This is great

This chapter is not bad at all, the part with the weird guy was pretty funny.

The thing I like about this chapter (I could say that for the first and the fourth one) is that it doesn't skip steps, it starts as a the same status quo than the games (friendship for Asuka and Yumi, one-sided love for Yagyuu and Hibari...). In order words, there is character development, and that's what some chapters of your story (like the second one) and a lot of other romance fanfictions lack of in my opinion.

Furthermore, as I said in my first review, the way you write is pretty good, it's pretty pleasant to read. To be honest, the real issue of your story is the NSFW chapters (I've already explained why in my previous review), because by excluding the NSFW chapters, the only bad one is the second one (and you said you agree, another proof that you can do great things).

However, to be honest, I rather not look at the previous chapter ("HibarixMinori (NSFW)", god damn it...), too bad, but it's your story, I can't enforce you to do what you want.

Nut

Much better than the previous chapter, but still uninteresting (plus, Miyabi already know that Imu is in love with her but whatever).

You know what ? I'll explain right now why (IN MY OPINION) Yuri romance (with the real characters or a female OC) aren't better than male OC fictions.

Even if that's not really a issue, I think it's important to remind, Senran Kagura is not a romance anime/game/manga and even less a Yuri. I mean, only three or four characters are confirmed as gay (Imu, Yagyuu, Ayame and maybe Homura), in case you ask, Katsuragi said she's interested in guys and Haruka just love cute people (we don't know if she's really in love with Hibari). Furthermore, the only times when romance was more than a joke was :
- In the first game, when a boy confessed his love to Asuka.
- In Estival Versus, when Sayuri reminded herself why she decided to be with Hanzou.
Not really Yuri... and there is also Rin who is in love with Kiriya (it has been confirmed in Peach Beach Splash). But whatever, it doesn't mean that Yuri is forbidden.

Second, what is the point of romance between the girls ? I mean, for example, why it could be interesting by matchmaking Yomi and Ikaruga ? Sorry but except for personnal fantasies, I don't see any, because it doesn't bring anything to both characters.
Furthermore, I can understand YomiXIkaruga or HarukaXRyouna, but sometimes... Just why ? For example, I just saw a Yuri MiyabiXYumi, just, they've almost never had personnal moments in games or anime, so, why that matchmaking ?
And I prefer not to speak about incest romance ("Don't like, don't read", lol, that just means "It's shit, but don't tell me it is"...).

To be honest, when it's just romance, it can be still good, but the real issue is when people write porn fiction... I mean, shit, no one wants porn fictions (just go to a Hentai site if you want to), there is no way it can be good...
I know, Senran Kagura is a sexy game, but the point is precisely that despite of the ecchi stuff, Senran Kagura can be a very serious game with realistic stories, by making porn fictions, you just prove that you don't understand what that series is about (funfact, in the original plot of the first game, all the characters should die).

But like I said, it's just my opinion.

...
Please, tell me you were trolling, you can't be serious...
That's one of the worst things I've never read about Senran Kagura, what the hell did you have in mind when you wrote this ?! Senran Kagura is not a hentai for God's sake...
I know, Ryouna is a masochist and Haruka a sadist but shit, that's not even funny...

I'm going to read the next chapter, I'm still curious.

Ok, I'll be honest, the first chapter was just uninteresting but not really "bad".
However, this one is bad, first because it's cliché as hell but also because the plot lacks credibilities, let me explain why :
- Homura don't dare drink in the same bottle that Asuka, okay, but don't make her okay with Futomaki Roll Play three minutes later...
- They have been surprised by rain (because watching the weather is for pussies), okay, but dude, they are shinobi, they can stay (dressed) hours or even days under a waterfall for training sessions, do you really think that they will be afraid of catching a cold or being wet ?
- "But we don't have anything to cut it with" - Seriously ? They just used BLADES ! And it's just a futomaki, they can easely split it with their bare hands

I agree with Major Mike and YuriChan about male OC sert-inserts, that's shit, but that is barely better, I will read the other chapters, I hope they are better (I'm sure you can do great things, your writing style isn't bad).

Pretty good overall, were some fetishes I didn't like but given the characters I can't say I'm surprised.

Looking forward to who you work with next

Wow! I mean...oh, my goodness. Going for the extreme huh? I'll be honest, sex toys are fine, but the hot curling iron? Man...that's gotta be a little rough, don't you think? Ahaha...

I'm not complaining or anything, it's just a little bit on the extreme side. But if Ryona loves it so much, I can't complain. hehe~!

But dang, other than that, you did a really good job of portraying the characters. Great writing there, friend~! Hope to see more soon~!

Well, well, my friend~

Hoo-rrah! 1st Review, Btches~!

Ahhh~ Yeees~ The Old Married Couple~! The most OG of OG Senran waifus~ This was so nice, very, very nice~

A pretty badass, action-packed opening. Asuka and Homura doing what they do best~! And then...oh my goodness, dat good ol' "Senran Kagura" brand of innuendo and comedy~ LOL

So, so, so cute, and...the Futomaki Roll Game? ...doesn't roll of the tongue, but hey, it made Asuka and Homs share a sweet, sweet smooch, so I'll happily allow it~ XD

Great work~! Who's next~? Who's next~? How...'bout...hmmm~ Yumi x Asuka~? :3 A...Café Date, perhaps~? A nice talk, some fluff over tea or coffee? :3

Update ASAP! That's an order!

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

This is a great start to this Yuri based stories for this series. I'm SO getting tired of seeing Male self inserts and everything. About time someone else other than Mike Powell and I write some Yuri stories.

Anyways, this is so cute! Hibari and Yagyuu are a good start. Yagyuu's sick and Hibari's taking care of her. I think it's adorable, especially the ending.

Well, if you would let me, I would like to send ideas here, via PM or review. I went on discord, created an account and it wouldn't allow me to comment. So if you would,I would like to send ideas your way in this site, especially other Senran Pairings.

Have a nice day!

Well, well, my friend~

Hoo-rrah! 1st Review, Btches~!

Ouu I've waited for something like this~! Oh my goodness~!

First off: I have to say: welcome to "Senran Kagura" and thank you for adding to Yuri-chan and I's works in this section. She and I are like, the only ones giving this section the rightful yuri exclusive love it deserves, with everyone else just spamming their pathetic-ass, sad excuses for self-insert male power fantasies. It's absolutely disgusting. Just, guh.

This? This is a breath of fresh air. A very, very, very much needed breath of fresh air in this category.

Now, that out of the way...this was friggin' adorable and heartwarming. *W*

A little training accident leads Yagyuu to Paradise, and I mean that in the funniest, goofiest, most absolutely heartmeltingly adorable way~ *A* Just, Yagyuu and Hibari...d'awwwwwwwwwwwwww~! Such innocence, love and with a dash of...XD Well...a dash of Yagyuu being Yagyuu~ LOL That girl, I swear~

And also, Nurse Hibari~? Oh my goodness~ Yagyuu is a lucky, lucky girl~ *O*

This was absolutely wonderful, my friend! I'm absolutely keeping both eyes on you~!

Mission Start!
Update ASAP! That's an order! I wonder who's next!

Semper-Fi! Carry on!