Uh ohhhhh... Ginny Talk. Talk Ginny.
Talking With Ginny. Talking TO Ginny...Bat Boget hexes... Uh-ohhhhh...

This is one EXCELLENT story! I really like the new scenario! Harry laying waste to the point of magical and physical exhaustion is an all too probable theme if he ever had.

I like this story, or at least the idea of it. The weakness is the characters. They don’t act believably. But still, the idea is interesting and the writer is to be congratulated for putting pen to paper. I will be following it.

This is an interesting premise, though some things seem off. Harry’s concern for the Dursleys, for example. They abuse the heck out of him but he’s acting like a concerned, loving nephew. Which is incredibly weird.

Thank you for the gift of this chapter.

"The story of the graveyard had her deciding to get Cedric Diggory a posthumous Order of Merlin."

For standing in one place and dying? Thats called a Darwin award.

awesome
pls update

I think a better title for the story would be, "When Harry killed Tom / Voldemort."
I think all his relationships with women are born out of debt, I think you want to mess Ron's sister up with that too.
Toks and Narcissa with older women and incalculably more experienced than him, maybe Toks not so much, that would be a fundamental point in their not so healthy relationship given the fact that he is born from a debt with Harry.

Okay, so this is one of the best stories I’ve ever read and I need more.

Same guest here. The other option to improve the Harry-Voldemort fight is to cut out the 'witty' banter. You don't have to change much other than make it quick and dirty, like a real fight.

Make Voldemort and friends attack Harry, and get the fight going non-stop until Harry gets cornered. Oh, and make the Dementors glide into the yard (seeing as they can't fly in book-canon). From there, everything can go as usual in your fic.

Now, I don't want to come across as a flaming troll, so here's some more constructive criticism:

1. Tonks's reaction when Voldemort and friends shows up should be fear, and not tears. Remember that, at this point, she's a qualified Auror. They're trained to deal with the unexpected.

2. Don't make Harry come running out yelling "TOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" like a cartoon character. Rather, make him freeze up in fear, and then try to take cover while Voldemort advances on him.

3. No talking, no quirky remarks. Just duelling.

The problem with this chapter isn't so much the grammar and cartoonish behaviour of the characters (Tonks and Voldemort acting too ... melodramatic, I guess) but rather the battle itself.

You do realise that this is Little Whinging, right? It's, like, a neighbourhood that's 99.8% Muggle, 0.1% Squib, and 0.1 wizard. OK, so I made those figures up, but you know what I mean.

Little Whinging is described as being a neat suburb with identical houses practically on top of one another, and where nobody has any high walls or anything that really blocks out sight of their neighbours' properties.

So Voldemort rocking up with his squad and suddenly starting a big magical-duel simply breaks my suspension of disbelief completely. Even if the battle takes place in the Dursleys' garden/yard/whatever, there's no way that the neighbours won't hear. And there's no way that everyone's away from home.

Also the Trace would've picked up the first sign of magic in this place, and the Ministry would've immediately sent a warning. After that, with repeated use of magic here (and offensive, duelling spells, no less), they would've dispatched Ministry members ASAP to check what the heck is going on here.

Just like the HP films tended to forget with their fancy use of magic in Muggle public (i.e. Harry and Tonks flying at the boat in film 5, the trio Apparating in front of a bus in film 7, etc.), there's this thing called the International Statute of Secrecy that the books make quite a big deal of.

If you really wanted a duel between Harry and the Death Eaters, perhaps it's best to rewrite the first chapter. Make it, for example, so that Harry is out in public in the evening (the play park, perhaps?) and then Voldemort and the Death Eaters arrive.

You can explain Voldemort's breaching of the blood protection on Privet Drive in any number of fanon ways, but it's beyond the suspension of disbelief to blatantly violate the Statute of Secrecy and not expect an immediate, big-time Ministry response.

Not even Lucius can suck up enough to have Fudge ignore this kind of international crime.

Oh how I truly hope you stick with this story to the end and dont cut off beforehand! Great job so far. Any idea how your updates are panning out?

What a fucking soft ass twerp. Made him good enough to kill Voldemort and his followers, but yet you make him upset about doing and saying things that he had every right to. Especially with those eavesdropping or hiding information.

Like it and looking forward to more...
I will say the writing from chapter one was terrible and read like 1960s Japanese stereo instructions... but here we are on chap five and its like a different writer has stepped in, a very much improved writer... so yes... I'm looking forward to the next chapters...
I like Tonks and Harry... and I like Harry/Fleur... I even like Harry Hermione... But please, for my sanity... no Ginny... I skip over all stories with Harry/Ginny... God's above... I would pair him with Pansy and Nev's Gran before Ginny... I would even pair Harry with Mad eye Moody before Ginny... I say KILL IT QUICK BEFORE IT BREEDS...

Keep up the good work!