Heartbreaking... But a lovely twist on Dudley and Harry's relationship.

Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #1

Examiner: Amber

Grade: 18.5/20 - EE (Exceeds Expectations)

Feedback: "I feel like you really nailed Dudley's personality here. I also like that we see more of a softer side to him, and that it still fits with canon. Descriptions were subtle, but I feel like they worked well. I've never read anything quite like this, where Dudley and Harry were friends at one point. I found this to be completely original. The interactions here were brief but felt believable. The pacing here felt a bit off. The scene jumps didn't transition well and were sort of jarring to read. Dialogue was good. One critique is that your prose was choppy. There were a lot of short sentences that could have been combined to make this smoother. The prompt was used clearly. I like that you used it in such an innocent, simple way. That made it feel original to me. I feel like you could have explored it a little more in depth, though. There wasn't much plot, but this was more of character study, so that's understandable. I like the depth of this, getting to have a look on Dudley's head. I didn't spot any plot holes. This was an enjoyable story. You gave us a beautiful background for Dudley. He didn't staff out as a bully and just… wow. My heart. Such a beautifully crafted piece. Spelling and grammar were good. No major issues spotted."