Like anyone would read the book is a reference to Sam being the narrator of the Song of ice and fire isn’t it? I guess the point of it all- to leave something better than you found it. It becomes your legacy. I really enjoyed this story. And I liked the bit at the end between Nick and Cindy. It made sense and gave symmetry to Betty and Jimmy.

“What is dead may never die”. I appreciate the Ironborn motto (or the words of House Greyjoy I forget which it is). It’s among the most important in GoT along with Lannister’s always pay their debts and winter is coming. I think it’s a hidden poetic reference to the white walkers as well. “She who proclaims the sentence should lift her blade”. Rest In Peace Ned Stark. Maybe Dany should listen to that advice sometime.

I’m actually rewatching GoT right now in preparation for the final season and I’m amazed by how differently I perceive it now that I’m older.
There is a parallel between the war of the kings becoming less important than the war of the living vs the dead and how the war among the kids was overtaken by the war between the kids and the adults.
“My name is Cindy Vortex. You killed my family. I'm ready to die." Was a great callback to “My name is Cindy Vortex. You shouldn’t have come here. Prepare to die.”
I enjoyed Cindy’s mental flashes throughout this chapter, especially the last one with Jimmy.

Nice! I love that started at the point where the progress made is about to be put to the final test. Cindy’s gripe to Ethan about people saying it’s boring while her day is filled with progressively worse surprises is just hilarious. Cindy’s skills in battle and your vivid, realistic depictions of these bloody melees never cease to impress me. She reminds me of Charlize Theron in her action heroine roles.

Quite the fitting end to this tale of heroism, valor, sacrifices, and overly-brutal melees. I can't imagine the costs that will be required to renovate the school, after this utter disaster. And I thought the damages from last time were bad.

At least the kids got something for their trouble. No homework for such a long period seemed unlikely, especially considering the children didn't really have much in the way of negotiation power. Ultimately, they would've been driven out of the school one way or another. Probably by SWAT teams, as you mentioned beforehand. From an administrative perspective, the concessions they received were more than enough considering the damage they had done.

I'm skeptical of the student council thing. I was on one of those not too long ago, and our power was practically non existent. That being said, I doubt they would give much weight to the opinions of middle schoolers, even considering how smart they are for their age.

My largest criticism of this story was the thing I talked about before, that being the mostly secondary role played by Jimmy. I haven't a problem with a Cindy-centric story (there's a surprising amount of them on here). It just seems unlike him to not take charge and direct the situation, considering his track record.

Other than that, the story was pretty top notch. The fighting was well choreographed, the characters acted largely believable, and the plot and story were more than entertaining enough to draw me in. The scenes (as in the kingdoms, and various areas of the school in which the story takes place) were well designed, and aside from the functioning ecosystem in the river, everything was in the realm of possibility.

Not much else for me to say, I think. I look forward to your next story, should you even desire to provide us with another. I greatly enjoyed the correspondence we shared over the course of your writing (and my reviewing) and hope to do it again sometime.

Pretty good ending. It wouldn't surprise me if Jimmy finds out that he really can learn from his elders; again, as Cindy pointed out, most of the adults the gang has met are either full jerks or well-meaning yet incompetent, so it makes sense they don't have a high opinion of them.

Keep the good writing.

That was certainly an eventful chapter. Lots of unexpected twists!

Velites? Scutums? I didn't expect you to go Roman on me. I suppose it's appropriate, what with one of the settlements being called "Minerva." As a fan of classical antiquity, their addition was appreciated.

First thing I didn't expect was the adults using firearms. From the way things turned out, the defenders didn't either. Talk about scummy tactics. As if they needed another advantage over a bunch of pre-pubescent children. And still they lose! Pathetic! Was Varus commanding them?

Secondly, I certainly didn't expect Jimmy to die. Really blindsided me with that one. I had to re-read the line once to be certain I hadn't misinterpreted it. I'm sure it wasn't any better for Cindy when Libby also kicked the bucket. She's practically lost everyone.

To be honest, I actually really thought Cindy was finally going to die. She just keeps getting her ass handed to her, and the number of injuries is really starting to add up. Yet she trudges on, ever the trooper. That scene with Clarke really sealed her fate (or so I thought), especially when she blacked out and had that dream. But of course, she persevered (some bloody how) and brought the schoolboard to its knees... sort of. I mean, they won't get the prize... but hey, it's the thought that counts!

I was wondering when the cavalry was going to be sent in. Unless I failed to notice it, there wasn't really a mention of any Canterbury forces on the ground when the adults sallied into the breach. I kept waiting for them to come in, and I thought for a moment they had cut their losses and resolved to defend their own walls, but they eventually saved the day. Props to them for waiting til fifty-ninth minute of the eleventh hour.

Can't wait for the epilogue chapter, to see what the kids (hopefully including those who were felled) get as a result of this horror show. Hopefully some basic medical care, at the least. Godspeed.

As always, very good job, and great way to mix the present and flashback scenes.

Keep the good writing.

Great Chapter! Really loving the long length of these. You can't ever have too much good writing.

I'm almost sort of sad to see that Tom fellow die. I can appreciate any character with a little southern drawn, no matter how illicit their actions. That water scene was crazy intense, too. I'm certain Jimmy has been manufacturing and injecting all of his friends with Anabolic steroids. There isn't any other explanation for how in the hell Cindy managed to not only survive herself, but also save that Kenneth fool who had plunged in.

Never thought I'd read anything where Cindy gives Sheen a hug. Definitely surprised me with that one.

As soon as Cindy mentioned the absence of the other guards at their posts, it was clear something was up. Sentries never disappear for mellow reasons in action stories. Otherwise it wouldn't be an action story. I didn't really expect Ethan to die, though, so kudos there. I can't believe Cindy managed to take on all of those adults, either. That's probably the closest she's come to death (both in the game and outside of it) in both this and The Prize.

I hope you're going to talk about what happened in the grand Crusade in the chapters to come. I really enjoyed the segment (despite its nature) in The Prize when they wiped out the river, and all of the people in the basement. I'd also like to see this Tom guy's backstory, and hopefully learn how exactly a man-made freshwater ecosystem has formed in the hallway of a junior high school.

I look forward to the next chapter. Take all the time you need, chief.

As always, excellent scenes. I never watched Game of Thrones so the whole plot is new for me.

Keep the good writing.

Omg Cindy is fulfilling the prophecy by fostering the alliance- I love it. Her fighting prowess is matched by her strategic wisdom. Again I feel like Betty might betray them or the 24 hours will run out before they can return to Minerva. Also I recognized a GoT reference in Cindy’s coup de grace: Jon Snow shooting Mans Raider in the heart so he doesn’t suffer death by fire. He knew he’d get hell from Stannis (the king who had just saved them) and the night watch but it was the right thing to do.

Glad to see the gang reunited and what Jimmy’s been up to in Minerva. Slightly afraid Betty will betray them. I was really impressed with how well everyone communicated, coordinated and negotiated. Angie’s rage seems hypocritical considering her earlier lecture to Cindy. I hope Jimmy and Cindy kiss at some point.

Last chapter’s name signaled a surprise massacre to me. Glad to see the GoT references continue. I admire Cindy’s rage that made her the most fearsome person in all the land for those few minutes. I liked the side battle. The theme of the last story is “we’d do anything to protect the people we love” AKA sacrifice. The theme of this one seems to be “you have to own up to your actions” AKA redemption. We haven’t met Sheen or Libby yet. Maybe Sheen is with Jimmy?

Man I am so hyped for the rest of this story. I hope you have some more long chapters planned for the future. I love this stuff!

The absolute dedication these kids have to their craft is ridiculous, to the point of where it's sort of unbelievable - at least in the facet of where every kid actually "dies" when they get hit. I don't know a whole lot of middle school aged kids who would respect fictitious combat rules so well. But this is Retroville.

I am sort of sorry to see Carl go, but I feel like you sort of did this because it's hard to figure out what to do with him (Correct me if i am wrong, sir). You can't really leave him out totally, because he's so close to the group, but if you do add him in he's just kind of there, not really doing anything (which you acknowledged in one of your blogs about The Final Battle.) Still, at least he served some purpose here, as a Canterbury Martyr.

I like what you did with Minerva. The whole political alliance marriage between Betty and Jimmy reeks of Medieval times, and fits well with the setting. I sorta-kinda hoped you would do something different, like actually have Jimmy order the attack on Canterbury, rather than have him be deceived. It honestly would be pretty far fetched without some clever back story for the attack, but I think it's an interesting what-if all the same.

The dark brotherhood is an interesting addition, as I was just waiting for you to bring back your favorite background-turned-main-character Ike. It seems like with the end of this chapter, he'll be willing to work with Jimmy and the rest of the school. It also makes me wonder if any other settlements/factions have formed beneath the radar of the school's larger cities. Perhaps some sort of robber baron/bandit party has come together. Only time will tell.

I don't know if Cindy's plan will pan out. I think it would be sort of interesting if it didn't, like there was some really obvious hole in the plan that they forget about that spells their doom. Not that I would have a problem with them winning, of course. To the victor go the spoils.

Writing is top notch, a few overlooked typos aside. I look forward to chapter 7 - and to the coming crusade.

Omg this is what Ms. Wolfe meant by unite fighting sides. But I think the fealty they swore to Angie isn’t really that binding. In the end, Nick and Cindy started out together and they’ll finish together. They can’t be looking forward to fighting their dates/significant others. I think they could just ask to leave peacefully.

Finally, I have read chapter 3. And a fun ride it was, oh thinker of quiet things, a fun ride it was.

I'm kinda liking the Nick and Cindy camaraderie, overall. The dynamic you give them in this story is unusual indeed - they're friends who actually have good chemistry, yet thus far, I don't detect any romantic undertones. Will be interested in seeing how this progresses. Even if things legitimately start off platonic, wouldn't one of them starting thinking thoughts, after a while?

I love how tough Angie's underlings are. They mean business. And Angie herself? All regal, fierce, and maternal? I loved it. She's grown into her own, and has changed since The River.

And oysters, clams and cockles. On a wheelbarrow. I caught that.

Of course Carl is doing his signature line from Romeo and Juliet. He just loves that line. Glad that he looks dashing, though I wonder now what role he'll play in the rest of the story.

I like the rules for the prize, and how they're engraved on a tablet. These people are pulling out all the stops for authenticity here.

It's nice how Cindy has a chance to turn over a new leaf here. But I think she'll be forced to reject that tempting offer.

The attack on Canterbury was cool. Well-timed. I love how they set things on fire. Pyrotechnics too, these people are so dedicated! The battle was fierce, and tense, and great. And I like how Bennett allowed "that rat" to go spread the news. These kids are just so cool.

And King James and Queen Betty. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. Eager to see what happens next.

Anyway, really enjoying this story so far. You're prose is still really awesome, and I can see that you're enjoying yourself here. The pacing is really good too - you seem like an old hat to the whole writing thing. Cool, confident, and effective. So great stuff - I'm reading a really talented writer here.