I like the imagery that you used in this chapter. It was actually a pretty fun read and the world that Tails is experiencing legitimately feels like it’s coming to life from a story book.

There are a few minor critiques that I have. You’ve got several spots of redundancy and sometimes (mostly with Sally) the character’s thoughts aren’t italicized or quoted, so it kinda breaks flow a bit.

Now on the topic of Antoine... He has a tendency to be a useless character that is just there for comic relief, but I really like that you’re actually giving him some proper life.

But yeah, looking forward to more, so keep on rocking.

This is an interesting set up... I think you need to work on your formatting a bit just to help the story flow a bit better and help distinguish actual thought from narration.

Other than that, it’s a good start. I found the interactions to be humorous and pretty darn enjoyable. Something else that I liked is that you added some extra details, like the sea fox for example, it’s simple, but it’s a great addition and a nice reference to the old Archie Comics.

But yeah, I’m interested to see where all this goes... you’ve got a follow to this story! Rock on and God Bless!

Maybe sonic should watch over tails and put a flashback scene about thier best duo moments

Ant feels guilty after this whole thing, which is understandable. Hopefully he'll be able to do something to help here, but with Tails in the state he is, I'm not sure if that's even a possibility...

Interesting setup and in interested to see where this goes! You've done a good job with the characters and their personalities and I want to see how you'll develop it further!

Man, this is a great story! I really like how you added the adventure aspect of Tails' side of the coma and I can't wait to see what happen with him and the crew. Also, giving Antoine a character arc was well done, his personality up until the end of the chapter mirrored it in the show and the transition in the last scene felt really believable.

I’m liking the first chapter in its setup, though i’ll have to see more to get a proper feel for it. The group having an inner conflict and it all relates to Tails’ wellbeing, a very human thing for them to do.

I enjoy the part where Bunnie scolded both Sonic and Antoine for their bickering. I imagine if Satam had a third season, it is possible that they would have a moment similar like this.

Speaking of Antoine... Since he was meant to keep an eye on Tails but his charlatan side got the better of him, I assume there’ll be a story arc for him that has the coyote feel the weight of his ill-responsible actions and all that jazz. Your way of getting him from Cowardly and Selfish Antoine to Confident and Mature Antoine without the Moebius stuff perhaps?

Grammar and spelling-wise, I haven’t spotted any typos that shouldn’t be there nor any sentences where I have to take a second glance to be sure I wasn’t reading it wrong.

Same goes for the characters in this chapter as they all are what you expect them to be from the cartoon but you added something to that to help the story while keeping them within how they should act without completely rewriting them as a whole.

Case in point: Bunnie when she’s being furious as it’s coming from a reasonable place and the reader can infer what’s causing that side of her to come up based on what took place several paragraphs ago.

I await to see where you’ll take this one.