"Hey you carrot top." It should be "Hey, you, carrot top."

I'm already having issues with this, for more than just grammar though. It jumps right into the story at a strange place, with no background added, and no explanation. Then it ends up in the most boring and overdone Arc in all of naruto fanfiction. I'm sure you Have a reason for making such a generic beginning, but I'm not sure I really want to know what that reason is. All I got from that first chapter is
1. Ichigo was part of an experiment that made him take over for his other self.
2. He for some unexplained reason has kaguya in his head... KAGUYA. the Otsutsuki that's sealed in the moon at this point in cannon... Just wow. It would have been great though if it was explained properly in the first chapter.
3. Naruto is a girl and knows her parents.
4. Sasuke is a girl with a new name that I've seen a few people use.

Also, i could write this chapter in less than 5 minutes of I didn't bother counting the time spent editing it. 1,000 words is extremely short for a chapter and not what I would consider worth reading most times. A chapter in a novel might have up to 12,000 words or more depending on the novel you know? That's why I think 5,000 to 6,000 words is a good start if you want to get good.

I hope you take the time to read this and give it proper consideration without getting upset as most people seem to on this site.

Before I read this, I will point out that just saying you have bad grammar doesn't excuse you from having to improve. You should still at least try to get better you know. Most people don't seem to know this, so I figured I would say it before I start. I will likely point out what I can find, and stop reading if it gets too bad. Don't take offense to what I say though. it's because I care, and want everyone to do well at what they like. And you wouldn't be writing on this site if you didn't like doing so.

thx for the chapter

Perfect and update soon please

So are u going to tell us when u make a ao3 account and will it be the same storys or different ones

din't Naruko hates Ichigo?, what's up with the sudden interest and I talking about before she had see his dick

when ichigo fuck satsuki and naruko

What the hell did happen
The story began so well and now, there is no logical plot
Only smut. Is this how the reader in the narutoverse feel with Jiraiya’s book ?

Excellent

what the hell is going on on this chapter!? I have no idea...

Perfect and update soon please

... I feel like there’s supposed to be a chapter in between this and the last one. Like something is missing.

Minato no maybe my brain hurts

Perfect and update soon please
Ichigo x harem