hope you continue this

The pacing kinda all over the place and no structure on the dialogue part, the story is engaging but confusing to read. Would like to see where it is going

The grammar ughhhh loads gun aims at my brain pulls trigger ooofffff

Love it.

I like how Hadrian just rips of the rest of his leg after Xavier threatens him.

Would be nice to actually know more about Violet and Ruby. Also who was the lady that he met after he ran away, you know the one mentioned in the summary.

Is Hadrian the guy sitting on the steps? You kind of just jump ahead without any hint so its confusing.

I like Hadrian's attitude toward Dumbledore but his thoughts are... I want to say cringy but I'm sure that fits. Basically he talks about adding Lily to his harem like she was a piece if meat he wanted to snack on and its offputting. If all he wants is to get in her pants then just say that.

Blacklight...is this supposed to be a Quasi crossover with Prototype? Cuz that's the only Blacklight I know about. Sucks you couldn't ever save Sabrina Galloway from being consumed by Mercer though.

I'm not sure what to make of this quite yet I'll have to see what happens next.

Kind of hoping Tonks will be in the harem though

Interesting story can’t wait to see where it goes.

The story is promising I just wish the pairing didn't have Luna because it is kind of boring to read about Luna, Ginny and Hermione as a romantic pair for harry , daphne and fluer are more than fine for harry no need to add any other girls it's just a suggestion

more spacing everyone hates walls of text. usually you wont a space after every 23 paragraphs depending on how long they are.

as for the unknown povs, the first reason for an unknown pov is of said characters have not been introduced yet, in the case of fanfiction this is rarely if ever done becasuse the reader tends to knkw said characters anyway.

its also used for forshadowing, plots and plans by unknown individuals ect..

i do likw the premis and im looking forword to how you plan to go forword.

The premise and start seems like a great idea. My only critique would be it feels very rushed and a little disorganized with no separation between dialogue and action. Other then that I cant wait for more.