I personally prefer the 1st version of this story you had.

Why did I get a SECOND email notification, days later, for a chapter that had already been released and I'd already read? The fuck, dude?

So worth the wait for this chapter. I almost thought you had given up on this story.

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Interesting

That is an interesting twist

I wish you well in your future writing but I can't continue with this. You've lifted too much from the show to keep me engaged. Good luck with your writing.

See my review from last chapter...

I wish that you had more original material in this chapter. You basically kept the same scenes and dialogue and inserted a few lines for Artemis here and there.

While this certainly entertaining, the big exposition dump the Noble Six divulged so much information that would have been considered classified that I almost stopped reading. Spartan are easily the most inflexible and uncompromising about debriefing protocol. Hopefully this is the only area I'll have trouble with.

HOOOH BOY. HERE WE GO!

I’m confused. Is this like the Anakin Solo robot on centerpoint station?

That Pelican, could it have been the one that Jorge was near when the super carrier exploded? That mech, doesn't sound very friendly.

Between this story and the original, there are definitely some improvements. Some of what I read makes a little more sense at least.

On a personal note, I think I preferred Faunus Six to this one, but it's your show. I won't criticize you for it. Keep it coming.

are you still wrighting this?