hey this was good

Meanwhile i'm just here like "wait, they can build Jimmy Irondick a whole half a body, but they can't give Jaune some robot legs?"

but yeah, i'm gonna agree that Nora and Ren leaving makes less than 0 sense.

It's great to see Nora and Ren abandon their closest friend/ admitted brother when he is in need of the most support. Especially when neither of them aregood at rebuilding anything, they have exactly zero business trying to rebuild any kind of settlement especially since it runs counter to everything. The only reason this annoys me, is because I really can see Rooster Teeth pushing them to do this at the end of the series, but Jaune will just fade into obscurity while everyone else is a lesbian.

Maybe it will work as a two shot, describing healing process, but ch1 needs some fixing

this is oozing potential

Hells yeah, its worth pursuing. I love this!

MOAR!

Not a bad concept.
It could have merit as a full story, but I personally see it being a somewhat short story. With all the time jumps within this pilot chapter, I can only expect that to continue on if you choose to continue it.

Anyways,
Not a necessarily bad start / concept.

Best of luck if you choose to continue this story.

Till next.

More please.

I like the premise, just plz don’t make Jaune an a-hole with Weiss

Very nice opening to this brand new story! Honestly, I’m interested in where you will take it sand how you will develop the relationship between Weiss and Jaune. Though, I imagine it may have been better to slow down the pace for this chapter a little bit and give the readers some more time to process what is going on. It was a bit jarring to read about how Jaune had been in a coma for a whole month then just a short while later jump to how a few weeks have already passed. Other than that and some other small things, it was a chapter that I quite liked!

Regardless, if it’s more WhiteKnight, then I’m excited for what’s coming up next! Keep up the good Work!