Story is good. Grammar is passable but has a tendency to fluctuate. Try not to repeat a word multiple times in a paragraph. For example the last paragraph " headed to her team's dorm...when they both arrive at their dorm..." It sounds repetitive

I think Jaune should tell his team not to tell team RWBY the truth and just tell them it’s his semblance. Team RWBY has no right to know and they would probably find it unfair.

I like this story.

So far the plot and the characters are well written, overall it's very much entertaining and interesting to read.

I look forward to read more of this story!

Hm, I think they are taking it pretty well. If that is good or bad really depends on where it goes. In one way Jaune did die, so that would suggest either a bad accident that even a hunter in training couldn't overcome or he was really weak. Which would bring up that he came to school with limited skills. Not a bad thing since some would say it was a stupid idea to begin with. Yet clearly he has the mind to go learn at said school to be better so pretty smart to.

I can say the best thing about this chapter is that Jaune was honest and that is something that could mean something to the group. Hiding things tends to bring about problems. *Point's at Blake*

Yet at least here Jaune shows while it is hard to believe that a god decided, Hey! I'm giving you a second chance because of reasons and I'm also throwing in some awesome power! Have fun.

Nora is just crazy and open minded enough to believe it. Ren I could imagine being suspicious but probably able to realize that is the best answer with what information he has collected in his head so far.

Pyrrha seems to just want to believe in the best of people and that works out here. She really cares more about making bonds and friends without her fame getting in the way.

So in saying that while it was short I didn't see anything that made me scratch my head and go...what?

I think the only thing I can suspect from this chapter is the rest of the team wondering why Jaune needed to survive and what that means for the future. What trials awaits them is unknown at this point. I can imagine this being brought up again just to consider and prepare. Maybe bringing in others as signs of trouble starts popping up.

Also one last thing. I can imagine Nora taking a particular interest in Beans after this revelation. Magic Bean Powers? Gimmie some of that!

the story has a good advance, but the way in which Juane told his team about his magic came to me very soon, perhaps I would have expected more to tell them that is the only flaw that I find

Oh now you're making me nervous, though you did mention Mom mode. maybe Pyrrha reminds him of his mom?

I really want Jaune to tell Yang to stop using that nickname. Having him use his powers to glow green while staring down a red eyed Yang would be awesome.

I am glad that Jaune will learn how to be a better fighter so that he can control his new power.

Going to need a stronger sword he will. Funny to hear Yang talk about unfair semblance. Guess it doesn't feel so great seeing someone else dish more damage with a punch without taking hits for it. I think hers is pretty unfair at times but I believe hers is limited by her aura as I imagine taking hits to power up the semblance drains aura while also using said semblance would drain it as well. I can't imagine her aura ever being above 90% in any fight because of that. At least if aura and semblance was consistent in the series.

He can seem OP in one way but I can imagine anyone evasive can really get around him at this point. Front line fighters like, Yang, Pyrrha, Cardin, Nora, would have the hardest times despite higher level of skills and experience. Yet just one hit even indirectly can really be bad news.

Weiss, Ruby, Ren, Blake, all have range and evasiveness that can cause a lot of problems. Though all can be considered the glass canons of the group so one solid hit or even a shallow strike from Jaune could definitely make for a short match.

Jaune breaking his sword with a swing also shows he could break their weapons if put in the position. I doubt Nora's and Ruby's longer weapons won't be in danger if he reaches out to grab them with that strength.

Still at least this can also teach them how to tangle with someone with far more strength at the start. So despite the differences Jaune still has much to learn to meet the standards while they will learn how to fight someone with frightening strength from the get go.

Still good fight. It was definitely one for everyone to remember. Not to mention someone who stood against Pyrrha. Maybe Cardin and his team won't be bullies or at least towards Jaune.

So nice job! I think your doing pretty well in the creative department. I didn't even wonder how someone like Yang wouldn't take the fight well at all but you made her that way. Which was interesting and made me think that sure she might love a good fight but she to would feel jealous for her own reasons. I can imagine many look at Pyrrha with jealousy wishing they were as talented as she was. Or when they find out about her semblance feel jealous as that is unfair against other fighters who all have to have metal weapons.

So very interesting take. I do hope that Yang can calm down a bit. May not be fair in her eyes but she has training from her father and school to back her skills up to what they are which is something Jaune didn't have.

Either way thanks for the newest chapter! Keep up the good work!

Mooooorrreeeee god please more!

it's very good, but for the fight scene can be developed even more, perhaps by combining more advancing plots when fighting (new power-up when cornered, unbreakable will, new rival and etc)

it's very good, but for the fight scene it can be developed even more, perhaps by combining more advancing plots when fighting (new power-up when cornered, unbreakable will, new rival and etc)

Next please

i think you need to work at fighting scenes on the future, i can see you work great at creating plot and connecting them , but i feel empty when i read your fighting scenes

Dude I love it! Can’t wait to see the next chapter!