This isnt the empire has "common sense", but more like the Japanese lack common sense (or maybe its you?). even the beginning chapters really shows how unrealistic your idea of japanese coping with situation, especially when a bunch of weirdos suddenly murdered a family and UNDERREACTED
Someone sneaked up thru the gate and the japanese didnt even know? Even so far to give one of the allied kingdom gatling gun? Not buying this. Common sense? This is getting nonsese
You probably not gonna continue? Lmao, probably for the best

Well i think this is interesting story to see jsdf at a backfoot getting kicked around some, maybe have a story opposite of normal gate stories- empire has competent senate or molt isn't a big di*khead, maybe some of those vassals go with anti japan agents whatever they are and idk give me some more twists

I'm being kind of picky here but why would Pina think of the Japanese as cowards? Only a fool would not realize the advantage of projectile weapons. And Pina certainly isn't a fool, which is showed again and again in the canon series. Yeah I know I'm being picky but I just thought that was strange.

The first contact was not just "not only the best one".
Everything else is fine, amusing and interesting; but the first contact was completely unprofessional. Yes, you said drones were already sent to explore, and fundamental physical properties of the special region proved to be inhabitable. But, I can't believe the first humans sent there would be broadcast worldwide when there isn't even some kind military settlement to ensure safety. Maybe the drones went far enough to ensure that there are no real threat just 3 military personnel and convoy couldn't solve?
And when they approached the shepherd, did they just plainly spoke to that humanoid IN JAPANESE?, heck, even speaking in any world known language would have been a mistake because it's another world. If they were to find intelligent alien life, they should assume they may have completely different languages, culture... there are many variables so a good bunch of scientific sociologists, biologists and high tech real-time non-contact-need measuring apparatuses should have been a good add to the first expedition. Maybe not even approach was needed but just observing whatever the shepherd was doing:
First, if there is any threat or appears eventually one
Second, well, it's physique (it's humanoid)
Third, physical reactions (so if it's humanoid, does that mean its body language is similar, can we read it the way we read people when socializing? Does it use its mouth and tongue in a similar way to produce what kind of sounds?)
If everything goes smoothly up to this point, they can use some body language to mean no threat, and the scientist must be furiously observing and trying to define that language...
Now, actually talking might prove somewhat useful if there are similarities to Earthly human languages but still...
I wouldn't criticize with this so long explanation, but understanding that your fanfic has implied that the first contact makes more sense and so the interactions through the rest of the story, I couldn't help but be actually more serious and detailing about everything I can come up with.
How the otherworldly spies managed to sneak out, I would not complain about for the sake of the plot, which is worth it since it caught in my next must-read list, but this...
You should be more careful in this thing, it's even the entire world that is involved after forcing Japan, so there should have been more professional and skeptical procedures.

Just...just please do a re-write on this story and some offshoot stories for experimentation. Your OC is too hero-like and you are aggressively-mocking the Japanese military, who can still beat America in a SOLO battle with modern arms!
is dying because of folks like you.

Making good fics that last 5-10 cpts before draining their creativity too fast.

Listen to the critics and do a re-write.

I'm sorry, but I can't read much more of this. I get that writing an OC is hard, but I don't think anyone would like them as family murdering "mercenarys". It's ok to be pro saderan, but i cannot approve of making the Saderans OP.
The military and police officers are highly incompetent, and the plot armor for the OC's are immense. Multiple gunshot wounds and surviving a close-range grenade blast? That's impossible.
The sheer stupidity of the Japanese law enforcement and military shocks me.

Yeah, no. I'm not buying the story, it's more ridiculous than canon at this point.

The author and even some in the reviews believe it's not possible for the JSDF to easily defeat the army in canon.

They give the reason being powerful elvan magic that summons lightning and thunder that can destroy electronics of tanks, jets, humvees etc, except said magic using elves didn't even exist in the actual army in canon and instead lived away from humans as isolated tribes.

More importantly if they were really THAT powerful there's no way the humans of the Empire could have enslaved them in the first place.

Finally, as many MANY reviewers have pointed out modern military vehicles like tanks and planes are already hardened to the effects of lightning strikes. So unless they stand still like morons it's not going to work.

Another thing almost everything that is in this fic is the author giving the Empire abilities they never possessed in canon like invisible mercenaries with more mages than we ever saw in the canon anime.

Plus, people on earth are idiots here with literally not one person taking a video of these strange people with swords and everything including actual demi humans, and the police sending a handful of pistols against mercenaries who have massacred entire families.

They also don't fire when the mercenaries literally monologue that they would kill the police and stand still like idiots. Then the soldiers and police get into a scuffle whereas the actual criminals are left unattended.

To make things worse these mercenaries manage to steal weapons in Japan without anyone finding out and then proceed to outsmart both the police and the military which frankly should be impossible.

It finally gets more stupid when some unknown military force from earth manages to get into the Gate through the JSDF without them noticing and gave the Saderans fricking gattling guns.

You know what? This isn't common sense, it's nonsense.

This is just another 'rational' fic written by an author trying to make his story 'realistic' by making the people in the real world act like idiots and showing up how original he is by doing so.

In short people don't waste your time reading this fic expecting it to be a clever and well written story with relatable characters. It's really not, the main characters are basically sociopaths, earth is full of morons and the Empire is the author's pet.

No, sorry I made it to chap9 but I just can't take this story anymore. The summary did sound pretty interesting with an empire that had more brains than in the original series.

However, since then the apparent "main characters" have turned out to also be the stories antagonists, which makes enjoying the reading pretty difficult.

In addition to that, it doesn't feel like a "smarter empire" (this far) it only feels like an utterly incompetent, poorly trained and almost hilariously useless japanese policeforce.

In other words, it just feels like a story that has taken the "stupidity shoe" and switched it from the left foot to the right one instead.

In this world, soldiers aim their guns at policemen before policemen aim their guns at known murderers that are also known to be armed and dangerous.

Not to repeat myself over and over, but again, I must say, really? The murderers as has been said, have killed 6 people and injured another half a dozen or something. The police aren't gonna send a dozen normal officers with revolvers to do the job.

So far reading this has been a bit infuriating. As it would seem, around the time the gate opened every person employed by the police with half a brain went on vacation and local disabled people were conscripted to substitute them. I've been seeing how the police react to mercenaries' actions and while I may not be an expert or an officer myself I know enough to know the witch wouldn't be treated that nicely. There's also the thing that she wouldn't be alive. If officers have good reason to believe a criminal is going to harm them or a bystander they are trained to shoot to kill, strangely I haven't seen that happen in crucial times.
Also, the author answered to something saying the Japanese wouldn't send soldiers without knowing 100% they would be safe. Excuse me but, if you know your troops would be 100% safe, why would you send them?

If feels like the story is going because you gave the empire common sense by taking it away from the other side. There are so many errors that japan does during this that are just cringe-worthy that even the anime does better. If you want to buff up the empire then fine but don't make the other side a bunch of incompetent idiots, that doesn't make any sense.

Hello there;
Your work is amazing, and if people can't see that then that's their loss; it's quite rare to see a Gate story that takes things seriously. Almost every story I read is poorly made and the content is worse; that's why it's awesome to see a story like yours. You pour your heart and soul into this work, and I'm very grateful for that, if you ever need help writing, or need someone to bounce ideas off of, I'd be happy to help

I'm sorry but... This is bad. Making OC characters is difficult, yes, but... you have to actually add qualities that make the reader sympathize/relate to them. Why would anyone want a bunch of unlikeable hypocritical family-killers to succeed.

"She was no murderer. She was a mercenary." Right before murdering innocent families and then going to kill more people who didn't know what was happening. Yeah, sure.

This does not make the character sympathetic when you add the 'sad backstory' it just makes them hypocritical and seem like an inhumane monster. This isn't good writing.

Hi arawn92!

It's been such a long time since I last left a review here. I have been reading all your chapters, but did not see the need for a critical review yet. So here is a review.

I have taken a liking to your story so far, I would like to know where this will eventually lead up too. So please write more. It helps the community out as well. Don't forget your story's purpose, as it would make it loose the plot and make it very hard to write more chapters.

I can understand your frustration of not getting any gratifying reviews and compliments as I am too writing a GATE fanfic as well, that was way back in 2018. I did not see any more positive reviews and more reviews for me to keep on going. So I gave it a temporary hold. Until, I had more free time and decided to go back and finish it once and for all. As I saw my story's purpose and its plot, and I needed to complete it, to show the whole world about it.

I have not given up yet. So you should not give up, you have already way more chapters and reviews than me to begin with. God bless you and good luck my friend. Happy writing. Peace out!