Wordy... Very wordy.
Okay, during your edit I suggest doing a few things.
1) Find a way to reduce all descriptive narratives to 1/3 their length. ex. You used three sentences to describe Teana's tormentors never being seen without the other two in tow. A sample shortcut would be: For whatever reason, these three women seemed joined at the hip when they were out in public. That would be enough for that description.
2) Cut the adverbs to one a paragraph. I have had this complaint about my writing in the past. This is extreme but when you overuse you need to go the other way to learn how to write without using them. I used the above rule to cut down on unnecessary adverb use.
3) Cut down on the complicated vocabulary. I like to use big words too but it dries out the narrative. Five big vocab words in the same sentence make it sound technical and can bog down a reader. Try to dumb it down a bit with simpler words that say the same thing. One or two big words in a sentence will add flare but five or six will dry it out.
I want to enjoy this story, it sounds wonderful, but it took 2 days for me to read half of this chapter before I wrote this review because of how dry the narration became. Also the chapter is really big. You might want to check the word count for this one and maybe next time break it in half. If my phone didn't save my spot, I would have to read it all in one go or lose my place.

Atem conundrum after mowing down a pretty girl.
I need to run!
I need to apologize!
I need to run!
I need to apologize!
Compromise! Abduct the girl while running from guards so he can apologize later.

I realize this is Memory World but why is she addressing him as Yami? Everyone in Memory World addressed him by his title since his name was still sealed.

I am long overdue to read this. Great opening! Wish I had started reading it sooner!

You have a great writing style! This story had me captivated with how you were able to keep the personalities of Tea and Yami intact, while also accomplishing new personas for both of them. Fantastic work! I eagerly await the next chapter! Best of luck!

This is such a great story! Hope you update the next chapter soon

waw... great development. i love it.

waw... nice progress... i enjoy reading this...

hi again... i am sorry for slow review... i need time to read the chapter. so far... this is nice flash back chapter... i love imagining their first meeting on my head... so good job for this chapter.

Sorry to hear about your loss in 2017. I hope this year is better for you.
The gang leader got what he deserved after his crimes. The Ka was Summoned Skull. I wonder what will become of it now.
Poor Yami, being possessed by Zorc. Was Zorc playing to Yami's will? He acted like an avenger, dishing out harsh justice to the criminals. But I think that is part of his manipulative, evil nature.
I hope Teana is okay.

waw... ITS been 4 years since my last review... my appologies... but real life problem is come first... and i hadir to dealt with that. i hope you understand. so now i Will review every chapter... to pay back for my lateness... for the story'... so far slow progress... but ITS still early so i Will just countinue reading.. see you...

Those thugs brought this upon themselves and the leader deserved everything he got for what he did to those poor girls.

But poor Atem and Teana though.

Dude I had just read your story and thought it is really good! But I'm surprised when I saw the date you first published this and I was like WHAT?! 2003! That was 15 years ago! That's more than half of my lifetime! Most of my siblings, two of them being teenagers weren't even born at the time. And the fact that you're still around updating this story is quite impressive.

This was a really interesting chapter! I really can't wait to see wait will happen next. I really hope yami can fight this and don't lose himself completely

I know that reviews are the life blood of a writer. Just wanted to say that I really like this. A little too verbose in the prose, but it makes the characters very real. I keep reading!