Make-out room? I wanna see that! This story would've been even better if it involved AdvanceShipping, but who cares, I liked it anyway! (My OTPs are AdvanceShipping, GymShipping, and RocketShipping)

'Bill, Bill, Bill,'

Bill sends an awful lot of letters to Ash, doesn't he?

Stalker...

Now to leave and stuff

Short. Could be improved, but I love the concept. GYMSHIPPERS WILL RULE THE WORLD!

Well, you have improved nicely, but here's one little tip.

-

YOU WROTE: "Can we sit down for a bit, my feet are getting tired"

IT SHOULD BE: "Can we sit down for a bit? My feet are getting tired," Misty said.

-

Pay close attention to the COMMA I used before putting "Misty said". You should always write who is saying what, and always end the quote in punctuation (comma, exclamation point, etc).

-SOME MORE TIPS-

Get a spell/grammar check. Writing in a program like Microsoft Word (which has access to spell/ grammar check) is highly advised. It makes writing easier and better. _

Other than that, Jesse is actually spelled "Jessie" - note the I before the E. And...it was a little fast-paced. Just slow things down a little...no one's rushing ya. _

-

Other than that, it was cute because it at least had one ship I liked - Rocketshipping. _ [I hate Gymshipping].

Keep writing and I'll keep reviewing! _

Practice, practice, practice!~

Oh! How sweet! _ You should continue!

Oh! How sweet! *Dies*