adult capable of making her own decisions. Even when Hohenheim met her when she was below the age of consent and he fell in love with her, he respected her decision not to do the same, and as such, he didn’t even so much as touch Trisha until she was 21, and capable of making her own decisions as an adult with full emotional maturity.

Therein lies the problem, here. The age gap is not what’s important. It’s the age of the person who’s making the decisions. Here, you have Roy Mustang, an adult, purposefully encouraging the love of an 11-year-old girl, 15 at best. That is not OK. That’s paedophilic. Amy has not reached an age in this fanfic where she could possibly legally consent to a relationship with Roy because she has not yet reached the age of consent. What Roy is doing here essentially amounts to child abuse while he is meant to be her adult guardian, and it’s actually paedophillia. What you’re condoning here is actually very harmful, and if this was discovered, she would be removed from his homeby the child protection system of Amestris.

The problem is, a lot of people on this site have been personally affected by child abuse and paedophillia, and such things are traumatic events for them, and your summary doesn’t clearly state that this will occur. As such, your story is potentially triggering, especially as you are condoning these abusive acts against someone who lacks the emotional maturity to fully consent to what’s happening to her.

As for further actions that I would recommend, I recommend changing this story’s rating to an M as the sort of behaviour that’s depicted here can have a harmful influence on the impressionable younger audience that the T rating is aimed at. I also definitely recommend that you first and foremost place the words “Trigger warning: underage relationship” in your summary to prevent those who have been affected by child abuse from stumbling onto your story. Many other sites force a person to state this at the moment that they upload their story, and you should be no different. It’s done to protect others, so please observe it. No matter how positively you have painted it, situations like this will result in awful memories for those who had to live through the real deal, and emotionally and mentally, this can be very harmful for them.

In addition to this, your first chapter is a non-chapter, and it should either be removed, or merged with the first proper chapter of your story. As such, you are at risk of having your story removed entirely for as long as it remains there, especially so if you’ve been reported. Please observe the rules as a failure to do so has the potential to affect the decisions of the site’s creators, and to therefore adversely affect how the site is run for the rest of us who follow the rules.

Again, I appreciate that you’re writing at all, but please be careful, and please make sure that you fully understand the implications of what you’re writing for the sake of those who may stumble across your story.

If there’s anything that you don’t understand, as a beta-reader of this site, I’m always here to help to clarify it for you. I wish you good luck in your future endeavours.

Yesssssss. Gimme gimme all the fluff!

I am glad I am not reading this story. Numerous reasons are part of it, but you her as a MARY-SUE character. Just the last few lines make me hate her. She is too bossy and shouldn't have ANY pull with Riza's grandfather (the Fuhrer). Your made up character shouldn't be involved romantically with Roy either. Stories like this make me sick, especially when she was a CHILD at the beginning of the story. How can anyone like this story?

I love her power over people. She's AMAZING! I love the story so much.

more pleaz

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH! I really want to read what Ed and Al's reaction is going to be.

I absolutely LOVED chapter 11 when she said all of that stuff about Greed and Envy. AMAZING I love the story so much. I am OBSESSED WITH AMY. she is my most favorite character in ANY fan fiction I have ever read in my life.

I forget, how old is she currently?

That's right he doesn't know about her?

This first chapter isn't so much part of the story as it is a character bio, making it non-story content. Non-story content is not permitted on this site per the Rules & Guidelines we all agreed to when we signed up for accounts. Kindly move this to your profile or the beginning of what is currently chapter 2, which does contain story content. Take these suggestions into consideration as they will help you avoid ToS issues in the future.

Best,
Zad
Critics United

It's not weird, it's disgusting! If it was America, he would be arrested for being with a minor. There may be certain countries where it could be considered fine and normal, but not even Roy would be with a minor let alone Edward's twin sister. Furthermore, giving a cannon character a sibling they don't have isn't right either. I refuse to read this kind of story.

Non-story bio forms as chapters aren't allowed by FFN's rules. If you can't fit in the important details in the plot, making them matter more like Ed's organic (pun intended) reveal in his fight with Father Cornello that shows how he's taken a disability and turned it into a hidden strength (giving foreshadowing as to one of the manga's main themes and demonstrating Ed's crazy-smart belligerent brilliance at the same time as his automail) you could put your character bio above the actual story material of your first chapter or in your author profile page. Character background is good to work out, but this is prewriting, not something you need to present as is to your readers. The physical information isn't nearly as important as how the characters feel about the info, and both may change over the course of the story. Ed grows literally, too, but it matters only when Winry recognizes it. Mustang, Pinako, and Izumi are happy to tease him about his short temper whether he's 4'11 or 6'3. Good luck.

Interesting chapter and plot and idea