Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #8

Examiner: Angel

Grade: 17.5/20 - EE (Exceeds Expectations)

Feedback: "Ha! I snorted a little bit. I don't think the intention for this fic was that reaction, but I can't help it when jerkish characters' faces fall on the floor. Snickers and snorts aside, I think that Lily Luna held the most personality here. Granted it was in her point of view, so it was easy to tap into her mind, but I think that Teddy and even Janelle and Richard could have gotten a little more depth for their characters. They're all pretty much blank slates, so I won't be too hard for it. I liked the incorporation of Molly in a sense as well as the peaches. It was nice :) The interactions were natural for the most part, but that confrontation with Richard did come out a little forced in the natural flow of the story. I've read a few Roommate!AUs before, but you managed to set yours away from the others with flair. The flow was pretty consistent for the most part, though, as I mentioned before, that confrontation came off a little forced. So it rocked the flow just a tad. It wasn't a major thing to dock points for, though. The task was completed and the prompt was used. Dick was so not welcomed in their place, and I'd kick him out myself. Your plot had detail, but the details fell flat in a way? It boils down to the dept that everything was given, and without it, it wasn't as grabbing or tightly woven as it could be. It definitely has the potential, though. I felt that the kiss and overall pace of the story got rushed when the exes and the confrontation came into play. While it felt complete once I reached the end, I wish it could have been longer. Still, I had to snicker at the fic. It's still a fic of humor and triumph if you ask me, and there could be some readers who would agree with me. Just a little polish and you're home free ;) There was a minor spelling error and a letter that didn't need capitalizing, but overall nothing was here that would take away from the story. The story was within word count, and the necessary information was in your note. Way to go, Sammy!"