Need of a desperate rewrite. Fix the grammar and you've got a cute story. If you need help, get a Beta and 'try' hard to improve your writing skills. jsm

THIS IS FOCKING AMAZING! But I highly recommend proofreading a little more, such as adding more commas because there were some run-on sentences. I ALSO NEED LEMON SCENES! I apologize if this sounds “mean” or “too needy,” I’m not the best at constructive criticism, but this is still amazing! I NEED MORE ASTA x NOELLE! And can you also make Fana x Mars please? •/•

Awkward sentence structure and extremely fast pacing made this seem weird. You need to proofread it slightly, and start some setting and not just go into it. I highly recommend proofreading it.