totally screwed up shit fic in fact completely useless and with no new ideas, so come on, what the hell do you have in your brain?

Excellent update

I felt like the fight scene was just a mess. A bunch of random stuff (armors, battle modes, etc.) that we had no real context for/knowledge of, and some missing details that made it seem disorganized. No offense meant by this, just some criticism.

Seems like it could be fun, but jumps around too much, incoherently. Narrative randomly jumps thousands of years within sentences without explanation, too many skips that don't make sense; for instance a line stating that something happened in his fifth year, immediately followed by a time skip to his first year. Said skip, like many others, is only a few lines long. The author has a clear picture of the scene, but does not give us enough to share that picture, and the brevity prevents it from having any impact or meaning for us. i am hopeful that this story settles a bit once the extended introduction is over, should be great. Thanks for the story.

Amusing and enjoyable chapter.
I seek more.

"he can suck it" Koneko... But sick what?

nice chapter thx for writing it
and for getting back at koneko perhaps boat loads for catnip

But sirius was already pardoned...

Damn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so far Damn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so far Damn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so far Damn this is a masterpiece and definitely needs to be read. And incredible job Author-san and keep up the amazing job you've done so far

All I have to say to this chapter, is has someone been playing Borderlands 2?

Somehow, this chapter is even worse that the first. I can't tell if this is a case of a person who speaks English as a second language, or a case where someone survived a lobotomy and decided they knew how to write.

Your writing is extremely incoherent. Half the time your sentences don't even make any sense. They're just a strange, mangled collection of words with no real meaning.

Then there's your weird ass attempt at "Ye Olde English" pseudo-Shakespearean shit. But you don't even know how to write normal modern English, so obviously you also fucked that up. You're just throwing in shit that you think sounds old time-y without actually knowing what it means. You have Ddraig using the word "thy" as if it were the word "my". Which makes zero sense.

Also, you keep having Harry say "Accelerate". Ddraig is the Boosted Gear. He should be saying Boost. Even if I think "Boost" sounds retarded. You even have him Balance Break, yet he's still calling it the wrong name. Also, even if Ddraig were pretending to be something other than the Boosted Gear (if that's even what you're attempting), you can't justify a balance break at that point. That's some high level stuff, and I doubt whatever half ass knock-off (Twice Critical?) that Sacred Gear would otherwise be could be used like that. At least, probably not.

I don't know why I'm bothering to argue names and lore here, when you can't even do basic writing correctly.

This prologue is incoherent and also seems to smash together a bunch of random shit like Naruto and possibly the Dresden Files. It's a mess.

The writing itself is also just weird and bad. It's never clear what you actually mean because you're either really vague or immediately contradict yourself.

excellent update

Nice update. Thanks for writing it, and bye for now.

Do you not know what's happening in your own story? You already freed Sirius... Dear god and it's only chapter 3...